View Full Version : I want to cry...
I'm sorry for posting this but our boiler just made a creak sound lie "zzzzzzz" over and over 3 times. never done this before- mum said she heard it this morning to.
I am so scared again- I just got over my Carbon Minoixde fear. Today is turning out to be a horrible horrible day and i just want it to end.
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Like metal scratching together and scraping
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Its not constant this is the 1st time ive heard it for 3 hours. I googled and maybe its the fan but wouldnt that be constant noise. This is all i needed to be totally honest. I cant but a carbon monixide decterot till after xmas as no money but if i get one my parents will shout and scream at me.
Dnvgraphics2k12
18-12-11, 14:24
Hi, Emma
Boilers make funny sounds all the time my sisters one does you would thinks theres a plane in the cupboard so don't worry plus they have to be safe it would have been check by a gas safe registered person before it could even be used :) so stop panicking pm if you like :)
Cameron xx
Thank you Cameron.
It only scared me as id never heard of it before.
I jumped out my seat immeditatly and made my jump haha
:)
It was like you have a chunk of metal that was being scraped down wood or something.
Dnvgraphics2k12
18-12-11, 14:33
Thats ok Emma :) like i said my sisters one sounds like a plane is taking of scares the crap out of me ha-ha :)
xxx
Haha thanks. Its not contant though. Only happened twice today and never before.
New things scare me and it just shook my already anxious mind :) x
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It just made a smaller sound like that but quiter. grr wish it would shut up.
It could just be something cooling down or heating up, metal can make odd sounds especially in the winter.
Thanks. What ever it is proberly nothing to worry over (still cant help it though)
it was just new and it sparked an attack on me :)
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Its making the noise again now. Its so loud i can hear it out here in the other room. i hear bangs and the gridning sound. :'( I am so cold today though.
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it seems to happen about once every 3 hours or so for aabout 10 seconds. i did just change the thermostat to a higher temp though.
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my mum just told me it did it once last year and didnt after that ever again.
weve had a service this year. but she doesnt understand about carbon monxide. i am sitting here praying that i can live to see my nan one more time
Why don't you just ask your Mum if it the carbon monoxide reading was checked when the boiler was serviced ? (I bet it was ) Then you can finally lay this fear to rest.
I assume it was but that does that mean it can not break in the winter and happen. (she doesnt even know what carbon monoxide is)
She said she would keep an eye on the sounds and if it doesnt stop she would phone the enigenner
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she did say she thinks the bit that was making the noise was replaced so she doesnt know why.
I am visibly shaking and dont know how to stop my self shaking.
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another thing about cm is gas ovens. the rings are never bright blue but yellow flickers all the time which is a sign of cm aswell.
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I have not felt so panciked like this for ges. im stuggling to tupe this through shaking a nd hyperventalting :'( it s just to much to take.
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I spoke to my aunt on FB and she doesnt know what it is
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I keep looking at my mum and asking if she feels normal. if she feels ill i will get scared. time is going so slow today.
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proberly coincendce but an ad on youtube just popped telling me to get a new boiler?!
theharvestmouse
18-12-11, 18:27
no offence Emma, but I must have mentioned 2 or 3 times to you about buying a carbon monoxide detector.
http://www.lloydspharmacy.com/en/carbon-monoxide-alarm-35503%3Futm_source%3DGoogle%26utm_medium%3DProduct %26utm_campaign%3DProduct?gclid=CLCbjMafjK0CFUQMfA odtl1Fng
They only cost £10, its well worth buying one to stop you feeling anxious about it.
The problem is my mum hits me for the near mention of CM. so what if i get an alarm and hide it in my room and it goes off.
Sorry. If anyone lived with my mum you would understand and the only person who does is me :(
theharvestmouse
18-12-11, 18:31
If it goes off then you will be saving their lives, so why would they be angry?
I know but this is the women who chucked me out the car in the middle of no were when i was 7.
Its such a long story and it would have to be in person but all i can say is they would.
theharvestmouse
18-12-11, 18:36
Ok then I think you should try to get away from your parents as they sound horrible from what you have said on other posts. If thats how they treat you then its completely wrong and you should seek help.
This is why am i desperarly seeking employment and cant seem to get anywere. I have family but none that i can move in with as my parents act perfect infront of them.
