Problems at work - any advice

[Gaily]

Hi, I was diagnosed with GAD in February this year.

I have done CBT and I am also seeing a TA therapist which is really helping. I have also taken up reiki and anything else that I can do to help myself get through this.

I am a manager of a team in a very stressful job incidentally it was the job that caused my Anxiety and depression (mild). Since the diagnosis I am also taking medication citlopram 20mg and thought i was coping well.

The work this year has been hard and i have had good and bad days and have always been honest with my Boss and HR manager.

Yesterday I was actually offered money to leave the company, the person who offered it to me said that he had not discussed it with anyone however if I wanted to take him up on the offer he wold then talk to the main powers that be and ask them to offer me a package.

He said this because he said he was worried about my health. (he is the HR Manager)

As you can imagine this has turned my world upside down and I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave work as I love my job and feel i have worked very hard for the last five years.

The HR manager also asked me who was looking after my health - given all the things i am doing to get better I replied I am. The conversation ended when I said he could shove his offer and that I was not going anywhere.

Any advice or help would be great

Thank you

:mad:

[diane07]

Hi Gaily

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[mallan82450]

Hmmm, I'd be careful here! Are you a member of a union? If so get them involved immediately and explain the offer you have been made. Was it an amicable conversation or was a conversation that you were more or less told to take the offer?

Take care :)

[Gaily]

No not a member of a union - was not told to take the offer but as it was offered i'm more than a little suspicious of it. He basically said that he was worried about my health and if I wanted him to he would help to sort out a package for me. Does not sound great does it:scared15:

[louis]

Dear Friend,
I have had people at work look me in the face and thank me for being honest and open and thank me for sharing, but the truth is they dont want to hear it at work. They want you focused and to be your old self that was only talking about the project. I know it is arrogant to offer advice but I would try to keep work at work and confide in friends and family away from work. If you are asked anything about anxiety tell them you are receiving medical help and have been assured you are making progress. I have had trouble at work due to having panic and it has taken a long time to not be leaving work over panic, and running home or to the doctor's office. You can do this! concentrate on the task at hand, and if it makes you feel anxious try concentrating on the details of the task at hand. But an HR manager is there to protect the compnay and not there to help you. He or she may be a "nice guy" but they are not on your side ever. That is their job and they have to get used to doing it. i have a dear friend who has done it and he was glad to stop doing that kind of work. So, like the others say to your posy be careful, and write to me in e-mails if you like.
Louis

[Gaily]

Hi Louis, Thank you very much for this I appreciate the honesty. I do need to protect myself at work & will keep work to work from now on.
Thanks for the great advice! & for also making me see what HR people are there for!
Gaily

[Foxtrot]

Hi Gaily

You said that work was part of the reason for your anxiety. Does it still cause you anxiety? If so then perhaps you should think about the offer seriously as you come before anything else. You are the most important person. Perhaps he was being genuine. Have you been having panic attacks at work; has your anxiety levels affected your work. The person you have to be true to is yourself. It may be better to take the money and find a job that you enjoy that doesn't make you ill. I just left a job because I was suffering from panic at work. At first I felt relieved but now I'm worred about money. If I had the money then I would say it was the best thing I ever did.

I hope you don't worry too much about this. If you have been there for a long time you have rights under the law. They just can't get rid of you if you are doing your job. Perhaps they are seeing something that you can't. I hope I'm not offending you; I don't mean to.

Fox

[Gaily]

Hi

just a quick update:

The HR manager was doing this off his own back before he left the company as he was worried about me. No one else knew about the conversation at all & this has so far proved to be correct. Left me in one hell of a state though so thank you all for your help and advice it meant a lot and got me through a very difficult month. :bighug1:

Fox thank you for your comments - they make great sense. I have been there a while and it now seems like they are not wanting to get rid of me - I am thinking about a job change through based on what happened. Thank you for your thoughts xx

[Foxtrot]

Hi Gaily

I'm so pleased this has been sorted. I worry about things like that too so I know where you're coming from.

Please do remember though that you are the most important person....nobody can replace you in this life and you have to be true to yourself.

I've had a bad couple of weeks so am probably not the best person to be giving out advice but I do know that most of the time I try to be positive and it really makes a difference. Throughout my life I have learned to move on if things don't make me happy anymore - and that means life's relationships too. I don't move on without trying to sort it but life is far too short to be worrying needlessly......says she who bites her fingernails with worry at times.....lol

So pleased to hear this. I hope 2012 brings you everything you want it to.

My best
Foxtrot