Constant strong anxiety/reaction

[johansaken]

Back again. I havent been on here for awhile. And I havent had anxiety for 11 months.
Before I suffered from Borderline, panicanxiety, Social Phobia and depression.
After being home for a years (cause I was was sick in these diagnoses) I started school this fall (in August), and faced everything that I was afraid of everyday for months without any reaction from within.

Thats the backstory. Anyway. Yesterday my brother visited me and my family and we came to talk about my father alot, who ruined my childhood. He was a drunk and I saw and experinced horror everyday of my first years til I hit the age of 5.

I was in therapy for the last 4 years. And was bornagain christian on the 17th of January. havent had any problems with anxiety since then.
until now. Until yesterday when my brother talked about those times.

After he left I felt that something wasnt right but I couldnt tell what it was. later I realized that I started to feel ill after he talked about it.
Evening came and the feeling wouldnt go away. Been having troubles falling asleep aswell (which I believe is connected to the fact that I've been under stress in school and such).

Anyway. I been feeling really wierd. as if something is wrong. As if Im burnt out, like both I and the world is out of place. And I can feel fear creep in. and it feeds the anxiety.

I come to you guys, for you help me in ways many others cant.

I come to

[jeezo678]

I realized that I started to feel ill after he talked about it. .................................................. .................................................. .................................

I can feel fear creep in. and it feeds the anxiety.



THERE is the reason. You know why you`re feeling the way you are so you KNOW its not so serious and you also know you came out of it last time and you`ll come out of it again.
The something is `wrong` bit is the anxiety/worry/stress. They feed off each other as you know. You get a feeling and you run with it. Can ask you? Is there ever any moment in the day where you` forget`? about how you`re feeling? Even for a minute? If you do and can remember what caused you to forget your `problem`, do it again.
Is there someone you can call and talk to on a subject that has NOTHING to do with any of your problems? If you can do it. Talk about anything. Fishing/sport/women/work/politicc anything just to change the channel.

:shades:

[johansaken]

Thanks for the reply Jeez. you are right. And I know I know what it comes from. But it overcomes me. I hated all the symptoms back in the day. But the worst ones are when you feel out of touch. Just need the reassurance I guess.
And when it hits me, even thou I have so many years of experience and so much knowledge it hits bad. Most of the day was good, but when evening comes, well y'all know what it brings.

I can take all the physical symptoms. but when it comes to the racing thoughts and not feeling like yourself its really bad.

I guess Im chocked. That it still awakens such strong feelings within. And even thou I know all of this its still very hard.

Visual Disturbance I can usually deal with, now they're cause of fear. But I manage to cope with it most of the time.
but when you get em all at the same time... oh man.
but still its different this time around. i can understand that this is a stressreaction. But even if I do understand it I need you guys and your reassurance. And to know that you arent alone.