I spent two days at my nans and felt brilliant. now i feel lie utter **** and it always happens when i come home.
nicola1980
18-12-11, 18:46
Hey hun, i really feel for you having to put up with that from your parents, it makes me feel very fortunate to have such caring parents that even tho im 31 with my own child i often go and stay at there house with them when my anxiety and panics are bad as its my 'safe' place, could you not go and live with your nan? im sure if u explained to her she would let u? xx
Shes my Dads mum and she thinks nothing wrong of her son. Fair enough. his fine just s "man" who doesnt feel emtions really and never really listens to me. I can stay once a week but i could never move in unless something happened to my parents. :)
x
My mum claims there no such thing as anxiety but then tells her doc how she is anxious ben will never get better- his got severe mental illness and you can see he has with me its hidden.
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Even if i was to pass away i couldnt rest known the heart break it would cause my Nan if she lost me/brother/dad.
nicola1980
18-12-11, 18:58
maybe they just don't understand how your feeling, my doc actually said to me that men find mental illness hard? i know my dads found it hard and upsetting seeing me the way ive been recently.............he doesn't show it but now im getting better i can see it and see how much ive worried everyone :weep: xx
They don't even know i feel this way anymore as i gave up after all the "silly little girl" commments. Its not visisble to anyone on the outside
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=106175 this explains a bit what my dad is like.
nicola1980
18-12-11, 19:08
I didn't think my anxiety was visible on the outside but it was to the ones close to me xx
Its not even obvious to them at all and it hurts a lot but what can i do.
If i die this winter from CM then what can i do
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i think i might just go to bed. im exhausted now lol
evil monkey
19-12-11, 01:26
Could be a fan or something like that or just air going thro a pipe
When you hear it, can you notice the panel where the zz comes from ? stick a blob of blutack on it or sellotape a bit of rubber onto where the zz is coming from, might lessen it.
Thank you.
Spoke to my aunt she has no idea.
Mind is telling me its OK
but heart is still telling me "no we will die"
- our gas fire is not a pure bright blue ring.we get lots of flickers of yellow. another sign of CM poisoing- my mind is going crazy.
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I spent my morning in tears over it. Im at my aunts now and dreading going home :'(
:hugs:hi, im really sorry that the noises from the boiler have triggered your anxiety again - but i think you are anxious because of the way your family is with you - but you know that already - without this stress you prob wouldnt be anxious? i have been isolated with my anxiety since my mum died in 1993, so i know exactly how you feel coz no-one has helped me since. so wat can you do? help yourself - its the only way - you have to build your own confidence and self-esteem. you deal with this alone that makes you very strong and so you should be proud of yourself - you are trying and trying to find a way out, and you dealt with you cm fear before, so you can do it again - if your folks cant be your friends coz they are incapable then be your own friend and seek ppl out who can be friends too - take comfort that you do have your nan and aunty, but try to talk to them about normal/general things as it will only upset you and frustrate you more wen they look at you blankly. i have my anx under control now thru meds and i can see how weird some of my irrational fears would have seemed to others - not that the fear of cm is irrational - thats wat makes this situation more frustrating to me coz it isnt something other ppl get freaked out about - they just buy the detector, its the same as a smoke alarm - so i think yur mum is totally out of order and you should keep reminding yourself of this - i know that you shouldnt give into irrational fears but this one is just sensible.
anyway like ive said before focus on you and if it helps to know one person does feel for you and wishes you all the luck and happiness in the world - sounds like you deserve it big time x:hugs:
Aww thank you. It helps that someone does understand how i feel.
My aunt came over and she doesnt think its Carbon minoxide but doesnt know what it is.
Can i ask how i can get over the fear though and how i can rationalse this one as i just cant think of a way.
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Im litreally sitting here shaking its so silly:roflmao:
I just think why did it have to make the sound.
I can say now if my parents were supportive it would cut my anxiety in half
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i am so so so so so scared of dying its unbeleivable and i want out of this house right this second as i spend my life crying up the stairs.
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I just can not do it anymore. The thread has snapped and I'm at my breaking point now. I feel like screaming my lungs out until there is no air left. :'(
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i can feel my heart beating out my chest. my breathing is erratic and i feel like im going to black out any second now.
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its just be tured on now and the tension inside me is unbelaivble. i keep twitching violently.
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its making a scratching noise today. mum scrremaed in my face to shut up and when i talk to dad he wont reply to me.
