were some of us destined to get anxiety problems?

[theharvestmouse]

Many of us will have searched long and hard into our past, especially if the cause of our anxiety is not an obvious one, like a major event or shock that triggered it.

I myself have spent endless hours asking myself why I got anxiety and when were the signs first there, it ends up being very confusing. When does shyness as a child then become anxiety? Were the times in my childhood when I felt incredibly shy a sign that all was not well for the future.


In my case I look back at some of the past decisions I made as a teenager and later on and know that they were influenced by feeling extremely shy, especially around girls. In other areas I was fine, had lots of friends, was popular, played sports, and knowing that girls liked me did make me feel good. At that stage in life I just felt that was enough and that when I was a bit older I would meet someone, but it just never worked out like that. Each passing year seemed to add a weight to the pressure of still being single.

I managed to carry on a normal life up until my early 20's, going away to university built up my confidence and finally managing to feel capable of talking to women without feeling ill at ease. Meeting girls in nightclubs, but it usually involved drinking and I never met anyone serious through that. However again I have to question why I never took more opportunities. This has plagued my life really.

But only a year or so after feeling like I was finally getting there (this was before I had ever known about my anxiety issues) everything started to change. This was the start of the next period in my life that was to bring the darkest days and a chapter that I feel like I am still being held in despite my best efforts to move on.

What's important I know is to look forward but as we all know on here we often wonder why us?

I just wondered if anyone else ever feels like they were just a 'type' of person that was susceptible to getting anxiety/depression? Also if they ever have thought that looking back that there were early signs?

I know we can't change the past and there is no point looking back but surely its human nature to wonder why things happen to us.

[william wallace]

Could be hereditory? In my case I know it is, my older sister, younger brother and mother have all had problems with depression/anxiety. On my mothers side there are lots of relatives in the US and apparently a high percentage of them have problems. My mothers mum, (my gran) was said to be "highly strung".
I have another sister who thinks she's the lucky one because she's never had any problems "that way". She's so off her trolly that she does'nt even realise she's
completely bonkers:D

One good thing though, is that there is no history of violence, suicide or self-harm. Got to be thankfull for small mercies eh!

[puglove]

Hi Harvestmouse,

Thinking back, I was a very shy child to the point that all through junior school I remember consistently being told off for not asking the teacher when I needed help. I would sit there and struggle on and if I couldnt do it I would just keep quiet. I also remember my mum being frustrated with me as I would never talk about things or cry. For example, when I was 10 I witnessed a bad accident in school where a little boy died and had to go to court as a witness etc it tooks me weeks and weeks before I got upset about it :shrug:

Things seemed to get abit better and I grew in confidence as I got older but still remember talking to a friend and genuinely telling them something was wrong with my heart as it had pounded and hurt for a long time on and off and I would wake up in the night very occasionally not being able to breathe.

On the whole though I have spent the last few years feeling fine and finishing Uni/working etc it is just these last few months I am regularly having problems. I hadnt even thought about when I was a child really and little episodes in the past until this week. But looking back, I was definately a shy/maybe anxious child, seemed to grow out of and grew into what some would say quite a confident adult (even though ive never felt it).

Now though I realise i`m very good at my default answer being "yes im fine, everythings fine" with a massive smile, even through some pretty traumatic stuff. I`m still no good at talking to family or friends about things and I suppose for some people when you do that and refuse to give in to bad feelings, the body has a way of forcing you into it. Well thats what I feel at the moment anyway. :)

Interesting post though

x

[MakeChanges]

As adults, unless we are suffering some kind of illness we are in control of the sort of person we turn out to be. So many people don't want to accept that responsibility though and they get locked into the Victim Syndrome was of looking at things.
Its good to ask whether we would like us if we were someone else......and if not, then make changes! Its down to us at the end of the day....ONwards and Upwards!