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phil06
13-12-11, 21:48
Over the last few months I've pretty much got over the agoraphobia issues I had earlier in the year. However my issues are family stress, friendships, lack of a love life.

Basically it's stepped up a gear near xmas the other night I never got a wink of sleep basically stressing over why things that were good in my life went wrong in the past. It just feels like it's getting on top of me. Facebook has really been stressing me too. On the radio I heard a guy quoting saying his life was great as he now had really positive people around him this is what I strive for. I've had positive people around me who when I had a bad day cheered me up, I was light hearted about things.

These days I feel I'm fighting my own battle alone, surprised if anybody ever agrees with me and my confidence is low. I don't suffer much from panic attacks at the moment however I get worked up due to stresses and get racing thoughts. Sometimes it gets that bad I feel crazy.

I don't know what will help fed up hearing "it will get better" because it's been so on going. I try daily to make new friends, meet nice women but it's very hard. I've learned to accept my job at the moment as there's very few out there. Sometimes it feels the world is against you..I am often prone to trying too hard. I feel after trying and trying you run out of steam I know many people in there 20's end up giving up trying so hard as they feel it's not working. I do believe and fate and destiney but don't see much at the moment. In the past it has fit into place but these days it feels nothing ever does.

To add my anxiety manifests around smaller issues. I have a massive fear of going to the dentist over this plack built up, have alot of OCD I mean I fear everything will contaminate me..I don't want to sound negative as agoraphobia was much worse the way it controlled me everybody seen it when I said no to going out but now I don't but I come home from work with this burden of thoughts, problems, issues. At the moment I don't see a way out of it...my target is to tackle small issues in the new year again. I have a list of small things I can look to change like better healthier diet to improve anxiety and try to stop my sleep issues. I am trying to stop myself staying up to 3am each night.

Now when I have issues with friends I sit just getting angry. I know it would be easy to unwind in a DVD or music but instead I get angry and soon after the heavy anxiety symptoms start and can last days. I have to many problems and not enough solutions in my life..probably I can't change everything in a day. I guess it's hard to ask when it will improve as everybody is different. I find it's hard to meet positive people anybody else find that? I don't feel easy talking about my condition with others makes me feel worse my best cure is really outgoing people to take my mind off these issues.

Obviously it's chin up New year but as I say each year I hope it's not same old next year. :unsure:

theharvestmouse
13-12-11, 21:57
This could have been written by myself Phil.

I completely understand where you're coming from. I struggle as well, and I've hit a brick wall, I've run out of energy and motivation for the time being, having used up so much in trying to meet people and do new things and its just not worked out.

I get angry as well, frustration at things not working out, I'm scared that I will get so worked up sometime that I'll do something stupid.

Deep down I just keep saying to myself "never give up" and it helps me to keep going. But sometimes I do feel like its the last roll of the dice and if things don't improve then I will have reached the end.

I think we just have to take things one day at a time, and not expect everything to change quickly.

evil monkey
14-12-11, 17:30
quite a lot of http://oi42.tinypic.com/nwlhjt.jpg....a lot I try to figure out why it hasn't worked and what I need to change. cuz ppl say 'go out', but I figure if it hasn't worked so far, there's a reason for that, and doing the same thing again isn't going to do it. i'm quite pee'd off that all the important things I've learnt so far weren't from the places they were supposed to come from. I think some psych people are too busy wanting to write their book tho.