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its making the loud scrathing noise again now. this is going to drive me INSANE!!!!!
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she just got up and nearly slapped me in face when i told her im scared for our lives tonight. her hand was just about to touch me before it did. I CANt cope anymore. the lump in my throat just appeared and i cant stop crying.
she told me im making things diffucult and to just shut up about everything and not to speak to her again until i can learn to act like an adult :(
and my mum just told my dad "can you shut her up, shes acting like shes going to die"
william wallace
19-12-11, 19:50
Emma.
I thought someone would have told you this by now. The creaking noise is the sound of the metal pipes expanding. When boiling water goes through the pipes, the pipes move slightly and rub on the floorboards. This makes a creaking, rubbing noise.
There is really really really nothing to worry about. You said yourself that the gas engineer has checked and passed it. That fellow trained for five long years to be qualified to do that so you have to trust him.
Now go slap your mother:D
http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/57572_Fatkidslapsmom.gif
Thanks haha.
Its not a creaking sound though and has never happend before. once last year and started yesterday. Its a very loud sound and its like a proppelor on a helicopter going +chalk being scratched on a chalkboard and scratching.
I can't begin to explain how much i need the support from my mum. x
william wallace
19-12-11, 20:14
Probably best not to slap her then Emma:winks:
I wonder though, if a busload of heating engineers came to your house and spent a whole week checking every inch the heating, and every one signed an affidavit, and swore before Almighty God that your heating system was ok, would you believe them?:)
would you believe them?:smile: proberly not lol- im sorry for the panic I just havnt been this scared in a long time.
Thank you anyway :) x
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I must say though i was freezing before it was turned on.
It was just that its a new sound (i can hear it five rooms away) and its not constant.
william wallace
19-12-11, 20:22
Sounds like you need one of these:hugs:in fact, have two:hugs:
Aww thank you. :D
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one last thing. a few roads away a boiler exploded the other day. this could happen to us?
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its not a normal sound- it only started yesterday but i hate to say i know what a normal sound is like and this is not normal.
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why do fears have to change. 1st it was Cm not its it exploding.
the sound is indescriable and not normal i can assure people of that. but no one can understand unless they hear it :'( im dying this winter and some time soon and i dont know how to prepare my nan for the loss she will suffer soon
woke up at 6am after falling asleep at 2am in tears today so i got up and went for a 3 hour walk.
my fear is of the boiling exploding now.
i thought of a way to describe it better- a chainsaw thats what it sounds like
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDeNX52hTyM&feature=related like this sound here
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but with a rattling to it aswell
duke246810
20-12-11, 21:06
it's ok emma, weve talked about this :)
its going to be fine :) my boiler makes this noise to, along with scary creaking sounds which i can hear around the whole house. Calm down and try to relax :) x
Thanks.
I just can't get my head around why oh why it had to start the other day :S oh well. all i can do is try to forgot it anyway. not much else i can do x
The heating has just been put on and im in a panic again :(
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I'm getting really scared. dads falling asleep and im yawning like mad. a sign of carbon monoxide is tiredness.
william wallace
21-12-11, 20:14
It'a also a sign that you've had a long dayhttp://i42.tinypic.com/2ah6qo5.jpg
i know. i dont know why i have to assume im dying all the time:mad:
its been turned of now and i feel awake again and not really yawning now.
i really wish we had our old electic heaters like we did in the old flat we lived in lol.
oh well it didnt make the strange noise today :D
william wallace
21-12-11, 20:48
You might have stopped yawning because the heating is off and the room is a wee bit cooler:)
Electric heating costs a fortune Emma. I have electric storage heaters and they cost about £70 per week to run. Just as well I have a rich wife:D
Yes i remember my dad moaning about the price of electric heating. We always use to keep my parents/my room (i had to share with them) off and it was freezing. it was a massive room with 3 outside walls.
Thank you anyway :).
I guess it made the chainsaw noise because it was colder the other day. it was a wee bit more mild today.
Anyway im determined not to let it ruin christmas :)
william wallace
21-12-11, 22:20
Yes you have a nice Christmas Emma, and try not to worry about the boiler, there's nothing wrong with it.
http://www.wilsoninfo.com/christmasglitter1.gif
Thank you x :) and you aswell
Boiler just made a scratching noise. :( why oh why cant i let this go. all of a sudden im dying again. these sounds all started three days ago.
its not even cold today. it was 2 c out when it started now its 10 this evening.
