B.B.M
30-12-11, 13:16
Who would have though, that in four months, I would go from a comfy bed, living with my mother, to sleeping on a broken sofa, in my dad's studio flat.
Around August, my mother decided to throw me out, and have been living with my father for the last four months, and it's amazing how much my life has fallen since then. Before I was thrown out, my life was going places, I joined the Gym, I was close to getting a job, and started to feel good about myself, and both me and my mother agree, that throwing me out, will help me be more indepedent....on paper. Since I started having anxiety/depression, I always turned to my father, and have been discussing the prospect of me, moving in with him. I thought he would help me back onto my feet, more than my Mother could....how wrong I am.
Since I've moved in with my father, I've stopped going to the gym (But continued paying due to his request, since I'm also paying for him....he hasn't been to the gym in months either, what a waste of £370), I've put back on all the weight I lost, and more. I've had more Panic Attacks, living with him, then I did with my mum. and the worse thing being that everytime, I need help, he would now joke about it, or mock me....what happened to the dad, that would help me, now all he does is take my money, and use my stuff. I knew my life changed for the worst, when he took my aftershave, and told me to "F*ck off" when I told him, he can't use it. He also makes up stupid rules like "Any food you buy, we have to share" and "When we get a bigger place, you can't use your laptop in the living room"
It seems like, he knows he can control me, since I can't control myself...he knows I don't have the confidence to stand up to him. When someone keeps bragging to you, that he loves his life, and is better than mine, you have to feel betrayed. My mother has been telling me for years, that I shouldn't look up to him....I wish I listened to her.
I'm physically and mentally tired, and have honestly stopped caring.
Around August, my mother decided to throw me out, and have been living with my father for the last four months, and it's amazing how much my life has fallen since then. Before I was thrown out, my life was going places, I joined the Gym, I was close to getting a job, and started to feel good about myself, and both me and my mother agree, that throwing me out, will help me be more indepedent....on paper. Since I started having anxiety/depression, I always turned to my father, and have been discussing the prospect of me, moving in with him. I thought he would help me back onto my feet, more than my Mother could....how wrong I am.
Since I've moved in with my father, I've stopped going to the gym (But continued paying due to his request, since I'm also paying for him....he hasn't been to the gym in months either, what a waste of £370), I've put back on all the weight I lost, and more. I've had more Panic Attacks, living with him, then I did with my mum. and the worse thing being that everytime, I need help, he would now joke about it, or mock me....what happened to the dad, that would help me, now all he does is take my money, and use my stuff. I knew my life changed for the worst, when he took my aftershave, and told me to "F*ck off" when I told him, he can't use it. He also makes up stupid rules like "Any food you buy, we have to share" and "When we get a bigger place, you can't use your laptop in the living room"
It seems like, he knows he can control me, since I can't control myself...he knows I don't have the confidence to stand up to him. When someone keeps bragging to you, that he loves his life, and is better than mine, you have to feel betrayed. My mother has been telling me for years, that I shouldn't look up to him....I wish I listened to her.
I'm physically and mentally tired, and have honestly stopped caring.