Going out to the place where I had my panic attack

[Justin1973]

Hi everyone,

I've been invited around to one of my friends friend's house this coming Sunday (if that makes sense lol).

Anyway, I'm going around there for a Christmas party this Sunday.

Now, I've been to this lady's house on several occasions with one of my friends.

The second time I went around there for sunday dinner. After a fairly heavy drinking session the day before, I went around there not feeling my best. Had a panic attack during the meal and had to lay down. Then, I went over there for dinner two weeks later and during the evening meal, panic started to set in. Made my excuses and went to the bathroom for a breather and to splash cold water on my face. Came back the meal. Finished it but shook all the time I was at the table.

Now, I'm going back there again this Sunday for a party.

I'm very anxious about this. I'm worried about having a panic attack there again. I'm gonna feel soooo silly if this happens a third time. I'll have to find a way to distract myself or maybe get up and took a good look at the christmas tree or something.

I hope this is the right section write this out.
I feel sill having this social event playing around in my mind. I have some tools to relieve panic but, I just feel it might not work to quash the panic fast enough.

I'm.... well, I think I just need some reasurance, words of wisdom. I definitely need to get things into perspective. I feel a bit silly for writing this out but, I'd rather get this out in the open in a public forum, just to get some release.

Thanks for you reading this :)

[paula lynne]

Going back is the best thing you can do! Facing it will diminish your fear, even if it doesnt feel like it at the time. Try not to drink too much, and keep busy as the time to leave approaches. If you start feeling uncomfortable and twitchy, go and run your wrists under cold water, and give yourself some positive self talk. Distraction is great, nothing wrong with taking a look at the tree or something else in the room. I hope you have a great time, enjoy yourself!
Paula x

[Justin1973]

Thanks Paula, that's really kind of you to respond with some advice. I've heard a lot about facing fears and it's right that me going to this friend's house for the party will be a good start. I'll take your advice on board about washing wrists underwater. Yep, distraction is key. I've got a game on mobile phone I can play for a few minutes if it all gets unbearable. That in itself "should" give me comfort already. I am looking forward to going, just afraid an onset of panic.

I'll be so glad when I can get passed all that.

Thanks so much again.

Justin :)

[paula lynne]

I know you are afraid, your brain has made a very strong connection between that particular place and the onset on panic. Ive had it for 11 years now, with agoraphobia. Here is the key. You have to act like you dont have anxiety, you dont know what it is, youve never experienced it.

Also, when those feelings surface, you can give your panic feelings permission to come with you.....
What I mean is, you can acknowledge the feelings, but you have to be ruthless and tell yourself "Ok I know you are there panic, but I really cant be bothered with you today, Im busy, and Ive got much more important things to think about....so come with me as I go about my day but i wont be paying you much attention!"

This sends a very strong message to yourself (your brain) that you are actually taking back control, instead of panic controlling you. So if you feel dizzy, great but get on with your day. If you get hot, ok fine, but get on with your day. If your heart starts beating a little faster, well, great (thats its job in response to adrenaline), but get on with your day. Feel these sensations but never let them stop you. Eventually, your panic will get so fed up of being ignored it will start to lessen!

Try it. It worked for me. Ok, it worked over a few monthes, but Im 90% better and have no problems going out feeling like this now. It will not beat me. It will not stop me. You can do it. Have a fantastic time!!!! :D:D You can still use distraction if you find this works for you also. Let me know how you get on, Paula x ps....instead of being afraid of the panic, say to yourself "Bring it on!!!!!".......your power and control will build as panic becomes a weak little monster who has no strength left.

[Veronica H]

Hi Justin
I think you are doing the right thing in facing your fear. Your fight or flight response kicked in while you were there and so your brain willl remember that and may give you some warning sensations again. My advice is to accept that you will feel the sensations but do not add any fear to them. Tell yourself this is a harmless chemical reaction and can not harm you in any way. Although the sensations feel powerful and uncomfortable I promise you that to the people around you they are usually invisible unless you mention them. This is an internal struggle and an illness of how we think. Distraction is good, but just accept, don't fight as this feeds the fear. By the time you leave your brain will have positive memories of that location. I know it isn't as easy as it sounds, but be brave buddy and you will go from strength to strength......remeber to enjoy yourself too:bighug1: Vx

[Justin1973]

Thanks again guys, this is great advice. It gives me a lot of courage for Sunday. Today, I've decided not to dwell on it and just get on with what I have planned for the week, let the days go by. Once Sunday comes I can busy myself until it's time to go. I'll do some self talking - in my head - whilest in the taxi going there. One thing I have been doing else where in having meals out is I make sure that when i sit down, I relax my body completely. almost go limp as it were. I find it helps to relax me in the initial stages of being where ever I am. Then, I'm fine for the rest of the time out.

So, I'll do that as well when Sunday comes. I'll topics to talk about as well so that I'm talking to people much of the time.

Thanks for the encouragement guys. It'll get better after Sunday :bighug1:

[theharvestmouse]

great advice Paula, thanks, I could use that as well!:D

[Tero]

Yes, there will be anxiety at that place. Maybe a level of panic attack. But I have gone to the don't fight it approach. I started a thread on that under panic attacks.

[Justin1973]

Hi everyone who posted and red here :)

This could go in the success stories but, I'm not cure yet.

However, in relation to my original post here, I have happy news to report.

I took a taxi ride to my friend's house. The taxi ride was fairly longish ride. However, I engaged the driver in conversation. He was very talkative as it happens. The panic was there, waiting in the background to be let in. I just focused on my breathing, the conversation and participated. That helped with the journey ther a lot.

Then, I went into the house to say hellos. I was nervous, a little shakey and panicky. However, I settle down nicely. I had a good look at and got introduced to the new kittens. My best mate who was there stayed with me most of the night, talking to me, telling me about stories of past parties they've had here.

I settled down pritty quickly actually. I had period of tiredness during the course of the party but, that didn't bother me in the slightest. It showed me I have reach maximum comfort :yesyes:

Yeah, I stayed late until the early hours. I'm so thrilled that's done. It means, it'll get easier and easier with each visit. It's just doing it the first time that is the hardest. Once experienced, it helps a lot.

Thanks so much for your support and advice guys. It's always good to share advice like this. Thank you so much again :)

Merry Christmas!

[Veronica H]

:bighug1::yesyes::yahoo:Well done.xV