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Up the stairs the pipes are making a HUGE racket. bang bang clonk clonk- there so loud and distracting. I swear something is wrong. its really horrible living like this but i wont get to live much longer because of this.
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one radiotor just made a scrathcing noise and there is bangs and clonks and scratches coming from everywere.
why does central heating have to be such a pain argh :'(
everytime its own i yawn a lot and im doing the same now. once its off the yawning stops
it made the scratching noise just now again :'(
last night i had the WOSRT dream ever. my nan's carbon monoxide decteror went off and then her house went up in flames because the boiler exploded.
It just made the chainsaw noise now aswell- why did this start 4 days ago.
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Oil Boilers: Shrieks or Grinding Noises
Shrieking or grinding noises in your oil burner or circulator pump indicate a serious problem -- possibly a failing bearing -- which requires service as soon as possible.
Read more: Loud Noises in Boilers | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/info_12194467_loud-noises-boilers.html#ixzz1hMmLrjWW) http://www.ehow.com/info_12194467_loud-noises-boilers.html#ixzz1hMmLrjWW
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I going to DIE from this. It is going to kill me and my family today or soon/100 per cent this winter.
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My mum and dad wont phone anyone to look at it. Im on my own and my nan is coming tommorow but i dont want her to incase the carbon monoxide happens tommorow. How do i prepare for her death/possibly mine. she could loose all of us.
please i am sitting here visibly shaking with fear and crying my eyes out :(
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I am also very hot and sweating with fear. its horrible. I can't do this all winter i really can NOT do this anymore- I've had enough of my life and i won't out of it, sometimes i don't even know why im scared to die. Id get to meet my granddad who ive never met as he died before i was born and id be out my misery.
I wake up, cry, shower, go back to bed, cry some more. that is my days at the moment. except when im forced to get up for college.
mallan82450
23-12-11, 14:27
Emma,
I have been reading this post for a while. Unfortunately there is nothing anyone can say or do to convince you that there is nothing wrong with your boiler. It is all in your mind.
Now, you have options but it's up to you which one you choose. Nobody else can make the decision for you.
1. Call the samaritans and speak to them about how you are feeling
2. Call your Dr's and ask to speak to the Crisis Team. Demand you see/speak to someone
3. Make an appointment with your Dr for after Christmas and discuss the seriousness of your anxiety; look at medication and a treatment plan.
4. You can stay at a friends for the night until you calm down and wake up finding everyone still alive.
You would absolutely, 110% be dead by now if there was anything remotely wrong with your boiler. You know this. Believe it.
Thanks,
Ive made a docs app for Jan 3rd-
And i'm also e-mailing samartians at the moment (i have been doing for a while now) just for someone that understands as my parents do not know. It just bugs me as it had never done this before.
mallan82450
23-12-11, 14:39
Good luck Emma. You can and will get better.
Take care.
Thank you. I'm very closed minded when it comes to taking medication as i'm scared that in it self will kill me. for example, ive just take a ibrufoen for period pains as there really really bad today and at the point were its giving me a headache and i feel like im going to throw up the contents of my breakfast, even taking that medicine scares me.
Happy xmas.
Medication won't kill you, and you really need to get something to help as you can't go on like this every day.
If you are that worried about the boiler, go in your room, shut the door and open the window, this will stop any chance of it happening
Thanks.
Its tortorous living like this every day- the boiler mainly makes the noise when the pilot light comes on-
I think i could live with it if it had always been like this
I keep looking at my dad to see if he looks ok.
Just wish my brain would shut up.
Im speaking to the doc on Jan 3rd x
Last time i got citolpram my mum found the medication/prescription and threw it away telling me i was never to take them again.
nicola1980
23-12-11, 18:22
Hi i agree with all the above hun, i think its time that you went to your doctor and at least have a chat to him/her about the possibility of some anti anxiety meds, you are so young and really need some professional help of some kind as you have your whole life to look forward too, by reading your threads you are obvously suffering from some sort of panic/anxiety disorder and you need help and support to help you through it :hugs: xx
Thank you Nicola.
I will defintly 100 per cent be talking to the doc about it:hugs:xx
Got a feeling like under my eye like something is there. I just go round and round in circles.
