cancer fears

[Betsyboo9034]

Hi everyone,
I posted this in the 'introduce yourself' section, but I figure I might as well put it here too...considering I suffer from pretty bad Health Anxiety, and it has been really difficult coping the last few months.

I had a really long period of time when my anxiety was under control, but my mother was just diagnosed with dementia in the last year. She lived on her own so we had to put her into an assisted living facility. This seems to have made my anxiety 1000000 times worse.

First, at the beginning of the academic year I convinced myself that I had HIV, and of course the tests came back negative. Now I have convinced myself I have breast cancer, because I have a sore swollen lymph node underneath my arm, and I had a rash on my nipple. I even went to the doctor and she said that the lymph node was normal, and gave me some cream for the rash, but of course I still freak out about it. The rash has gone, but it still itches a bit, and the lymph node is still sore.

I just don't know where to go from here. I feel like I do everything I can, I go to counselling every week, and I take my meds everyday, but I feel so alone now. I don't even have a mom to talk to about my 'women's health scares'. I just feel like I am destined to be anxious forever. Why can't I just trust my doctor??? I feel crazy.

Thanks :)
Elizabeth

[SomeOddworld]

I think the reason you don't trust your doctor is because you're so utterly convinced that your fears are a reality that you won't accept anything else (as to whether you do this conciously or not is not for me to say).

But trust your doctor, he/she knows what they're doing.

Also, NEVER look up your symptoms on Google, its unreliable and causes a lot of health anxiety/panic attacks (I know this from experience).

Go see a doctor if you're worried about the rash still, but it's probably nothing.

The only thing I suggest doing is carrying on and trying not to worry, I know its harder than it sounds but I'm sure you'll eventually pull through.

I hope I've been somewhat helpful, if not then... sorry for wasting your time :L

[Betsyboo9034]

Thanks :)
I do have to really force myself to not look at Google. It always seems like it will make me feel better, but of course it won't! I will probably go back to the doctor after the holidays, but I think it is on its way to getting better. I just have to stop my brain from obsessing over it! It is so hard!

[SomeOddworld]

Yeah I feel like that a lot, constantly examining myself for anything strange, and if the slightest thing comes up I MUST BE DYING.

But we have to learn to just chillax, how we will do that is relative to us ;)

[Betsyboo9034]

I mean, if the rash is going away, that would be a sign that there isn't cancer...right? It is still itchy, but not nearly as itchy as before. I wish I could get back to the doctor, but I literally don't have time during the holidays...and I know this is going to be weighing on my mind.