Relationship anxiety...

[OrganDonor]

The only anxiety I ever get is with my relationship, is anyone here in the same boat?

I was cheated on in a previous relationship, my trust in anyone was destroyed, but is steadily rebuilding.

When I'm out with my girlfriend or sat at home together I'm fine, no anxiety at all, but feel very anxious when we're apart at work. If she tells me there's a girls night out coming up my stomach ties itself in knots, the anxiety is unbearable.

Her works Xmas staff night out is Friday and I'm anxious just thinking about it! I know when she goes out I'll suffer until she's back. It's really annoying me :mad:

Will this last forever? Is it trust based anxiety? Do I need to trust her fully before the anxiety stops? I've never felt like this in my life. Why now?

[elysium]

You have to learn to trust before you anxiety will stop. Trust me, not being able to trust someone destroyed my relationship, although she had her faults and she did misbehave, I did it all the wrong way.

And relationship anxiety is quite common. It'll all come back, just sit there and let her do what she wants, you may see and learn that nothing will happen. I was in the same boat, if I was around her I wasn't worried, when I wasn't I worried. I'd say its more stress than anxiety.

You do need to talk to her and let her know how you're feeling.

[OrganDonor]

You have to learn to trust before you anxiety will stop. Trust me, not being able to trust someone destroyed my relationship, although she had her faults and she did misbehave, I did it all the wrong way.

And relationship anxiety is quite common. It'll all come back, just sit there and let her do what she wants, you may see and learn that nothing will happen. I was in the same boat, if I was around her I wasn't worried, when I wasn't I worried. I'd say its more stress than anxiety.

You do need to talk to her and let her know how you're feeling.

Thanks a lot for your reply :)

We have spoken about my worries and she does sympathise. When she says she wants me forever and promises everything with us is fine my anxiety stops, but the next day it's back to square one. Basically, what my mind needs to be sound is constant reassurance which, in my opinion, sounds a little bit pathetic.

I never object to her doing anything without me. When she does go out on a night I try to sleep as soon as I can because anxiety can't get to me while I'm sleeping.

I know the way I am is because of my past, I was lied to and cheated on badly and cannot shake off the memories of the hurt.