Normally realistically i know, for example, a headache wont kill me but with the boiler i'm not thinking like that and i cant explain it away. I actually think this will kill me lol:ohmy: xx
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No one can talk this fear down- I've just burst out in tears again after googling CM (and i never google!) :'(
i have to get an alarm (i cant cope anymore) but what if it goes off (my main fear is that it will go off) :'( (my parents would be so angry)
but i have no money at the moment so how do i cope before i can get one!
my dads fallen asleep siting up and his head is going everywere all over the place hitting the sofa...
Its never made this sound before! why the hell did it start. there must be something wrong :'(
I can't stop crying. I cant stop shaking. I cant stop sweating. My throat is closing up. My tummy has butterflies in. My head is hurting me.
mallan82450
23-12-11, 19:50
If we can't talk your fear down Emma, what is it that you want us to do?
What advice would you give to me if I was worrying about the same problem?
:hugs:
I don't know anymore. I'm just so confused.
With chest pains i know its muscle tension for example. same with arm pain and neck pain and shoulder pain- i know its anxiety.
I honestly think i will die from this and normally i know im over reacting and i wont but i honestly cant talk this fear down.
I feel like if it was you worrying about this i wouldnt be able to give you advice as there is no way i know how to talk this down.
It just started all of a sudden and has been fine before. if it had always been like this i could explain it away but surely something has happened to the boiler to make it make this noise.
mallan82450
23-12-11, 19:59
Is there anyone you can call or go and see now? A friend? A relative?
My only friend in the world who im drifting away from as he is changing is working till midnight. I've been told to shut up by him before if i so much as mention how i feel.
My family do not understand my anxiety (none of them) my nan thinks its silly. My aunt as lovely as she is doesnt understand either (and is on holiday) and well my parents i wont even start with them.
I have no friends and never have really- i was bullied all the way through school. called ugly by everyone, hit, spat at etc. (i dont even want to think about it) even strangers in london last month laughed at me and called me names. ive also had a women come up to me and tell me what a strange face i have.
I litreally have no one who i can talk to about anything face to face and it makes me sad. My dad is yawning like mad and drifting in and out of sleep.
Next year we arnt even due for a boiler service- my dad gets one every two years. The only way is get a dectertor somehow but if my parents find it they will get so mad at me.
mallan82450
23-12-11, 20:20
Not an ideal situation, so I think the samaritans or similar helplines maybe useful.
Your dad will be yawning because that's what Dads do :D
All I can say is look at the date you first posted about this worry and then look at the date now . . . You would have died a long time ago if you boiler was emitting CM fumes.
Take care :hugs:
5 days now. I will still fear that yes maybe it is happening now but it could happen in the future. even in my sleep it doesnt go away. last night in my dreams i was at my nans and her CM dec. went off and then the boiler exploded and caused a fire- it was horrible.
Above me i can hear bang bang bang lol- when the heating was turned of last night the pipes in my brothers room were maing the loudest noises ever and i can hear them again now or it might just be the wind outside lol.
Thank you anyway. I dont know what else to do but thank you. :hugs:
nicola1980
23-12-11, 20:41
Have you got the number for your local crisis team chick? X x
Nope. I can google it?
At the moment im e-mailing samartians :) x
nicola1980
23-12-11, 20:52
Id ring your out of hours doctor number and they will give it you x x
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E mailing is no good hun u need to actually talk to someone now x x
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We on nmp cant reassure u anymore than we have done, you need someone professional to help you now :hugs: x x
Thank you. I agree- i need help. Last time i was this bad CAHMS wouldnt see me- they told me to go to someone else who has taken over 10 months now and everytime they come up with some excuse.
This cant be good for my heart can it :S. lol x:hugs:
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Theres one more thing stressing me out.
My brother is on clozapine and has got really big (a big round belly)
his daily food intake is-
breakfast (sandwich+cereal)
lunch sandwich
3 bigs pack of sweets, another sandwich, a whole pack of grapes, 3 apples, cakes etc
and then dinner and more snacks after and i cant stop him eating. makes me worry about his heart :/
I wish wish wish he would get better. his been in hospital since april now and only home on weekends- its taking a toll on me to be honest.
I dont want reasurannce for this. Just a place to rant and say what im feeling because i have no one else to talk to really.
