HELP

[ciccone-hassell]

hi group well hope all are ok ? i havent posted for awhile just gen update how i'm feeling ? well atm really low and down , i feel i've come to the stage where i'm gunna just end up going sleep and not waking up , i cant fully explain why i'm this low but the most reasons are is i feel unsettled in life , i feel no sense of direction , i feel i dont fit in within my family or with the gay communty i just feel when i stop and close my eyes i see myself " i look low , tears in eyes , i look ill , i look unhealthy , i'm scared " i also have had some issures at work people being childish and back stabbing while i was off , then last night had boss txtin me and causing me more stress , i just feel is this the end ? is this when i am ment to hold hands up and admit i cant cope , or do i run away ? runnin away will hurt my family so i really feel i cant do that but i think me being ere is stress full for them , they deserve a happy family they dont need me ere upsettin them , i honestly can stay if i new they would be ok and didnt hurt them and someone said heres a pill take it u be asleep and dead within 10mins i do it :( sounds bad and sounds like i'm selfish " i'm not honestly " i'm a good person who wants to be happy and wants to make others happy but i get treated so badly , i cant beleve i worked at this place since 09/2007 i done everythn for them worked so hard , even gone in sick and i'm off wat 1 wk and i get shit on :( i did tell her how i felt but they say i'm wrong but i'm not !!!! i need help ! advice ! please if u can advise me i'd be so greatfull , mr happyish has truely gone atm :( i only no if i can move wales i be happy new life and settle down ,,, so so sorry for this low messgae i just cant cope :weep::weep::weep::weep:

[Moggo]

Hi Mark,

Not sure what to say other than send :hugs:, you are not alone mate.

[ciccone-hassell]

thanks :bighug1:

[fluff]

Hey mark:hugs: i hate your work you really need to try and get a new job or maybe see someone higher up and explain the stress you getting its sooo not right.You really lovely guy you dont deserve to be treated badly im always here shoulder to cry on.You need me lovely hunky man take good care of you im sure your family love you dearly xxx

---------- Post added at 22:18 ---------- Previous post was at 22:17 ----------

i ment meet lovely hunky man lol

[ciccone-hassell]

thanks :hugs: i wanna leave there asap its urgenty i leave now add enough xxx

[mallan82450]

Hi Mark my name is Marc :)

I am also gay . . . Don't feel like you don't belong mate, everyone is welcome in the gay community and if they didn't I have now :welcome:

Sorry you are going through a tough time at the minute, I'm also battling through panic and anxiety. You're not alone.

Feel free to PM me if you need a friendly ear.

Take care.

[goldilockz]

Hi Mark,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I have to say that I agree with Marc. Although I am not gay, the vast majority of my friends are and I have found the gay community to be very accepting and understanding of people's differences. The good thing about the gay community is that there is not just one 'norm' as I feel there is a norm to aspire to in the heterosexual realm, the gay community accepts people who are eccentric, introverted or otherwise. You sound like a caring, lovely individual. Try not to be so hard on yourself. xx

[ciccone-hassell]

thanks goldilockz and marc maybe i'm specking to the wrong gay guys then by looks of things :lac: but hopefullly 1 day then nice guys will show up ay :) ,, i try not be hard on myself just hard not to beat myself up at times like this , thank u again from bottom of my heart ,,, xx

[ciccone-hassell]

just an update ppl , i am off sick from work till 29th dec wasnt great monday at all , feeling very low yesterday and woke up today went on 1dt date with fella was nice and early days yet :) the thing thats really anoyed me and yeah i no this is deffo health stress " add xray as bike crash was still causing issues so docs got that sorted " awaiting results " then when at hospital yesterday my aching in right side started again but even tho m8s/family av said " remember its stress " i thinking i ill yet again grrrrr so anoying isnt it ,,,, wondered do other members find thay have weak areas on there body and when stress happens it flares up ? , thanks all again xxx