eden.eden
05-01-12, 11:51
I am a single home owner (small terraced house) with small mortgage and decent amount of equity in the house. No dependents. Been self employed and struggling to make ends meet for a couple of years doing a job I hate and trying to find something else but not succeeding. I recently had to sign on for Jobseekers as no work on horizon (which doesnt give me enough to cover bills etc). Been struggling with depression for years but only recently asked for help from GP, 5 weeks into meds, (not seeing any improvement yet) and waiting for counselling later this month.
I have an overwhelming desire to escape from all the worry and responsibility, where to I don't know. I read an account in the newspaper the other day about a GP with depression who just upped and left his family and responsibilites and disappeared, and found myself envying him.
It keeps going round in my head that I should sell the house and with it all the need for an immediate job and I could just 'be' instead of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilites.
Rented accommodation would be more than double my monthly mortgage but without the long term ties. I have no relatives I could stay with. My 'sensible head' says it would be silly to do this but I've lived by 'sensible head' all my life and depressed is where it's got me.
I suppose my question is, will I feel differently further along with my treatment, should I stay put for now and ride it out? I feel totally rudderless, have no idea what type of work to aim/train for to make me happy, or where on the planet I want to live. I have good friends but feel dispassionate about them all.
I have an overwhelming desire to escape from all the worry and responsibility, where to I don't know. I read an account in the newspaper the other day about a GP with depression who just upped and left his family and responsibilites and disappeared, and found myself envying him.
It keeps going round in my head that I should sell the house and with it all the need for an immediate job and I could just 'be' instead of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilites.
Rented accommodation would be more than double my monthly mortgage but without the long term ties. I have no relatives I could stay with. My 'sensible head' says it would be silly to do this but I've lived by 'sensible head' all my life and depressed is where it's got me.
I suppose my question is, will I feel differently further along with my treatment, should I stay put for now and ride it out? I feel totally rudderless, have no idea what type of work to aim/train for to make me happy, or where on the planet I want to live. I have good friends but feel dispassionate about them all.