Help.. Please..

[belle]

My life has become a big cycle of fear, depression and panic attacks.

I'm back to being housebound which is not fun, but apart from that i am SO depressed and scared. I fear throwing up (son is back to school tomorrow and i am worried about him getting sick), i worry about dying... this is consuming my life. I feel a pain, ache, anything and i think that's it... I have been ill for 23 days now with a cold, then chest infection, then sinusitis and laryngitis and then another chest infection on top.. I feel like hell. My life is currently hell. I am constantly worrying about everything. I worry about life... or lack of a life. I worry about something happening to my son, i worry about my family, i worry about the state of my relationship, i worry that i am going to die alone, i worry about everything and it's beginning to really get me down.

I have NO friends... no one to talk to. I feel that i am a burden to my mother. The other night i was having a panic attack because i felt i couldn't breath and she had to come out at 12.30am to rescue me. She is 67 years old and lives 10 miles away.... I feel ashamed of my life... i feel so terribly fed up and really wish there was an easily solution.

I am CONVINCED i have something SERIOUSLY wrong with me, but the doctors are yet to find it and won't ever find it because they think i am mental. I am tired 24/7... I never feel awake. I struggle to get energy to do anything. I ache all over... (this is on a normal day without being ill)...

I just don't know what to do... i am stuck in a cycle of hell and can't stop it.

I am not on medication and i am starting therapy on the 12th.

[pinkdove]

Hi Belle, so sorry to read your post, you are having a really bad time just now. i know how you feel, as i felt the same when i was first ill.

You really need to talk to someone, your gp perhaps, and tell them exactly how you are feeling.

I see you are not on any meds, but maybe you need some help, even in the short term to help you through this bad patch, and you will be feeling tired and worn out after all you have been through, so don't be too hard on yourself, also i'm sure your mum will understand, we all need the help of our family in times if stress.

I wish you well, and urge you to seek help, without the help of meds, and my family i would still be housebound, and living a frightened stressed out existance. but i am so much better now, and you will be too, believe me, you will get there, keep us posted and take care xx