social anxiety

[uk guy]

hi.the last time i came on here the responses were great,thanks.when im in a social situation e.g. even walking down the street,i get incredibly anxious and so self conscious about the way i walk that it gets impossible walking normally like everyone else.i know this may sound like such a stupid post but its been really bugging me for the last year or so.i even try my best to avoid going out to places anywhere like bars ect because of this.And because i feel that everyone out there judges me negatively it gets me really down.

[WILL0W]

Hi,

you probably have this picture of yourself as looking ridiculous but it is very unlikely what other people see. People with social phobia tend to think they are strange or ridiculous in some way but that is the image we have of ourselves. Unfortunately there are some stupid people usually kids/teens who enjoy picking everyone apart and making fun but they would target anyone alone walking down the road.

it is painful feeling that self conscious, have you read any self-help books to build your confidence?
Best wishes
Willow.

[Di]

hi this is my first post, just joined the site today. It's funny you should say that, I get same problem with the walking.

I have a slight limp and am very conscious about the way I walk. I've always had the limp but think as I'm getting older its got worse. I can be walking along fine then as soon as I see someone and think they are looking at me I can hardly move my legs. I feel very wobbly, got a bit of a problem with my balance anyway due to leg problem but most of the time it only happens when I feel someone is watching me. Crossing the road can be hell. Most days when I go out to work I convince myself the neighbors are looking out of their window thinking 'there's she goes again, waddling along'.

A couple of my friends know how I get and we laugh together about the ridiculousness of it, as if they are all watching out the window with nothing better to do each day than watch me. Still doesn't stop the feelings though does it? I avoid going to town now on my own, although I do do a 5 minute walk to work each day, part of the way on my own but I'm usually feeling pretty anxious by the time I get there.

Do you have a problem with walking?

[uk guy]

sorry about the delay in posting a reply.i have started to read self help books to boost my confidence and self esteem.i think im slowly making progress.And Di,i dont understand what you meant have i got a problem walking?

[Di]

Hi Uk guy, I just wondered if you had a problem like me, I've got a slight limp and I tend to be very conscious of it. You said ''I get incredibly anxious and so self conscious about the way i walk''

I've had a limp since I was a child, was born with mild spinabifida and like willow says some people can be cruel, my husband didn't even notice it when we first met but to be honest I think its worse as I've got older.

Only ever had one boy say something to my face, well actually I overheard him saying something to a group of lads but it only takes one time and it something you never forget even after all these years. Now when I'm having a bad day and not feeling very confident I feel sure people are looking at me walk.

Di x

[uk guy]

I think the reason why i am so self conscious and anxious about the way i walk is because i can be walking fine on my own, but then my legs turn to jelly when im walking around other people and because i focus on it so much(the way i walk)i start to think other people can notice my legs shaking,and for me its like a vicious circle because the more my legs wobble the more down i get,and the more down i get the more my legs wobble.But since ive started posting on this website about this issue, things are getting much better.

[Ma Larkin]

I'm not conscious about my walking (my nickname was penguin at school so I should be really lol!), but do any of you suffer from leg jerks? This only started when my panic attacks started. My legs shoot out as if someone is testing my reflexes, kind of like a nervous twitch. It happens loads of times a day & is really embarrassing!

Les

[Di]

Hi Les, no I can't say I suffer from leg jerks, my 'bad' foot does go into a sort of spasm when I get nervous and turns outwards but I've put that down to my disability, my physio says its due to the nerve being damaged.

Your leg jerks must be really embarrassing for you although like most of the things we worry about I doubt anyone else notices. Would be interesting to hear if other people have this problem too.

Take care

Di x

[arethaire]

Hi uk guy .....
I am very conscious when walking too, more so when I'm alone & I have to walk past people, my legs feel like jelly as if they are going to collapse beneath me!

& Di, I walk with a slight limp too from my sciatica (nerve damage) I have had this for about 10 yrs or more, but I'm not sure if it's because of this or if I was like it before the limp!!! LOL

Cath x

[Di]

Hi Cath, I live near a community college and have to pass loads of youngsters most days, on a bad day if I see a crowd of them and I have to pass them, I've even changed my route and walked the long way to work. I'm not half as bad when I'm walking with someone though.

Next time I get that 'feeling' I shall try and think of the rest of you and maybe I won't feel so daft lol, not that I wish it on anyone else but its good to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Di x

[uk guy]

Over the last few weeks ive been trying to work on ways to overcome this problem.since im not the only one with this problem,i thought id share my idea.one method ive been using is to try to focus my attention outwards,externally rather than inward focus on the way i walk.this may seem pretty obvious but when i walk down the street i try to look at things around me and try and focus on those things.it might work for some people with this issue.
As hard as ive been trying, its not doing anything for me,thats why im writing this post.
Im sure there must be some way to overcome this.

[Di]

Hi Uk guy, I think you are right. The other day I set out on my short journey to work, I only had to go across the road and into the next street to meet a friend who I walk to work with. She got the day mixed up and thought she was meeting me somewhere else. When I realized what had happened I carried on walking wondering which direction she would go? Would she be waiting for me at the shop? Should I just carry on to work or would she be waiting and be late herself?

Anyway by the time I had thought about all these things I was almost at work and met her on the way. My point is I was so busy thinking about other things I forgot to panic! Ok I was panicking a bit about missing my friend but as I'm sure you will know its a different sort of panic than walking on my own.

Normally when I go out all I can think about is the actual act of walking on my own, not about where I'm going, why I'm going there etc.

As you said it helps to concentrate on external things, its not always easy though is it? If you find anything that helps you along the way I'd love to know.

Take care

Di x

[emma chant]

Hi uk guy,
When i didn't have nooooo confidence at tall i felt just like you.
But i'm a bit more confident now and i walk on my own and feel
a bit anxious but not so much.
Do you walk alot of the time on your own??
x

e chant

[uk guy]

hi emma, i used to walk lots on my own but then i started avoiding it, because by the time i got to where i wos going i wos so anxious it felt unbearable. But i knew that avoiding walking on my own wouldnt solve the problem,cos id still be anxious the next time i had to do it.
For me,i know that even talking about a problem can help a little bit.And just a few weeks ago i went nearly 2 weeks without feeling at all anxious.
So i know that im improving.