View Full Version : So frightened
hi :)
I've had a severe anxiety disorder for 10 years that came on when i was 40. It got so bad and i was so debilitated by it that i was put on higher care disability. At the beginning i was so terrified like a lot of other sufferers that every pain was something deathly serious and every symptom was cancer or heart attack and it was so awful to live with. Although my condition is still bad i eventually stopped believing everything was fatal and that belief made a lot of the physical symptoms stop. Lately however, especially in the last couple of weeks i feels so ill and frightened again. I went to see my doctor this morning and they had to get 2 doctors in because i was so panicked. The symptoms i am having now and for two weeks are
pain in shoulders and neck with pins and needles in shoulders, neck and head, pain just below ribs in centre that feels like indigestion, pain in mid back that is also burning and aching. Pain in upper and lower back that isn't muscle pain and moves around. constant headache, sore and stiff legs and ankle, knee joints. numbness in forearms and hands. (I actually wrote this out in a list for him) I am treated for high blood pressure with ramipril and i am overweight and have hypothyroidism so do have some physical problems. However, when i told him all of these symptoms he didn't seem worried. I told him i gave up smoking cold turkey 10 days ago and he thinks that might have something to do with it all. the stress etc. However my blood pressure is usually managed with the ramipril and is around 130-140 with it but since i gave up its at 177/90. He wasn't worried about that either and said cigarettes actually can lower blood pressure. that's news to me. I've been so upset today i smoked again and am gutted about that and will stop again now.
I'm so sorry to go on and i know you've heard it before (at least i hope you have) but for some reason in the last 2 weeks i'm so terrified and can't get out of it. I've had anxiety for years and know most of the symptoms but surely some of mine aren't connected. I'm so tired of feeling ill all the time and afraid. I have pain everywhere and every bit of it is something fatal to me. My legs are DVT, the pain in my mid back is cancer, my headache because of blood pressure is going to kill me. on and on. Then recently a couple of months ago because i'm 51 and was having hot flushes and no periods for a year i was put on HRT. Within two days i started having continuous heavy periods and they just kept changing it. I stopped myself with the HRT but am being sent for a scan to check things out. I did read that HRT can start that so hopefully its nothing horrible as it only started with the HRT but its the final straw for me.
So sorry for the ramble and i'm not even sure what I'm asking for. The high blood pressure at the moment is frightening and i don't know why even though he took the reading and saw how high it was he wasn't too bothered.
any advice will be brilliant thanks
hiya,
im so sorry to hear that you go through all this as i know EXACTLY how you feel , i am only 21 and i am in pain all the time i just relate everything to my heart or a brain tumour and it just continues and continues its awful , my life revolves around it and i feel afraid and in pain and tired un-energetic and ill all the time , i get all the exact pains you experience in all of my back arms chest like swirkling burning and itchy pain that makes me feel sick, shooting pain everywhere in my chest and huge muscle spasms in my chest which i feel like i am having a heart attack , im at drama school and finding it so hard to cope with that and all of this , but really dont want to quit ! :(
it drives me insane im so sick of it , i hope that eventually i find the strength to pull through ! xxxxxxxxxxxxx just so you know your not alone atall x
You know quitting smoking can bring on all kinds of crap. The withdrawel from nicotine can play havoc with your nervous system. Its strange how you quit smoking 10 days ago, and you are saying this past 2 weeks all your anxiety-panic symptoms have returned. Coincidence?
Add in memory, this does play such an important role, you quit the fags and start to get natural with drawel symptoms which are very similar to good old panic symptoms, memory strikes, remembers the panic of days gone by and WHAM you are back in the feel a symptom=worry=feel the symptom more= worry= panic= worry= more feeling the symptom= panic ..you see where i am going....
Thanks Lucy. it is good to know we're not alone. its a nasty vile disorder and makes life miserable for so many people. Keep strong hun x
---------- Post added at 23:15 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------
You know quitting smoking can bring on all kinds of crap. The withdrawel from nicotine can play havoc with your nervous system. Its strange how you quit smoking 10 days ago, and you are saying this past 2 weeks all your anxiety-panic symptoms have returned. Coincidence?
Add in memory, this does play such an important role, you quit the fags and start to get natural with drawel symptoms which are very similar to good old panic symptoms, memory strikes, remembers the panic of days gone by and WHAM you are back in the feel a symptom=worry=feel the symptom more= worry= panic= worry= more feeling the symptom= panic ..you see where i am going....
