Work-related anxiety

[hungrycaterpillar]

Hi all.
A week ago, I woke up and suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by EVERYTHING. Work, Christmas, bills etc.

I ended up having a panic attack before work, got myself to work, full of anxiety, phoned my Dad and cried for about an hour. I managed to calm down throughout the day, however, the next morning pretty much the same thing happened, and again the next day... And I ended up coming home after less than an hour at work.

I then had 3 days off (scheduled) and worked from home on Monday which was ok. During these 3 days I was extremely anxious. I managed to see my Dr who signed me off, however, I am self employed and part own a business so it's not as easy as it seems!!!

In my job I have clients and am usually with a client for 1-1.30 hours... Which means that once I am with them I can't just walk away.

I managed to go to work yesterday, but on the way there actually considered crashing my car so that I would have a physical reason not to go.

I again got through the day but I was SO anxious all day it was awful.

I took today off. Felt guilty all day. I had just started to relax a tiny bit until I got a text pressurising me to come in tomorrow. Now I feel sick and panicky and very worried.

I seem to have got stuck in this anxious circle, and I don't know how long it is going to last. I've had episodes in the past, ranging from 6 months to 2 weeks... And I know that 'This too shall pass' and that I have to just ride it out BUT I feel SO horrific.

I am taking Citalopram again after quitting it about 8 weeks ago (I think this is what has started all this) and I am taking 40mg Propanolol 3 times a day. I am going to be getting CBT in the New Year but they can't get me in before Christmas.

I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for not being at work but then I feel panicky when I am at work.

[ciccone-hassell]

hi i no the feeling i had bad feeling at work last monday came home monday after my shift and felt very stressed and worryed i saw my gp last tuesday and he said i HAVE to have 2 wks off sick which i am currently doing but saw him yesterday and said that i felt worst atm i have IBS thats got 100000000 times worst since the upset last monday i cant carm down i'm constanlty nervous and scared my tummy constanly in a huge knot atm , i was put bk on citalopram yesterday as he said if i dont relax the spaum in tummy wont go , but its a constant battle , i have to admit i have felt same as well as u said " tempted to hurt urself so u can get off work " felt that way alot atm , also feel scared of xmas hols as i dread it every year since xmas 2008 woke up with very bad IBS spaum so i scared that happen again , i keep having nightmares as well keep thinking i gunna die , keep dreaming about my past and about family who have died :( " is this a sign i am dieing ?? i just cant cope , my doc has said that IF i get to bad must ring shropdoc or goto A+E and they have me in hospital " but i dont wanna let meself or family down , i adore my mum / dad/ sister and my pets so i no i goto fight this i just want , 1 = outta my job , 2 = outta my horrible life , 3= outta my horrible pain , i suffer from fibromyila and CFS and IBS which doesnt help greatly , i no all my pain and symtoms are stress related but its gettin away from stress , help !!!

[hungrycaterpillar]

I have Fibromyalgia and IBS too!

You're not dying. Far from it. And IBS spasms will not do you any harm, that is something you MUST try to remember! Yes it is painful and awful but you will be fine.

It sounds like you have a great Dr and and nice family? I hope the next 2 weeks off help you to relax and for the meds to kick in.

[erin31]

The above posts made me feel very sad for both of you but then I read the 3rd post and I couldn't believe how strong hungrycaterpillar had become when it came to supporting someone else. I have nothing but admiration for you hungrycaterpillar as you are suffering so badly yet you have given words of encouragement and support to someone else who also needs it. So selfless and not something we see to often these days. :flowers:

[hungrycaterpillar]

Oh, thank you erin31 :blush:

However, I have very much been around the block with anxiety, I know an awful lot about it and could probably even be a counsellor in it as I know all the right things to do an say... However I am totally rubbish at listening to my own advice. I wish I could stop the way I feel but I can't!

I'm more than happy to help anyone if I think I can.

Thank you for your kind post, it was really lovely.:)