I can't face going on holiday

[Sad_Mike]

Hi.. I'll jump straight in.

I have a pretty good job, earn plenty of money for a 26yo, and can take weeks off at a time if I so choose. If I wanted to go on holiday my only problem is.. where do I go?!

Most people would think this was pretty arrogant or cocky to brag about having it so easy. But this isn't bragging. This is an absolute nightmare and it brings me to tears at times.

Even the thought of going away to another country on holiday makes my blood boil. Just having someone talk to me about "holidays" and "how nice it is to get away" and "oh I wish I didn't have to come back ROLF" makes me want to punch them in the face!

The thing that upsets me the most is how much pleasure everyone gets from it. Why don't I feel that way? Why does it fill me with so much hatred?

To try and explain.. I don't have a "fear of travelling" or anything. I don't get sea sick, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about going to another country and having nothing to do. Because what is there to do on this planet really? Go swimming with the dolphins? Go hiking and "see something fun"? WHY?!?!!? WHAT IS THE POINT?!

I don't like the idea of being in another country and having no one understand what I'm saying because I don't speak the language. Or having everyone laugh in my face because I sound stupid when I try and say some foreign phrases.

One day I'm going to die. And I will have done nothing with my pointless life. And I will have been nowhere because I hate everything.

You can summarise for yourself and arrive at the very logic conclusion that, yes, I have NO friends. I have NO girlfriend. I'm a miserable man who is going to die bitter and alone.

How do I get over this?! PLEASE help me! I feel like killing myself I really do.

I'm not an idiot. I know people in this world have it bad. I know how bad the economy is and that a lot of people would kill to be able to afford a holiday right now... but these are the people I envy! These are the people that can at least feel something other than hatred and fear.

[Anxious_gal]

Maybe you could meet new people?
Question, why do you not have friends, confidence , social anxiety etc?
You could try voluntary work abroad, it might put more meaning into you life and helping people do make you feel good.

[debs71]

Hi Mike,

Well....if I may be so bold, my perception of your post is more that there may be something triggering your thoughts about going on holiday, rather than the holiday being the issue. (if that makes sense)

Anxiety and/or depression, to be frank, makes us down on almost everything, even things like going on holiday. I have booked and cancelled holidays (and lost a lot of money doing so) because I couldn't face going. I have also BEEN on holiday and been utterly depressed!!

The trick is getting to the root of WHY you feel the way you do about holidays, or are averse to the whole idea.

I travel alone and have done for 13 years now, and I can honestly tell you that the fact is, holidays are what you make them, but more importantly, what you want to get out of them. I sincerely think that perhaps if you addressed the REASONS why you feel the way you do about something that is usually seen as a pleasure, then your entire perception of holidaying would change.

You are not alone in this as well, as I mentioned before. Since I have had probs with depression and anxiety, holidays have been a bit of an issue, depending on how well I am.

Can I ask if you have seen your GP at all about your feelings? I think that you will find a lot of folk here that know exactly where you are coming from and understand your feelings.

Me for one! :flowers: