I don't care about christmas. Why can't people understand this!?

[theharvestmouse]

call me a scrooge but what I am going through makes christmas seem so unimportant and its adding to my general overall unhappyness in my life. Seeing everyone else happy, families, and couples everywhere, buying presents and laughing. Friends having parties, people having fun.

While I am going through hell to just keep going and not give up hope. Is it so wrong to want to just hide away until its over. I want to start doing things in the new year but until then I can't do much to change my life.

Seeing the same relatives every year and still being single is crushing me inside. It makes me feel humiliated and so unhappy. Thats when the suicidal thoughts get worse.

I also have thoughts of just shouting at everyone, saying I am mentally ill, thats why I don't have a girlfriend and why I have been struggling for the past 8 years. That being here is an effort, that I've thought about ending it all. That I can no longer put on a brave face, that inside I'm tormented by the past and whats happening to me. Feeling that what I want in life is so out of reach and that seeing others who are content is like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Sorry this is a ramble but I just need to get these feelings out.

:mad::lac::mad::lac::mad::weep::weep::weep::weep:: weep::wacko::wacko::wacko::blush::blush:

[Lilyblue]

Hi, i'll be glad when its over. I do like xmas but with anxiety it sucks, have to be drugged up just to visit family.

[goldilockz]

Trust me, there are LOADS of people who hate Christmas. I was talking to my mum about this the other day as she hasn't put up any decorations this year. My boyfriend hates it too and to me, it's just another day. No one really likes Christmas for it's real purpose nowadays, it's just focused on presents, consumerism, TV, pigging out. Don't worry about it, it'll soon be over and you could probably bet that half the people you see and are envious of are also dreading it.

[Lilyblue]

Xmas is just like a sunday, plus it on a sunday. I will be my 3rd xmas where I had to take diazepam. I hate new year too, people trying to force me to go out, but I prefer sitting at home watching jools holland, but last year I was in bed at 6pm cos anxiety was sky high, me mum was out of the country so was on own. Might do same again this year, i'd rather she stay at home as hate being on own

[evil monkey]

I think a lot of people feel like this and not only at christmas. I think whenever most people are doing something (going out on a nice day having a picnic) the people who aren't or can't do that have the same. Xmas is particularly intense occasion :blink:

[theharvestmouse]

People don't get it, I just want to stay in and watch tv and not get drunk, yet people say are you going out New Years eve, why should I?

Anxiety doesn't suddenly stop because its christmas or new years eve, its just another day but in some ways more difficult than being at work.

Glad other people feel the same on here though.

[william wallace]

Bah Humbug:D

[Tero]

Do as much as you can, refuse drink if you do not want it.

I am an atheist, I still put up with christmas. I even put out lights on the house and the star (no angels) on the tree.

It is a bit of a rough time. I would spend some time outside, maybe walking, in daylight hours. It cheers me up a bit. Stay home most nights.

[Steve37]

Unless you have kids, Christmas doesn't seem to be a big deal.

[sickandtired]

im not looking forward to Xmas to be honest,and i have always loved Xmas,but i will put on a brave face.....i have to.....i have 3 kids......i just hope my youngest doesnt see my 'fake smile'
will make it up to them next year.......hope im better by next year!

[fishman65]

Hi theharvestmouse,these kinds of feelings are to be expected over the xmas period because of what xmas entails.Meeting family,pre-arranged visits and an expectation to conform to social situations...all these make us feel worse and especially when we are supposed to be laughing and merrymaking simply because its xmas and this is what people assume we are feeling.

However,a great many (a lot of them non-anxiety sufferers too),find xmas a huge headache and are just glad when its all over.I know this fact might not make you feel better about your own situation,but perhaps you may not feel so alone at this time of year,especially as it's generally not a good time for us anxiety/panic sufferers either.

[Magic]

I agree to what most of you say. Chistmas is mostly for children.
When my girls were small I was fine with it. We have one grandchild 3years old and we are making an effort for her now as it will mean more to her this year.
All the toys will be coming to our house Christmas eve.
I will be mostly in the kitchen ALL DAY. So I will miss a lot of whats going on.
Hubby will be on the phone all mornng ringing his relations we never see.
I do my phone calls before--like to night for instance. 3 in all.
We could have had our christmas dinner at the care home my older daghter is resident, but she does not want us there,and she does not want to come to us as she is very unwell at the momnent and she is constantly on my mind.
We will all be going to see her the three days over Chritmas and taking pressies ( am ) if all goes to plan and the weather is ok.
We are all hoping she will be well enough for me to take her to see Stoke play on Boxing day (football).
Roll on Jan 2nd back to normal
Take care everyone
Lots love to all xx

[c700]

I understand how you feel my anxiety is sky high this time of year and I really struggle to cope. It seems like you are forced to be happy but I end up feeling the other way. I suffer from health anxiety and worry at christmas there won't be any doctors.
We have to think it is just another day and let it pass for another year.
Take care xx

[robinbrum]

It's ironic but Christmas is one of the worst times of year for people suffering from anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. It's almost compulsory to be happy no matter how crap you feel inside. I only comfort myself with the fact that it will soon be over. But the next couple of days are going to be madness with pushing and shoving in overcrowded shops and sitting in traffic jams...who needs it??
Merry Christmas:D

[theharvestmouse]

the sad thing is that I actually like this time of year and christmas but its my life I am not happy with and at this time of year its so family orientated that it really brings the feelings of how unhappy I am to the forefront.

[robinbrum]

Yeah, I totally understand because I have many happy memories of Christmas from my past and that's what makes it so much harder to get through every year.

[Deb51967]

Hiya I am new here, but feel the same way...

You know the feeling of being alone in a crowded room.....

I don't want to do Christmas... my tree was up on Friday, but wasn't decorated till Tuesday of this week.........

Making Lasagne for Christmas dinner this year..... My daughter said "If I can't cook a turkey once a f****** year... then there is a problem"

She is 24, still lives at home... and yes... there is a problem....

[robinbrum]

Maybe your daughter could cook the Christmas dinner then? Just a thought.
I'm doing turkey but I would be happy to have something else for a change.