eden.eden
25-12-11, 11:43
I've been seeing my GP for depression since Oct. Medication not making much of a dent in it, says she will up it in New Year if no improvement by then. I have some OK days then seen to go really low the next day. Have noticed that whenever I am in a position of decision making I fall apart.
On Fri I had to go to a meeting to apply for Jobseekers allowance after s/employed work dried up. I am a single homeowner. To say the whole thing was humiliating was an understatement. The whole thing seems designed to rob you of any pride or dignity. I had to sign agreements to say I would be proactive and take whatever job I could find. I had to agree to all sorts of actions I have to take each week and really struggled not to cry in front of the advisor. When I got out I howled for hours and have taken a real nosedive this past 2 days.
I don't feel able to live up to anything i agreed to. Having just asked for help with depression after 7 years of ups and downs I really need space to just get my head together and deal with the meds and therapy to start next month. I feel under huge pressure now to get a full time job asap - a. because money is running out fast and b. because I have signed up to this benefit. The joke is I'll only actually get £180 a month from them in the end which wont pay anything much billwise and I'm thinking I might just as well not go through with it. Somedays I feel I could cope with a job, others I cry all day.
I have equity in my house and am wondering if I should just sell it and rent somewhere for a while to sort my head out. Too many decisions and no space or ability to make them. My friend who is my rock at the moment says 'take a day at a time' but that doesnt pay bills or bring in money.
Sorry, this has got long - offloading I suppose.
On Fri I had to go to a meeting to apply for Jobseekers allowance after s/employed work dried up. I am a single homeowner. To say the whole thing was humiliating was an understatement. The whole thing seems designed to rob you of any pride or dignity. I had to sign agreements to say I would be proactive and take whatever job I could find. I had to agree to all sorts of actions I have to take each week and really struggled not to cry in front of the advisor. When I got out I howled for hours and have taken a real nosedive this past 2 days.
I don't feel able to live up to anything i agreed to. Having just asked for help with depression after 7 years of ups and downs I really need space to just get my head together and deal with the meds and therapy to start next month. I feel under huge pressure now to get a full time job asap - a. because money is running out fast and b. because I have signed up to this benefit. The joke is I'll only actually get £180 a month from them in the end which wont pay anything much billwise and I'm thinking I might just as well not go through with it. Somedays I feel I could cope with a job, others I cry all day.
I have equity in my house and am wondering if I should just sell it and rent somewhere for a while to sort my head out. Too many decisions and no space or ability to make them. My friend who is my rock at the moment says 'take a day at a time' but that doesnt pay bills or bring in money.
Sorry, this has got long - offloading I suppose.