Is this separation anxiety?

[griceldan51]

I guess I don't really know if this is separation anxiety or not, but this is what the situation is and what I feel. Lets say my wife calls from work and says that she is going out with her co-workers for a few drinks because of a recent proejct success. Right then and there, I get a little sense of ugh because she is going to be going to an even that I won't be at, and there is a change in the scehdule that we normally follow. So, I get the kids, go home and get them fed, etc. Get them in bed, and then sit and watch a movie. And wait. And wait. And now it's 10 pm and I have not heard from her. Now 10:30. So I call her, because I am worried, and I am starting to worry about what MAY happen, or could happen, to her since I am not there to protect (or control the situation around her). She answers, and tells me that she will be leaving in a half hour, and she is ok to drive. So, an hour goes back,and I know that the place is 20 minutes from our house, so I start to worry more. And I start to get an anxious feeling in my chest, and I cannot focus on the movie. I'm not pacing, but I'm worried. So I call again, and she is now in the car talking to her friend who just got done with a divorce, and she is making sure she is ok to drive, and she'll be leaving in a few. 45 mintues later, my wife is still not home, and now I am beside myself. I am stressed and anxious, etc. When she finally does come home, I am ok. Is this Separation Anxiety? I don't get this way when she is at work. I'd like her, when she travels, to let me know when she leaves our house and when she gets to her mothers house, etc. Just so that I know that she is safe. I don't need to know anything else, just that she is safe. Thanks,

[Lynnann]

Ok I see both sides of this? you have anxiety and that feeds your worries however you have learnt to cope with the day to day schedule, i.e: work

Your wife doesn't have anxiety, she will see this behavior as controlling not caring. If you don't get this under control it will take over, you are already timing journeys, as you said you know that place is 20 minutes away, That is 20 minutes for you driving, she may drive slower? she may get stuck behind a slow moving vehicle? There are lots of variables in any calculation?

This is your issue to deal with and you need to change the way your mind views it. Perhaps make a weekly schedule with her so that you know in advance what she is doing the same as work so that you can cope better?

Lynnann:flowers:

[saro]

I used to get this on a thursday with my partner. He would go to see his mother and father and I would be sitting here all night wondering and worrying what time he was coming home and then when he got back I was ok.

I found that distracting myself from this and focusing on other things other than the tv helped. I tend to do my nails and plan to do my university work on a thursday while he is away. This usually helps me but it takes a lot to refocus myself away from him not being there.