xfilme
05-01-12, 01:18
Today I went to the doctors. I had an appointment booked for monday but my fears were getting too much and I needed to be seen faster, so they managed to squeeze me in this afternoon.
Ive been fretting over my left breast for a good while now. My mum passed away after breast cancer in 2008 and I guess this is my biggest trigger. I went about 5 months ago and had a breast examination and the doc found nothing. i went a month later because i still had a prickling sensation and had a different doc give me a breast examination. Still nothing.
I went out NYE and woke at 6am the next morning really hot, so i took off my top I had been sleeping in. My left breast looked weird to me.But Health Anxiety has a way of making things look weird. Five months previously, when i had the pricking sensation, i picked and prodded so much,a small spot came up and after investigation I found a small hair offcut (from cutting my dads hair a few days before) that had imbedded in my skin. I picked at this spot out of paranoia for about 6 weeks. Making the area little swollen.
Today when i saw the doc, she gave me a breast exam and said again that she felt nothing. I asked her three times if she definitely didnt see a raised patch where the spot had been 4-5 months previously. SHe is very aware of my health anxiety and is the same doctor that had given me the previous breast check. After questioning her as to whether she was sure she saw nothing, she took a step back, and looked again and said "now you mention it, maybe it does look slightly different" She changed her mind very quickly. She said although she is 99% sure its nothing, because she knew I was worrying so much and because of my mum, she would refer me for a breast screening. She said for a routine screening it would take up to 3 months and make my health anxiety go crazy. SHe said it would only take two weeks to be seen if I got referred to the cancer care screening clinic.... but reiterated that she didnt have any reason to believe it was cancer, it was just the fastest route to get seen with my anxiety. She said "Ill be straight with you. If i did think it was cancer, I WOULD tell you". She said she felt nothing but would refer me for my benefit and her peace of mind.
So now Im a bit freaked. Part of me is saying "if she felt no lump, why the referral". Another part says, I know she's considerate about your health anxiety but can that really the the reason she's referring you to the cancer clinic". And another part is saying "Maybe she's trying to teach you a lesson by sending you for a full examination so you dont keep coming back about the same problem every 3 months".
So reassurance please.... how often do people get referred, fast track without any great suspicions of any thing wrong just because of anxiety.... if there was something really wrong, isnt it likely the three gp's would have felt something? Im terrified of tests. Today has been my worst nightmare. Im sorry for rambling on, but I could really do with some non-scary words of support.... anyone???
Ive been fretting over my left breast for a good while now. My mum passed away after breast cancer in 2008 and I guess this is my biggest trigger. I went about 5 months ago and had a breast examination and the doc found nothing. i went a month later because i still had a prickling sensation and had a different doc give me a breast examination. Still nothing.
I went out NYE and woke at 6am the next morning really hot, so i took off my top I had been sleeping in. My left breast looked weird to me.But Health Anxiety has a way of making things look weird. Five months previously, when i had the pricking sensation, i picked and prodded so much,a small spot came up and after investigation I found a small hair offcut (from cutting my dads hair a few days before) that had imbedded in my skin. I picked at this spot out of paranoia for about 6 weeks. Making the area little swollen.
Today when i saw the doc, she gave me a breast exam and said again that she felt nothing. I asked her three times if she definitely didnt see a raised patch where the spot had been 4-5 months previously. SHe is very aware of my health anxiety and is the same doctor that had given me the previous breast check. After questioning her as to whether she was sure she saw nothing, she took a step back, and looked again and said "now you mention it, maybe it does look slightly different" She changed her mind very quickly. She said although she is 99% sure its nothing, because she knew I was worrying so much and because of my mum, she would refer me for a breast screening. She said for a routine screening it would take up to 3 months and make my health anxiety go crazy. SHe said it would only take two weeks to be seen if I got referred to the cancer care screening clinic.... but reiterated that she didnt have any reason to believe it was cancer, it was just the fastest route to get seen with my anxiety. She said "Ill be straight with you. If i did think it was cancer, I WOULD tell you". She said she felt nothing but would refer me for my benefit and her peace of mind.
So now Im a bit freaked. Part of me is saying "if she felt no lump, why the referral". Another part says, I know she's considerate about your health anxiety but can that really the the reason she's referring you to the cancer clinic". And another part is saying "Maybe she's trying to teach you a lesson by sending you for a full examination so you dont keep coming back about the same problem every 3 months".
So reassurance please.... how often do people get referred, fast track without any great suspicions of any thing wrong just because of anxiety.... if there was something really wrong, isnt it likely the three gp's would have felt something? Im terrified of tests. Today has been my worst nightmare. Im sorry for rambling on, but I could really do with some non-scary words of support.... anyone???