dannibear94
31-12-11, 04:01
I've had health anxiety on and off for almost 2 years after a family relative passed away in his sleep aged 32 due to a blood clot travelling to his lung. Ever since I have developed a terrible anxiety disorder. I was diagnosed with sciatica a few months ago (trapped nerve in leg causing bad pain) and it went away and now it's back but worse and no matter what I've manage to convince myself I have a blood clot too as the pain is quite severe :(
I force myself to stay awake until I can no longer incase I die also sometimes I will set my alarm in the night so I know I'm still alive (crazy I know but I can't help it) I feel deporsonalised like I'm not really here and it makes me jump to catch my breath. I constanly google my symptoms which often show life threatening illnesses. I think some of my fear stems back to a few years ago when my older brother was diagnosed with cancer and was given 48 hours to live but he pulled through then he was diagnosed a second time and pulled through again. My sister suffered with deppression and was put on ness which made her worse anyway she's turned her life around and is now studying to be a mental health nurse. I can't help freaking out every night/day death is all I ever think about it's scaring me I'm freaking out I think I'm gonna die all the time! I should not feel like this I'm only 17 but I don't have many friends and my past plays the part in my fears! Anyway sorry to bore you with this essay but I needed to get some things off my chest to people that understand I just don't know what to do anymore feel like I've hit rock bottom :'( - much love Danielle
I force myself to stay awake until I can no longer incase I die also sometimes I will set my alarm in the night so I know I'm still alive (crazy I know but I can't help it) I feel deporsonalised like I'm not really here and it makes me jump to catch my breath. I constanly google my symptoms which often show life threatening illnesses. I think some of my fear stems back to a few years ago when my older brother was diagnosed with cancer and was given 48 hours to live but he pulled through then he was diagnosed a second time and pulled through again. My sister suffered with deppression and was put on ness which made her worse anyway she's turned her life around and is now studying to be a mental health nurse. I can't help freaking out every night/day death is all I ever think about it's scaring me I'm freaking out I think I'm gonna die all the time! I should not feel like this I'm only 17 but I don't have many friends and my past plays the part in my fears! Anyway sorry to bore you with this essay but I needed to get some things off my chest to people that understand I just don't know what to do anymore feel like I've hit rock bottom :'( - much love Danielle