muscles68
16-12-11, 21:37
Hi m muscles68 m 43
i am a sufferer of fibromyalgia, anxiety, panic and depression.
Since was a chlld ive had depression anxiety problems but some how wth one pill or another i muddled through, at 17 yrs old i tried to kll myself twice ended up n a phyc ward for a while, there was very little help back then, anyway had crap up bringing my dad was a drunk and any excuse to hit me he would, my brother was favored, when i was 13 my dad went blind and caught meningitis it left him totally crippled but he lived. Shortly after my mother had caner of the thiriod, so at 13 i missed school a lot to work on a farm and look after my lil brother etc.
Afew years later my brother had a bad bike accident and crushed his spine,
he has never been able to walk unaided since he was only seventeen at the time, it happened just down the rd from where we lived, was there shortly after i thought he was dead. anyway thats a brief rundown of my life growing up.
This brings me to now, ive been married twice and have 5 lovely kids 3 from my first and 2 on my second.
i had always been fairly active and i enjoyed bodybuilding a lot it seemed to carm my anxiety. i had my own pc repair business and life seemed great, untill 6 yrs ago i started to get really tired and id hurt all over, like reall bad flu, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. and given amytriptoline which for the next 4 years seemed to help.
But then two years ago i got real bad flu it wiped me out totaly and at the same time somehow i messed my back up. i suddenly found myself in hostpital, after coming out i never got my strength back and im now disabled as walking without a stick is not possible, i lost my business and we had to move to a bungalow, which is nice, been here a year now but its been the worst year of my lfe, shortly before moving here i got a bad stomach bug, to the extent thought i was having a hart attack, turned out to be a bug, but my stomach has not been right since i go to the docs they just give oprazol wich makes me feel crap and does nothing. take gaviscon it kinda helps. problem is i get bloated but i dont really get burning anymore but i have constant watery mouth and swallowing all the time, my appitite is good im never sick or anything. but with all this and being disabled to im a mess, i cry most days some times in private sometimes with the wife who dosent understand but shes an angel to me, I couldnt put up with me.
She thinks its stress im only on 10mg of amytriptoline because im so paranoid of pills etc, I suffer terble from paranoid with stuff like drugs etc. I wake every day worried im gona die with the tight preasure feelngs in my stomach etc, on top of my fibro, then just latly im so low i dont care if i die maybe id be happy and not a burden.
At the docs i feel like just a number they dont listen, Im so desperate
I dont understand how i can feel so crap. can live with my fibro even my messed up head sometimes, but this stomach thing is driving me insane.
Sorry to ramble on but im not done this before im a proud man and i feel like nothing. I so long to be happy and run with my kids again etc
Sorry if ive posted in the wrong place.
As you can see i need to here other people do suffer this
Thank you and sorry
i am a sufferer of fibromyalgia, anxiety, panic and depression.
Since was a chlld ive had depression anxiety problems but some how wth one pill or another i muddled through, at 17 yrs old i tried to kll myself twice ended up n a phyc ward for a while, there was very little help back then, anyway had crap up bringing my dad was a drunk and any excuse to hit me he would, my brother was favored, when i was 13 my dad went blind and caught meningitis it left him totally crippled but he lived. Shortly after my mother had caner of the thiriod, so at 13 i missed school a lot to work on a farm and look after my lil brother etc.
Afew years later my brother had a bad bike accident and crushed his spine,
he has never been able to walk unaided since he was only seventeen at the time, it happened just down the rd from where we lived, was there shortly after i thought he was dead. anyway thats a brief rundown of my life growing up.
This brings me to now, ive been married twice and have 5 lovely kids 3 from my first and 2 on my second.
i had always been fairly active and i enjoyed bodybuilding a lot it seemed to carm my anxiety. i had my own pc repair business and life seemed great, untill 6 yrs ago i started to get really tired and id hurt all over, like reall bad flu, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. and given amytriptoline which for the next 4 years seemed to help.
But then two years ago i got real bad flu it wiped me out totaly and at the same time somehow i messed my back up. i suddenly found myself in hostpital, after coming out i never got my strength back and im now disabled as walking without a stick is not possible, i lost my business and we had to move to a bungalow, which is nice, been here a year now but its been the worst year of my lfe, shortly before moving here i got a bad stomach bug, to the extent thought i was having a hart attack, turned out to be a bug, but my stomach has not been right since i go to the docs they just give oprazol wich makes me feel crap and does nothing. take gaviscon it kinda helps. problem is i get bloated but i dont really get burning anymore but i have constant watery mouth and swallowing all the time, my appitite is good im never sick or anything. but with all this and being disabled to im a mess, i cry most days some times in private sometimes with the wife who dosent understand but shes an angel to me, I couldnt put up with me.
She thinks its stress im only on 10mg of amytriptoline because im so paranoid of pills etc, I suffer terble from paranoid with stuff like drugs etc. I wake every day worried im gona die with the tight preasure feelngs in my stomach etc, on top of my fibro, then just latly im so low i dont care if i die maybe id be happy and not a burden.
At the docs i feel like just a number they dont listen, Im so desperate
I dont understand how i can feel so crap. can live with my fibro even my messed up head sometimes, but this stomach thing is driving me insane.
Sorry to ramble on but im not done this before im a proud man and i feel like nothing. I so long to be happy and run with my kids again etc
Sorry if ive posted in the wrong place.
As you can see i need to here other people do suffer this
Thank you and sorry