im convinced im dying.

[pinkynicca]

I cant shake these feelings, i have had a forehead headache, Mild.. for a month now, but my neck and back are also messed up, for years now when im in a sitting position its very painful for me to bend my neck forward or backward, when i do i feel the pain radiate down my back all the way into my forehead. i think i have a brain tumor, doctors are not an option at the moment seeing as i live in the US and have no insurance. i think i walk weird i criticize everything i say, hear, read, the way i walk. im also rather depressed im in a bit of a robot mode if you will, i sleep late, wake up for work, get off late and go to bed afterwards, it scares me the way i think, id rather die than deal with this crap. im not scared of death anymore, im just tired of surviving, i want to live.

[snowgoose]

Hello :)
we have spoken before ...........and I am so sad you feel so bad .
Not being able to get reassurance from the doctor for financial reasons is just awful and thank god we here in UK have not that burden .
Anyway ............I am no doc of course ...........but all your symptoms relate to tense muscles in neck and back .and give constant head pressure and ache .
And they take a long time to go . Had it Pinky ......the dizziness caused and unreal feeling and constant head ache .
If you had tumour ..........you would have far more immediate symptoms other than headache .

If you can get a heat pack for your neck .the ones you heat in microwave ....or have hot bath and lie and steep neck . Please try to do breathing exercises to keep panic down ......through your nose ..........and slow out through your mouth .
I have the same headache stiff neck stuff .........it is our poor muscles and tendons tense ..........then they aggravate the nerves .......Arrgh
but not life threatening Pinky :hugs:

Snow xx

[pinkynicca]

i cant help but cry when i read this, i live my life without a single person who makes me feel better and yet a stranger can bring me such comfort.

[j2]

Pinky,

Your mention of robot mode really struck a nerve with me. I feel like all I do is survive. I have many reasons to be happy. Sure I could use more money but I have lots I should be thankful for, but I am numb. I just float through most days in a fog.

You have lots of people who care here. Nobody in my non-cyber life gets it (not even my doctor) but the people on this board understand and don't judge. Take care and I hope you feel better.

J2

[snowgoose]

why do you feel so alone Pinky?

xxx

[pinkynicca]

i have no reason to feel so low, i have had alot of bad things happen but thats life and i do my best to deal with my past, the one thing that really gets to me is my job, i work at a bar and all night all i see is happy people, i know they have bad things in there life too but there ability to be able to turn it off and live makes me want to scream, even when im at work all i think about is a brain tumor, or a heart defect, or something else, what ever it is it occupies my brain to the point of just wanting to sleep all day everyday.. im 24 but i havent felt healthy in years perhaps ever. its so discouraging working all night with your head hurting to get off work go to sleep and wake up with the same damn head/neck/back pains all over again. and in all honesty i can live with the pain but anytime my body feels odd, its not a sinus problem or a pinched nerve or something like that, its always the worst case scenario.. i read online about brain tumors for hours, i have pretty much just a headache, then i read how rare and how just a headache isnt the main symptoms, but then i read other peoples stories about how all they had was a headache... UHGGGG its such an endless cycle im sorry for ranting, i havent talked to anybody in so long, i keep telling myself im going to talk to my girlfriend about some things but i cant seem to let the words flow so everybody around me thinks im just fine.

[snowgoose]

Hi :hugs:
I feel for you . It is exhausting and makes life very hard to deal with .
Our past shapes our view of the world and somehow you have been left this health anxiety that is so hard to shift . Dont google though !!!!!
I wonder if in the States is there anywhere you can get support to see a doctor and access some therapy ?

re finding it hard to talk Pinky ..............sometimes it is so difficult to get words out while putting on the mask of smiling happy face . What I have done in the past is write it down in letter form and give it to the person closest to you ..perhaps your girlfriend ?
You will get over this. Your mails tell me you know in your heart that it is anxiety in all its hell .....not brain tumour . just got to get you to relax and believe it and then the headaches and neck pain etc will eventually go .
hold on and write that letter ok ? even if you tear it up it helps to write it down .
please also seek doctor if you8 can through whatever means is available in the States .
hope some of our friends from across the pond will reply here re that .
snow xxx

[penniepie]

What is your job? I have constant head, neck and upper back issues along with headaches due to being at my computer 8 hours a day
It's terrible.., I use a heading pad it helps and back,neck massages if u can get any!
My heart goes out to you

My aunt and grandma had brain cancer and I assure you your symptoms are not that... They had much more worrisome symptoms

I can relate to you I can not get my words to flow to tell my husband my feelings
I can assure you that you are okay but can't reassure myself..messed up eh?

If you need to chat msg me

---------- Post added at 06:37 ---------- Previous post was at 06:33 ----------

It's hard being in your country for health care... Land if the free eh...I wish everyone in this world had access to free Heath advice and help like we have in Canada
It's criminal not to.

[PinkRoxy]

it sounds like sinus. My dad suffers it really bad and so do I on occasion. It feels awful to beind forward and the pain is in the forehead and eyes.
Have you tried going to a steam room or putting a hot flannel on your face.
There are also sinus pressure points if you massage them it helps make you feel better.
Anyway good luck :)

[katielou80]

pinky...i have the same symptoms, my neck is stiff on my left side and if i move it to the side, i get pain in my head and at the top of my back, ive had it months, also sharp shooting pains in my head. dr says its just muscular. ignore it x