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I have to say this is what he eats at home 3 days a week. No clue what he eats in the hospital haha x
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Can I just say aswell i am dreading tommorow lol and christmas day and the days after that that will follow.
william wallace
23-12-11, 23:11
You can come and have Christmas dinner with me and Mrs Wallace Emma. We're having haggis, I went up the glen and shot a big one today:D
cathycrumble
23-12-11, 23:15
LOL ;)
peterjones
24-12-11, 12:17
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CARBON-MONOXIDE-DETECTOR-C02-SIMPLE-EASY-USE-2PK-/140665966777?pt=UK_Safety_Alarms&hash=item20c05850b9
I have been reading your threads for some time now. maybe this would help
lol
peter- yes i want to get one after xmas. cant do online banking. less than a pound i have and my account is not set up for online banking- the issue is my mum will have a right go at me if i get one- ive been told not to get one! for what reason i don't know.
she really annoys me.
another thing she will do is get dressed infront me me:mad:- i've told her a million times i dont feel comfatble please can you not get dressed in the kitchen when im making breakfast. her reply "you are the same sex as me whats the problem, you were born naked"
so i walk out each day she does it but she still does it.
william wallace
24-12-11, 12:31
Bring the postie in for a cuppa, that'll fix it:D
Haha. Would be ok if my dad wasnt our postman lol :D
william wallace
24-12-11, 12:45
Well the lollipop man then:D
You feeling a wee bit better today Emma?
Haha.
A little thanks, Just a mild headache obviosuly caused from worry all day yesterday. The boilers not on yet though- so don't know how i'l feel when it comes on x
william wallace
24-12-11, 12:51
Well the noise is just the pipes expanding with the heat, and it's nothing to worry about honestly. Dont let it spoil your Christmas:hugs:
Thank you. I try to beleive that but then i think why did it never do this till 6 days ago lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDeNX52hTyM&feature=related this is the sound lol.
---------- Post added at 13:39 ---------- Previous post was at 13:03 ----------
I know it sounds like i cant take advice. but if it truly was OK why would it not of done this ever before? why is it new? i cant answer those questions. I have the worst feeling something will break and cause a leakage.
I really do appreciate your help but the fact that it never done this before makes no sense to me at all and i dont think it ever will.
william wallace
24-12-11, 13:53
Perhaps you were too busy worrying about something else to notice.
Perhaps what sounds like a chainsaw to you sounds like a sewing machine to others.
Perhaps your anxiety is blowing it all out of proportion.
Perhaps I'm having a perhaps day, perhaps:D
perhaps lol.
It was defintly six days ago it started though- no one had heard it before that but it only worries me. But what can i do? nothing so i just have to live (hopefully) with it.
x:D
william wallace
24-12-11, 14:29
There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.
Someone called Seneca said that about 2000 years ago, after his boiler failed to explode:D
Haha, Thanks :D
Its just been put on now, i keep telling my self its ok, how ever beleiving it is harder :D
I just feel its a sign that something is wrong lol but i can't sit here and think like that all afternoon.
My nan is due here in the next hour sometime anyway x :)
---------- Post added at 15:17 ---------- Previous post was at 15:06 ----------
It just made the sound now lol - I keep going up to it listening to it.
---------- Post added at 16:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:17 ----------
I also cant walk around without feeling dizzy- havnt had this before today and thats another sign of CM. its madness.
---------- Post added at 17:17 ---------- Previous post was at 16:46 ----------
i swear other people look ill to in this house. everyones yawning. i feel like we are all dying.
---------- Post added at 17:55 ---------- Previous post was at 17:17 ----------
also it never makes the sound when anyone else is in kicthen. dads never heard it. it does it when im next to it and usually when you hear the pilot light go on.
I just have no explanation as to why it hasnt always been like this and i cant find an answer.
The heatings on and hasnt made the noise today...
i told my nan and she said well it was looked at the weather has got colder so it does more work and works harder.
william wallace
25-12-11, 10:42
Happy Christmas Emma, and may all your boilers be quiet ones:hugs:
Thanks.
Merry Christmas :hugs:
I only wish i could stop looking at my family trying to spot if they feel ill lol. everytime my dad yawns i freak out again. Bloody winter :wacko:
---------- Post added at 13:55 ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 ----------
my mum and nans eyes keep fluttering shut aswell.
