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.Poppy.
02-01-12, 22:12
....is it okay to acknowledge that something hasn't worked out, and *not* feel like a failure?

As some of you know, I started my first "real" job two weeks ago. (I worked for my father's company, and have worked my life on our farm and with construction, and have volunteered, but this is the first paying, not for family job I have had).

To put it bluntly, these two weeks have been h3ll. Now, I know that sometimes I can be a bit lazy - as can all people - but I also know that I work VERY hard at whatever I do and therefore don't consider myself to be a lazy person. I also consider myself to be a smart person, and in spite of my anxiety, I'm pretty adaptable. Pretty good at pushing myself most times. I get anxiety always when I start new things - when I started college, I was terrified and having panic attacks (and had a couple of weeks where I couldn't sleep at all at the end of the semester) - but it was never this bad.

I am technically a part-time employee, but it's winter break from college and most employees (though I understand only a handful are actually students) have taken it off. So they've got me working 8 hour days. It's in a deli restaurant, so I'm on my feet ALL day long, and I have gotten only two days off.

To sum up, I'm tired all the time. I find myself jealous of everyone that comes in, and how happy and carefree they seem. I cry constantly (not at work). I'm friendly to customers, but inside I'm either completely sad or extremely angry. At home, I'm irritable at best. I feel there is nothing to look forward to. I can't *focus* - I'll be wringing someone up and have to take a pause because I'm not reading right, or something similar.

My mother has told me that if it interferes with school work (and I imagine it will as they want me working 15-20 hours during the school week) that I can quit. I honestly don't know how I'll make it the next two weeks - I am that tired.

The job is also such that I don't have *exact* hours -today they asked me to come in a half hour earlier and stay a half hour later, so I worked an extra hour. Today was supposed to be an easy, short day.

So - I really think that I have to quit, however, I feel like a total failure for doing so. I feel like I'm not as adaptable as I thought I was, and that I'll never succeed at *anything* - which I know deep down isn't true, and that this line of work isn't for everyone, but it's got me feeling just awful.

Has anyone had to deal with this? How did you talk yourself down into believing that you weren't a failure? It's been such a short amount of time - and yet I sit here, after just crying AND getting angry at my family, with an awfully sore back and my costochondritis acting up. It's too much, I just feel awful to think that.

Thanks for reading my vent. Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated :)

theharvestmouse
02-01-12, 22:20
Do whatever you think is right for you. Don't let this job get in the way of your education, if its causing you stress and making you unhappy then there it is NOT a failure to walk away. You are making a decision that will ultimately help you feel better.

3 years ago I had to leave a job when I had a terrible bout of anxiety/depression, I realised that I was so unhappy that the job was too much and to get myself better I had to leave. I didn't think I was a failure because I knew I was capable of doing the job but at that time the anxiety was so bad that to get better I had to quit the job.

So walking away is NOT always a sign of failure, in fact sometimes it takes more courage to make a bold decision.

Whatever you do just believe that its nothing to do with failure and you are capable of working because you have done it before and in time I'm sure you will feel able to do anything you want to.

:)

Greenman50
02-01-12, 22:25
How old are you ?

You mention school so i,m guessing a teenager ?

It sounds like you have given it a go for 2 weeks , i,ve had many many teenagers last only a day working for me (not my fault i might add) , some stayed a few weeks one stayed for 6 years before getting a better job .

My point is , if its not for you don,t be so hard on yourself you have all your working life to find something you really like .

.Poppy.
03-01-12, 00:11
Thanks, guys :)

@mel - I'm actually 20. I'm a sophomore in college right now as well.

I may very well stick it out until the break is over, and see where I'm at at that point. But at least I won't feel bad about quitting if it comes to that.

evil monkey
04-01-12, 11:51
Hey i guess the thing is, is if you can realise why something failed. I suppose there are different causes for things failing. One cause for failure might be justified, one might be a straight failure...one might be the luck of the draw. (god i'm saying the f word a lot 'ere. lol.) some failures might be inevitable. & as said below.

I spose giving it your best shot is what you fall back on. If you aim for the moon and miss, u might have a very rough ride ahead with some meteor belts, meet some aliens on the way, and run out of air. But at least you had a go at leaving the street.

mikewales
04-01-12, 12:39
Realistically, its only a job in a deli, not a lifetime career, so it doesn't really matter if you quit. Your college work is a lot more important, so I would focus on that, and not worry about part time jobs if you don't really need them.