Anyone out there?

[scoob]

Hi,
I really am struggling at the moment I have been off work for around three months now with stress, anxiety and depression. Everyday is becoming a struggle. I have been reduced to 40mg from 60mg of Citralopram after some type of health warning. I try to go out every day bit get soooo exhausted just holding my panic together. My Dr wants me to prepare for returning to work but I am scared that I am not wanted back after so long. I have posted a couple of times with no replies and don’t know where else to go. I spend all day worrying about going back to a job where depression & anxiety are looked at as a human failing and spoken about as an excuse for being not up to the job. I just need some ideas about how to approach going back as I can’t even begin to fathom how I am going to do it. Sorry for the long post.

Any advice would be really useful as it feels that I am on my own out here.

S

[snowgoose]

Hi scoob

sorry you have had no replies .

My own feeling is that you must say to your doctor that you are no way ready yet and need some more leave . it is pointless to go back before you are ready .
I know we all have to challenge scared feelings going back and it is good to get back to workplace ..BUT .......my feeling here is that you need some more help and support .
Can you go back on phased return part time ? Build up your strength .
Have you got occupational health support ? A friend at work who will look out for you?

I have had similar fears in past with different outcomes scoob . Do not go back too soon while fragile is my opinion .
While off though I made myself take bus to work as if I was going sort of thing .......and meet colleagues on their lunch break once or twice just to keep in the loop . I realise that may be not possible for you . But do the work drive in /bus routine to see how you react if you can .
It took time to get so unwell ..it takes time to get well ....talk to your doc .
take care xxx

---------- Post added 13-12-11 at 00:01 ---------- Previous post was 12-12-11 at 23:58 ----------

sometimes also
....we need to bail out of the job that was part of the cause in the first place .
very hard to do .......but your health is paramount scoob . xx

[scoob]

Thanks Snowgoose. i am back at the docs on Friday and then an occupational health appointment in the afternoon. I just feel empty and stuck in a rut where i cannot see anything changing. I will try the route to work idea as i had not even thought of trying that. I work for a very big local organisation and am really worried that they will see me out and think I am swinging the lead. I know deep down I am still quite ill but also know that i have a mortgage to pay and I need to try something else. I went back in July after a break due to a bit of a crisis. I knownow I was not well enough to return but hey I have discovered I have 20/20 hindsight .

Thank you fo much for taking the time to reply to my post.

S

[snowgoose]

occupational health will support the idea of being out and visiting workplace as part of recovery and will with your permission tell your bosses why this is vital for your back to work programme . honest .
But I know also how you worry how it looks and how folk will gossip .
Those who do are worth nothing mate .............there will be more that do care than you realise .
good luck with Friday and be very honest how you feel ..........not what you think they want you to say . it is hard .
things do have habit of working out though when we feel no way out . hold on . xx

[theharvestmouse]

only you know when you are ready, do not be forced back too soon, do it in steps and then it will be easier than just suddenly going back full time.

[scoob]

Thanks guys,

I have had no contact with my work about how i am recovering. I really don't feel strong enough to return yet and am struggling every day with the dreaded panic. I don't have a good relationship with my boss and have seen her force others out if it makes it easier for her. I will get through Friday first.

Thanks for the support

S