Could Panic actually be OCD?

[panicdiva]

Anyone who has read any of my threads will know that I worry about going to far from home, going on motorways, planes & trains, I worry about being trapped. However, I wonder if sometimes these fears could be a form of OCD. For instance, my fear about being trapped on an airoplane for 9 hrs is not that I'm going to crash. I fear that I am going to go crazy & try to get off the plane, this is my underlying fear - that I am going to lose it & try to open the door putting everyone on board at risk. My fear on the motorway is being trapped in a traffic jam & then losing it & doing something really risky like run over to the other side of the motorway to get out of situation & then get run over. My fear about being trapped in an elevator is that I am going to go crazy & lose control of myself & harm myself or others in an attempt to get out. The reason I hate heights is that I am terrified that I am going to lose control of myself & jump - or worse throw my kids over a balcony or whatever. If I am near water & worry that I might throw myself in or throw someone else in.

I know that I can be obsessive about things. The other night my husband was looking for his passport - it was very late at night & I had just gone to bed. I thought I knew where they were but when I looked in that place they were not there. He said it did not matter, he would look the next night for them. However, I knew that our holiday was 4wks away so I got it into my head that I HAD to find those passports immediatley. Hence, at midnight I started tearing my room apart looking for them. He was angry & said it could wait. Even though I knew he was right I HAD to find those passports right there & then. After about 15 mins I did - then I was able to go to bed. A coupld of days ago I was on a school trip ( I am a classroom assistant). I was to take a group of 7 children to another area for them to play basketball. There were hundreds of kids at this place, not just our school. The teacher gave me the list of the 7 children plus her mobile number at the school before we left. From that moment until & had to take the kids I constantly had to check that I had that list. I put it in my bag, but every minute or so HAD to check that it was still there, that I had not lost it. I do this at the airpot too with the plane tickets & passports. EVERY minute or so I check that they are still in my possession. It drives my husband & kids crazy. Last yr my friend was with us & she has commented to me that she could not believe the amount of times I checked my tickets & passports. ( I take this from my mum, that is what she was like at the airport when I was young).

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is - maybe my panic, anxiety & phobias is based on OCD? Maybe I have both? Maybe it does not matter? Then again maybe it does because in the past I have always been treated for panic & anxiety not OCD. Would this make a difference?

I would love to hear your comments.

[mum2four]

There is a form of OCD where there main fear is the fear of hurting self or other. This is the type of OCD I beleave I have I have been told am Obsessive compulsive bit not had the offical diagnoises of OCD. I will avoid people for fear of hurting them or hide in safe place for fear of hurting my self. I also tap, rock, when I get thoughts or images of hurting my self or other. I have self harmed in past but my fear of cutting to deap got the better of me and stop about 5 years ago but my other issues got worse.

I got threw a range of behaviours to avoid running but in the end I would run and when I ran I would be to scared to stop for fear of walking my self in front of a car or stopping in the middle of the road or punching someone or worse if thay said the wrong thing to me. I have never hurt anyone since I was kid and even then I was defending my self most of the time from my sister and I could never do anything more than bite or scratch. I have been asulted 2 times when I was in my teens and both times I could barly defend my self ofor fear that my punch would land the person in hospital and then me in jail and then I would go insane or kill my self. I have only ever thrown 2 things in my adult life and both sent me crazy with anger at my self for giving in the thought and having to plan it to be safe before I could throw it. I have only lost the plot and pushed things over about 3 time and when I did I had to plan it the things I pushed over wherr things thay would have less chance of bracking like chairs ect. Then I alway end up pacing back and forth getting angry at my self for being so angry despite what eva set me off.

I'm 29y and left home at 16y I have 4kids and partner who I have been with for 13y and life has not been easy at all. The fear of hurting my self or other getting in the way of me getting a job or driving a car or having friends. I beleave friend cause my issues but I know the issues ae in my head now and it not the friend but instead my fear of hurting them emotionally of physically that gets in the way I push people away when teh fear kicks in to bad. I sabortage relationship to avoid losing control over them. I'm trying so hard to not do it these days but I find it hard really hard.

I dont drive for fear of losing control of the car and killing some one and losing my mind or worse. I cant make my self get a job for fear of debating with my boss and having a panic atack and running out getting fired.

The worst fear I had ans still have a little of is the fear that i will some how sexually abuse my kids or other peoples kids with out knowing I did the wrong thing or with out being able to control my self or something. I will get flash images of doing bad things to kids that use to make me react in a way to insure I could not do it. I hate seeing kids naked I cant stand letting my kids be naked to long I change nappies in record time lol. I think my fear of being seen to inaporprite with my kids even stopped me from hugging them as miuch as I want to. I feel bad if I let the snuggle me for long ect. The worst part is the flash backs or the intence flashe images that use to have with my kids. I would get flash backs during intermate times with partner that make me feel like I cant be with my partner for fear that I turned on by the images rather than him.