---------- Post added at 13:59 ---------- Previous post was at 13:55 ----------
and now my mums asleep on the sofa. its really scarine me. tiredness is a sign of cm.
---------- Post added at 14:29 ---------- Previous post was at 13:59 ----------
Someone cant even have a nap without me panicking.
I asked my aunt for a CM dectector for xmas- didn't get one lol. my mum even asked if she fell asleep- she doesnt even remember :'(
---------- Post added at 14:46 ---------- Previous post was at 14:29 ----------
also the temp in the house reads 18 c but the raditors are cold and the boilers on.
---------- Post added at 15:10 ---------- Previous post was at 14:46 ----------
the boilers on and it wont even heat up the raditors today .
im also yawning like crazy- the heatings just come on and i started yawning the minute the my radiotor started to warm up.
william wallace
26-12-11, 20:13
Still alive then?:D
Haha. Well of course i am Sir :D
william wallace
26-12-11, 20:23
And was Santa good to you?
He was thanks :D
I didn't want anything but looks like santa went way overboard :D
Was he good to you?
william wallace
26-12-11, 20:36
Yeah, two bottles of Scotch, chockies, sockies, cd's, dvd's well happy:D
What did you get?
Clothes, Itunes Vouchers, Perfume, A bottle of Jack Daniels. Oh and money to get my hair done and coloured next week :D
william wallace
26-12-11, 20:52
Lucky you speshly the Jack Daniels:winks:
My dad bought it for me.
My mum doesn't aproove of me drinking at all- i think its because she used to be wild when she was my age.
I've had one small glass of champagne in 2 weeks and once my dad walked out the room she said "next time make sure its juice"
Yet shes had 3 bottles her self today.
Oh well :D x
william wallace
26-12-11, 21:08
Well there you go, dad ignores you but buys you a bottle of JD, cant be all bad. And your mum sounds like a real party animal drinking three bottles of shampoo in a day:Dx
I know he loves me really- I do him.
He just doesnt understand anxiety and that part of me but his still my dad.
Haha my mum is always like this- christmas or not! she has at least two or three glasses a night it doesnt seem to affect her though- she still acts the same.
I like JD and white wine (but not dry wine) :)
william wallace
26-12-11, 21:36
JD and white wine - not in the same glass I hope, that would be well mingin:D
I'm pretty sure that they both love you Emma, and forgive me for saying this, but with your anxiety problems you must be very difficult to live with:hugs:
with coke :D i never talk to them about anxiety. the boiler was one of the first things i have and i only asked once :)
i never to bother again now from the reaction i got ! lol x :hugs:
william wallace
26-12-11, 22:18
It's a damned shame that they are'nt much help to you Emma, they obviously have issues of their own. Well at least you have your nan and an aunt that you can confide in:hugs:
It is but you learn to accept it as there problem and i won't let it be mine aswell. At least i have my nan and aunt :hugs:
william wallace
27-12-11, 21:16
Howz you tonight Emma?:)
Didn't see your post last night sorry...
I'm ok thank you at the moment. I'm never 100 per cent ok but i am better today x :) thank you for asking
william wallace
28-12-11, 16:36
Aw no bother Emma, good to hear you're having a good one:)
Thanks.
I had a phone call earlier saying i bought something online and i hadnt but my friend has used my name/dob as im 18 and his not to buy something and i told them he had done it without my knowlodge (he had).
He'd used his address/e-mail but my name and DOB.
theharvestmouse
28-12-11, 19:16
buying Jack Daniels for your daughter for christmas seems a bit odd if you ask me, you want to be very careful with drinking, it makes anxiety much worse and only add to problems.
3 bottles of champagne in a day for a woman is dangerous.
I didn't want it- to be honest my dad will have a lot of it him self proberly.
I drink one glass of wine a week maybe- sometimes i can go two weeks- personally the only alcohol i like is jd and white wine and i might have a small bit of JD with coke about once a month.
I know its dangerous but she will never listen lol she thinks its ok as shes in her 40's but at the end of the day it is her body and i can't physically stop her from drinking i can only tell her what I think
:)
theharvestmouse
28-12-11, 19:48
Ok its good that you do not drink much, but your mother should know better, that kind of alcohol consumption can do a lot of damage. But like you said its up to her.
Hope you're ok tonight.:)
Thanks.
