theharvestmouse
14-12-11, 11:05
Many of us will have searched long and hard into our past, especially if the cause of our anxiety is not an obvious one, like a major event or shock that triggered it.
I myself have spent endless hours asking myself why I got anxiety and when were the signs first there, it ends up being very confusing. When does shyness as a child then become anxiety? Were the times in my childhood when I felt incredibly shy a sign that all was not well for the future.
In my case I look back at some of the past decisions I made as a teenager and later on and know that they were influenced by feeling extremely shy, especially around girls. In other areas I was fine, had lots of friends, was popular, played sports, and knowing that girls liked me did make me feel good. At that stage in life I just felt that was enough and that when I was a bit older I would meet someone, but it just never worked out like that. Each passing year seemed to add a weight to the pressure of still being single.
I managed to carry on a normal life up until my early 20's, going away to university built up my confidence and finally managing to feel capable of talking to women without feeling ill at ease. Meeting girls in nightclubs, but it usually involved drinking and I never met anyone serious through that. However again I have to question why I never took more opportunities. This has plagued my life really.
But only a year or so after feeling like I was finally getting there (this was before I had ever known about my anxiety issues) everything started to change. This was the start of the next period in my life that was to bring the darkest days and a chapter that I feel like I am still being held in despite my best efforts to move on.
What's important I know is to look forward but as we all know on here we often wonder why us?
I just wondered if anyone else ever feels like they were just a 'type' of person that was susceptible to getting anxiety/depression? Also if they ever have thought that looking back that there were early signs?
I know we can't change the past and there is no point looking back but surely its human nature to wonder why things happen to us.
I myself have spent endless hours asking myself why I got anxiety and when were the signs first there, it ends up being very confusing. When does shyness as a child then become anxiety? Were the times in my childhood when I felt incredibly shy a sign that all was not well for the future.
In my case I look back at some of the past decisions I made as a teenager and later on and know that they were influenced by feeling extremely shy, especially around girls. In other areas I was fine, had lots of friends, was popular, played sports, and knowing that girls liked me did make me feel good. At that stage in life I just felt that was enough and that when I was a bit older I would meet someone, but it just never worked out like that. Each passing year seemed to add a weight to the pressure of still being single.
I managed to carry on a normal life up until my early 20's, going away to university built up my confidence and finally managing to feel capable of talking to women without feeling ill at ease. Meeting girls in nightclubs, but it usually involved drinking and I never met anyone serious through that. However again I have to question why I never took more opportunities. This has plagued my life really.
But only a year or so after feeling like I was finally getting there (this was before I had ever known about my anxiety issues) everything started to change. This was the start of the next period in my life that was to bring the darkest days and a chapter that I feel like I am still being held in despite my best efforts to move on.
What's important I know is to look forward but as we all know on here we often wonder why us?
I just wondered if anyone else ever feels like they were just a 'type' of person that was susceptible to getting anxiety/depression? Also if they ever have thought that looking back that there were early signs?
I know we can't change the past and there is no point looking back but surely its human nature to wonder why things happen to us.