I also get a fear of hurting kids or people like your the fear I may push people over balconys or bridges. I use to get intence image of slapping my kids so hard that would makle me hide in my room. I would get intence inmages of throw the dishes and hitting the kids and knocking the kids out or stabing them when I held a knife. Much more the med's I'm on now have reduce the intencity of the images and the responce I had to them as well. The fear I had aboutcoming clean about my fears and images was so over the top as soon as told the Dr every thing he gave me meds and dod not lock me up in a padded cell like I feared.

[MadKad]

You may think I am lieing here but I read over all that you have said and would like to say I suffer with MY O.C.D. the same as you all the same kind of thoughts in all the same ways.

I have gone woirs in the last 4+ months, I have sofferd with O.C.D. for as long as I can remember.

You are not alowen on this, I feel like i am going crazy every day, I have a 14 month old son that I dont think I could look after as good as I could but I no I am over the top, making.

I am not going to go into all of mine as I truthly can say you have said lots of my worrys, but like you your list is probably that long you couldnt type them all like mine, in fact you probably dont even relize most of the things you do are obsessive like me, I get people pointing things out to me, lol and that doesnt help me it just makes me woirs.

Sorry for my spelling

EDIT: I didnt see that these where to posts I thought the were the same post, so well that makes me more mad then [Sigh...]

[darkangel]

hi panicdiva

just read your post and thought god i am a bit like that too. I am always checking and writing things down then tick them off and check ive ticked them off.

things needs to done at a certain time, meals eaten at a certain time, things placed in a certain way.

if i am going somewhere, i visualise the journey and think everything through. where to park, etc and how long i will be away from home.

also if something comes in the mail that needs filled in, a form or something - i stop everything i am doing - I must fill it in and post it off straight away.

I think I am just a bit obsessive but DON'T consider myself to have OCD - it is only another LABEL, another thing to worry about. Unless it causes you due distress then just put it down to anxiety.

Of all the fears you mentioned - how many times have you felt like this and nothing has happened. We always fear the What ifs.

If you really are concerned then speak it over with you doctor but your mind is probably racing into other thoughts as you are preparing for your holiday - try not to add to many other doubts about OCD, etc.

Take care panicdiva

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[panicdiva]

I hear you Darkangle, & I know you are right. I know that OCD, panic, agorophobia, claustraphobia, health anxiety, social phobia, the lot, are all under the same umbrella, so anxiety is anxiety no matter which way you slice it. However, my point is that sometimes the angle in which we approach things can make a difference. For instance, surely when having CBT treatment, they base it on your particular type of anxiety. The approach, while the basis must be the same, it must change slightly depending on the specific problem. The point I am trying to make (not so well I think) is that maybe I have been looking at this from the wrong angle. I'm not overly worried about it, just curious.

As you know I have been getting reiki healing & hypnotherapy which have been helping quite alot. However, although I am feeling fairly positive, I suppose that trying to analyse it too much will not help my anxiety about going on holiday in just over 3 wks time. This is a time to not think about these things.

Anyway, thanks for everyone's comments.

[darkangel]

hi panicdiva

You are right these diagnosises probably do all come under the same umbrella of anxiety disorder.

I think (and I am only thinking) that if you are receiving CBT from a professional then they would recognise if you have OCD or not.

I liked when you said "I suppose I am trying to analyse it too much" - a classic symptom of anxiety - in my case that is probably my biggest problem - analysing!!!

Take care and all the best

Darkangel



........life is for living not just for surviving

[Louisey]

Hi Panic Diva,
I have had very similar unwanted thoughts about plane travel. Originally it was just my usual fear - that I'd need the bathroom and wouldn't be able to control myself (in this case during take off or something) - but it turned into this unwanted fear/thouht that I would try and open the door while we were midair.
My panic attacks are all triggered by obsessive, recurring thoughtsthat I associate with situations, I've to no doubt OCD and panic attacks are linked.

[freakedout]

Hi,

I read a book recently by Professor Isaac Marks, about fears phobias and panic. It is a thick book explaining how fear develops etc... I didnt read that bit bur read the chapters on agoraphobia, panic disorder, phobias, ocd etc. There were some interesting facts and results of studies into these disorders, and there can be overlap of ocd with panic disorder and agoraphobia.

My main problem is panic disorder with agoraphobia. I am now able to do more than I could 12 months ago however I rely heavily on company whenever I go out. I find that that when I have high anxiety I start obsessing, I obsess about germs and contamination mainly resulting in inappropriate handwashing. I know that I do it inappropriately but if I was to refrain my head would explode with the anxiety and obsessive thoughts.

I also check obsessively, I write things down over and over and keep checking (lists of bills etc) and My husband has to lock up at night because I cannot settle otherwise. These obsessive blips are not my main problem and I do not think that they are at all severe but I found it interesting to read that there is overlap of symptoms in many people.

Worth a read if you can get hold of the book.

Sorry to waffle on!
Freaky