I'm literally the only person in my year group who has never been drunk/ doesn't go out every friday/saturday binge drinking.
I feel allright today- of course im still worrying over the CM as the boilers on but its not as much of a worry as it was.
Yesterday i had a huge headache and dizziness along with it. As soon as the headache went the dizziness went to
x
---------- Post added at 21:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:52 ----------
the people that phoned earlier my friend said he didnt give out my phone number and he hadnt even ordered anything but they said he had :S
:hugs:hey emma, just read all your thread from when i last posted - glad you have someone to talk to here - it sounds to me as though your folks have their own problems to deal with and so there doesnt seem to be much time for you - plus some ppl lack insight so they generally dont tend to worry about the effect their words and actions have - and if your mum drinks most night then she maybe feels out of control of her life and so therefore she isnt far from losing it when pushed - to her your prob is just a load of rubbish so u aint ever gonna get sympathy - you have to have felt it to empathise really - i know loads of ppl who have said to me years later omg emma now i know how it feels - there but for the grace of god go i and all that? yeah i agree with u about ur mum prancing round naked i dont like it - i seen my mum like that and never thought anything of it - but then again she did let me sleep in her bed till i was 12 so i dont think she knew what good parenting was really either - but i dont get naked in front of my daughter coz i think its wrong -it breaks a boundary - anyway getting back to you - meds could help you and they wouldnt kill you - ive had same issues with meds as you but im now on citalopram and propranolol and i feel normal - i swear to you i was bad as you are - not about CM, but about all my personal fears - same thing shaking, feeling like going mad, agitated, physically ill and exhausted, depressed and basically just surviving and infact when i was that scared i used to give up caring - id be like oh okay well then dying might be better than this, and strangely that would calm me - i had a serious fear of death too but eventually i began to think it would be preferable to living in constant fear - i got better my self alot but eventually due to life events i was beaten and i did go the meds and within days i was better - there are always options - and walking is a brill form of therapy you might even extend that to running which is even better for anxiety and you never know you might want to do a half marathon or something eventually? turn it all into positives if you can? how about thinking about helping other ppl like yourself? my sister works alongside cahms to do the stuff they cant/wont - she goes to kids who have probs at home, maybe you could do that? btw she is 41 in feb, only completed her degree last yr and is now in full-time employment - due to our shit start in life its took her this long to feel like shes arrived - but now she does and thats great - you can do it whenever, when you 20 or 50 it doesnt matter so long as you like yourself and are a good person you will be okay - sorry about the lecture its what happens when i only come on every couple of wks:blush: b ut i am 16 wks pregnant so i do have a slight excuse - i have to put my feet up alot and watch lots of telly:winks::hugs:
Congrats on your pregnancy! :) :hugs:
Thank you for your post it really helped .
I agree my parents will never understand how i feel unless they suffer something similar them selves. I went for a two hour walk today with my nans dog for her and it really helped me clear my head x
Hi miss emma,
I dont really know what kind of heat you have but here a gas heater or gas water heater has to have (BY LAW) an inspected relief devide so even if something went wrong with your boiler i would expect it to blow the relief valve first. So listen to your friend that told you about the rude sounds bad weather can bring. I have been outside all day at work today and are we ever catching it. Valves dont work solinoids dont work transmitters sending th wrong signal to the computer lines plugged all due to cold weather. And I am so tired of ruinng these steps like a grey squirrel i could lay down and just about sob myself to sleep riht now and it is 1 PM here.
Any way you ake it easy and if you feel you must take action i suggest you send for a manual on your boiler from your power company. And one last assurance on Carbon Monoxide if you are burning natural gas this stuf burns very very clean there is small chance of it causing you a health problem. Heating oil is a little less clean but not in terms os troube with this gas. Coal could cuase a release of carbon gases and other gases but very very rarely would it build up in the home. How do I know? I destroy chemical waste for a living and we measure how much CO2 we make inside the kiln on a second by second basis.
Louis
Thanks.
It's 6:25 here in the UK.
I'm visiting the USA at the end of the year and am really excited lol. We are going to NYC and San Francisco
Why do not you just ask your friend if it the carbon monoxide reading was checked when the boiler was serviced ? (I bet it was ) Then you can finally lay this fear to rest.
It's my mum id have to ask she was here when we had the service.
Its on at the moment and im exhauseted and dad has fallen asleep x :(
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