Please help i feel so trapped

[molkogirl]

Hi, Please can somebody help me i feel totally trapped. My anxiety is really high and my mood is very low.
I had a miscarriage in august and then my nana (who i used to help care for) died on the 7th of Dec. On top of this i am having a really tough time at work.
I work for a cleaning company at a cinema site, the management are mother and son. The guys wife passed away a few months ago and since then things have gone from bad to worse at work. Its not that i am unsympathetic i really do feel sorry for the man. He comes and goes as he pleases which leaves us short staffed and when he is there he is mean and aggressive, so is his mother. I am meant to be a supervisor but i just get given all the work. Him and his mum say things about the staff like 'if he causes any trouble i will take him into the car park and threaten him, see how big he is then' and 'i will make thier lives hell at work, i love an atmosphere' We dont get anywhere near the legal holiday entitlement and are made to work bank holidays for normal pay and no day to take later. They say if people ask for the holidays they will 'hit them where it hurts in the pay' or 'get rid of them'. I had the day off for boxing day and now i am not allowed another day off until next week, i feel so exhausted. A girl there had her partner phone in because she is in hospital and they dont believe her saying they will watch her house to catch her out lying. My partner insisted that i have today off because i was up till 3am in tears and he spoke to my boss.
Now i am terrified that they are going to be really mean and feel like i cant go back or see them. I cant cope with aggressive people due to my nerves. I dont know where to turn, i feel so trapped and i have been having thoughts of self harm which are scaring me. Please can someone advise.
thanks
Sarah

[robinbrum]

I know it's not easy in the current climate but is there not another job you can do? Your employers are bullying scumbags and should be a taken to a court for abusing your human rights.
There's got to be better people to work for.

[ewood79]

Get onto your local union delegate!!!

You could even go to a fair workers council etc as that is harassment!

[Wolfie]

Please visit your nearest CAB. The laws regarding employees are there to protect you. They can be sued for not giving you anything which is legally required, also, you can claim compensation for the contribution they have made to your anxiety issues, due to their aggressiveness and threatening behaviour. I suggest you hit them where it hurts. Then find a better workplace!

[molkogirl]

Thank you all for your replies. I am terrified of getting them in trouble because of what they will do to me and how they will make me feel at work. Does anyone know if i could do it anonymously?
I went into work this morning and they didn't believe that i had been ill yesterday. They said 'so did you have a nice day off' and 'people always blob at xmas' making me feel guilty saying that everyone had to break thier back to get the work done because i had off and that i nearly lost them the cleaning contract by leaving them short staffed. They gave me heaps of work to do today too, which im sure was some sort of punishment.
The managers mum only worked an hour and then went to babysit her grandson and is getting paid 5hrs on the timesheet. I dont know how much more i can take. Im so upset now.

[sickandtired]

tell them to shove their shit job up their fat arses!!! OMG,I hate bullies!!!!
could you not find a different job? anything.....bar work,catering,cleaning....
I walked out my job 2 years ago because the practice manager was a bitch and spoke down to me as though I was a child.I am a 40 year old mother of 3 children.....but no matter what age,you deserve respect.I,d been in my cleaning job for 6 years and the place was spotless,(all the patients and staff would comment on how clean it was and how no cleaner had ever lasted months ,nevermind years!) Practice manager had a shock one day,when I just downed tools and walked out.You can only take so much.I was suffering with anaemia due to heavy periods and was forever passing out,but she didnt give a shit so long as the place was cleaned.She would pick someone different each day to bully......well she picked the wrong person and wrong day (a Monday,lol)
What they are doing is wrong.Do you get sick pay? I would go on the sick for as long as I could afford to,tell doctor you are ill with depression caused by your treatment at work,then I would sue their arses off!!!!

[ewood79]

Keep us updated with how u go too, my work are understanding of my condition as they know they would get their arses sued big time!

[molkogirl]

I tried to sort it out, i rang acas and they said i cant do anything anonymously and i was too scared to speak out in case it made things worse, they said that no 3rd party would step in to protect me or my rights. i Tried to ring citizens advice but i couldn't get through. I went to see the doctor ( not my normal doc) last night and he said he could phone my manager and tell them to stop because it was effecting my health but i was too scared to let him because this too would have made things much worse for me at work. He gave me anti depressants for 2wks and said see how you feel after that.
I felt i couldn't cope anymore and like nobody was gonna help me so i got my partner to give them keys and tell them i was not going back. He was angry at them and he has told them all the reasons and said they have treat me badly.
Now i dont have a job at all, i dont know if things are worse now.
Does anyone know what i should do now? sorry to be such a pain.
Thanks

[sickandtired]

Its a shame your doctor couldnt have given you a sick note,coz that would have pissed them off big time.
Well,at least you,re rid of them now.I guess what you really need to do now is take good care of yourself and take your meds......what has your doctor given you?
and did he explain you may have some side effects?

[molkogirl]

He has give me Imipramine 25mg 1 before bed. I have looked up the side effects and they sound a bit scary. Might wait and see if i start to feel better without the job instead of taking them. Just worried about my money situation now as i have walked out and there aren't many jobs going at the mo. Guess ill have to ring the job centre on tuesday and see what they say. Cant help but worry about everything and if i have made the wrong decision. Thanks for your help and being there for me. It means alot.

[UKgal87]

Hi molkogirl,

I have just read your post, and I feel really bad for you; I know exactly how you feel as I was in very same position this time last year. I also worked for a terrible company that did and said exactly the same sort of things that you describe in your posts. It got so bad that they were not paying any of their staff (the company was doing badly) yet they continued to black mail me and the other employees into working for nothing. I didnt realise it at the time, but this time marked the beginning of my anxiety, and for that I will never forgive the directors of that company for putting me under so much stress that i still suffer from more than a year on. I eventually resigned, I'd had enough of the rollercoaster of emotions I was experiencing, not to mention the financial implications were terrifying! My advice would be to leave this job as soon as possible (which i think you have done now?), no job is worth compensating your health, and yes, things might be difficult financially in the near future, but if you have the determination and drive to find something better, it will do wonders for your anxiety and stress levels. It took me 2 months to find a new job and within weeks my stress had subsided and i could look forward to a better future. To this day i cant believe i stayed in such a bad job for so long! I still get stressed and have panic attacks every now and then but having a stable job with a good company gives me one less thing to worry about!

Hope this advice is helpful to you, all the best! x

[molkogirl]

Hi, Thanks UKgal87 i only just seen your message. Yes i have left the job but my anxiety is still very high at the moment.
I am trying to decide whether or not to complain to the directors about what has happened as my issue was with the site managers.
It not easy to make decisions though when i am feeling anxious, almost impossible infact.
Thanks again for your support.