Here I am again forcing myself to stay awake so I don't die in my sleep :(

[dannibear94]

I've had health anxiety on and off for almost 2 years after a family relative passed away in his sleep aged 32 due to a blood clot travelling to his lung. Ever since I have developed a terrible anxiety disorder. I was diagnosed with sciatica a few months ago (trapped nerve in leg causing bad pain) and it went away and now it's back but worse and no matter what I've manage to convince myself I have a blood clot too as the pain is quite severe :(
I force myself to stay awake until I can no longer incase I die also sometimes I will set my alarm in the night so I know I'm still alive (crazy I know but I can't help it) I feel deporsonalised like I'm not really here and it makes me jump to catch my breath. I constanly google my symptoms which often show life threatening illnesses. I think some of my fear stems back to a few years ago when my older brother was diagnosed with cancer and was given 48 hours to live but he pulled through then he was diagnosed a second time and pulled through again. My sister suffered with deppression and was put on ness which made her worse anyway she's turned her life around and is now studying to be a mental health nurse. I can't help freaking out every night/day death is all I ever think about it's scaring me I'm freaking out I think I'm gonna die all the time! I should not feel like this I'm only 17 but I don't have many friends and my past plays the part in my fears! Anyway sorry to bore you with this essay but I needed to get some things off my chest to people that understand I just don't know what to do anymore feel like I've hit rock bottom :'( - much love Danielle

[jessicalittler79]

sorry to here about your friend i also have health anx ,very badly for 4 yeARS ,and mine was set off by my sister passing away at age 30 so i understand how u feel ,,i was thinking its rare to get a blood clot for no reason was there other medical problems at all ? iam always here if u need to talk tcxx

[dannibear94]

Hi, sorry to hear about your sister that's awful :(
no that I know of but I didn't even know then man I only met him once, but still it's affected me very badly the doctor said it was an extremley rare case but being the person I am I always think well what if that was me yanno! It sucks I'm so tired but I can't bring myself to sleep incase the same thing happens to me especially because I have bad leg cramps/pain :(

[Anxious_gal]

I'm awake too because my hear beat is all funny n I feel breathless :(
Of course I think this time some thing is really wrong.
But you need to be aware when you're being paranoid or delusional it can help to write things down to give you a different perspective .
I think the stress of what you went through set off your anxiety , when you have anxiety you want controle , sleeping is one of those times you really are not in controle .
Yes people do die but they never die because of sleeping. So sleeping in its self is not ever going to harm you.
You totally have health anxiety.
Lack of sleep causes depersonalisation etc . .
So getting 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep will help you feel better.
Maybe you need a therpist , hell everyone should have a therpist :)
Talk to your doctor if you haven't been getting professional help for your anxiety.
I developed health anxiety really young as a child after my mum got very Ill , If I ever had similar symptoms , I'd worry I was gonna get ill too .

[jessicalittler79]

yes i can see why u would be anxous all time and have health anx i can for sure relate with u iam going threw same thing i wish i had an answer for u ..i know sleep is the most important thing if u got alittle sleep may help how long u been this way poor thing so young to be going threw all of this i wish u well soon:)

[dannibear94]

I know thankyou well on that note I'm going to try and put my stupid fears aside and sleep! Thanks for the support it means a lot : )

[jessicalittler79]

pm me anytime ill always be here if u need help !

[duke246810]

Hello,
Im 17 years old and I force myself to stay awake, I hardly sleep now, the only time I do is when i cant physically keep my eyes oopen. If you need to talk, feel free to pm me as I have much experience with this. Hope I hear from you x

[mikewales]

Whatever fears you have, forcing yourself to stay awake is going to make them worse. Your brain needs sleep to give it time to relax, lack of sleep can make any kind of anxiety, depression etc.. a lot worse, and can also leave you much more open to physical illnesses.