Hi mindful,
Thank you for that. It makes a lot of sense and I only wish my GP had been so clear and helpful. That really has helped me a lot. All i need now is to get my heart to accept what my head knows is right in everything you say. I could kick myself for not connecting the two. Thing is, I've stopped again now. Did go through 20 today though but that's it. So what to do now. I have to give up and think of today as a blip in the last 10 days but if it kicks off my symptoms this badly. The one thing i don't understand is why giving up has raised my blood pressure so much. And if it is connected will the pressure eventually go down again if i stick with it
So glad i joined this forum :)
Thanks Lucy. it is good to know we're not alone. its a nasty vile disorder and makes life miserable for so many people. Keep strong hun x
---------- Post added at 23:15 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------
Hi mindful,
Thank you for that. It makes a lot of sense and I only wish my GP had been so clear and helpful. That really has helped me a lot. All i need now is to get my heart to accept what my head knows is right in everything you say. I could kick myself for not connecting the two. Thing is, I've stopped again now. Did go through 20 today though but that's it. So what to do now. I have to give up and think of today as a blip in the last 10 days but if it kicks off my symptoms this badly. The one thing i don't understand is why giving up has raised my blood pressure so much. And if it is connected will the pressure eventually go down again if i stick with it
So glad i joined this forum :)
Ok so you go forward with your quitting with the knowledge that withdrawel is going to bring on similar feelings and sensations that WILL remind you of panic, but hey thats ok, withdrawel will end, you will be able to go through each day knowing that you are ok, its just anxiety rearing its ugly head at a time when your defences are a bit broken due to quitting smoking , thats all thats happening.
I am no doctor but to me it all seems so obvious, you quit smoking, start to get the crappy withdrawel feelings- memory comes along and associates the withdrawel feelings to panic- you worry, you stress, you worry some more and your blood pressure rises, i should imagine that when you are calm your blood pressure will become calm. We all know that when we panic our blood pressure shoots up, stress, anxiety, quitting smoking, worry all in 2 weeks. I think anyones blood pressure would rocket dont you? x
---------- Post added at 23:40 ---------- Previous post was at 23:37 ----------
Also take a look at your own words from your original post there sweetie
You said - i eventually stopped believing everything was fatal and that belief made a lot of the physical symptoms stop-
You will be just fine x
Thank you :) You've really helped me a lot. I'll remember what you said xx
You're welcome.. and hey well done you on quitting smoking.. x
Knowing is half the battle. Once you've experienced it, and then if you can 'add' the association of "hey...but I'm still here, aren't I" you can maybe tame the PA/fright before it explodes? Worked for me tonight :)
Doug
happycarrot
07-01-12, 04:57
If you've only had one strange blood pressure reading, then I wouldn't expect your doctor to be too concerned about it. Lots of things can make your blood pressure temporarily go up. If you continue having high readings he will probably want to look into it.
You are really doing great to be working so hard on quitting smoking. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day sometimes. You are very strong to resist the temptation to smoke, but nobody is perfect. Just remember that tomorrow is a new opportunity to do better. You'll get through the withdrawal and feel so much better.
has been high for the last week at least because i have a home pressure monitor. he still wasn't worried though so i guess that means i shouldn't be. Have put a nicotine patch on today. wanted to stop cold turkey but obviously that doesn't work me :) wish me luck with it and thanks everyone xx
hi,
Sorry to be back but i have nobody else to speak to. I tried to listen to the sensible answers but today i'm so sure i'm going to die that i've been writing out contact numbers of people for my 16 year old son as i have no extended family. I've been getting worse not better. In the other posts i said i'd given up smoking on 27th. I started again yesterday because i was simply unable to cope. I'm now broke anyway so from tomorrow have to give up again. I'm trying so hard to put my symptoms down to anxiety but some i'm just unable to. The blood pressure is scaring me. Last night it was 183/100. Don't know what it was when Doctor took it on Friday but he said it was high and said was because i was anxious. I've tried to say that the reason i was anxious was because its been so high even with medication for 2 weeks but he wasn't bothered or worried. My symptoms are getting worse. I have the constant headache from the blood pressure which is making me worse. My chest is tight which i know can be anxiety. My head feels so heavy and under pressure. I feel nauseous. I just want to not be so scared. My two older children are miles away and i can hardly ever get hold of them and my poor 16 year old has to put up with me. If something happens to me he has nobody to look after him. I feel like i'm 80 years old. So fatigued i can hardly walk. Surely having this high blood pressure for a couple of weeks will make my heart give out. Over the last 2 weeks even when i'm calm its high and i don't understand why its suddenly kicked in. I have nobody here, no friends because of my anxiety i pushed everyone away. My two older children are always having problems and needing my help. My 16 year old is wonderful but i'm afraid he's going to end up hating me.
Is there anyone who knows anything about blood pressure and is there any hope that it is down to my anxiety and that the heart can cope with it for a long time before it shuts down.
I know people will think i'm totally away with the fairies but i can't cope anymore. i don't want to die and leave my son and i've a horrible feeling that some of this can't be put down to anxiety and there is something terribly wrong.
Hi, sorry to hear that you are having a yucky day,i am as well. Are you on anti anxiety meds at all? Blood pressure is a silly thing, it can go up and down like a yoyo. A few weeks ago in the middle of a panic attack i had mine done and it was over 130 so i sat there for a few mins and then asked the doc to read it again and it had gone down. Dont be too worried about the readings as it fluctuates and as its on your mind sub consciously you are feeling it more and as such every little twinge or pain worries you. It could even be a side effect of your medication as well. Go with it, dont google it and take small steps . Dont forget you tried to give up smoking as well and that is going to be a bit weird for a while. I know EXACTLY what you feel and i think a lot of us here do. We fear the fear and then the body reacts by giving us aches and pains. Have you read Claire Weekes? That book helped me a lot. I do hope and i know you will feel better soon. Lots of Love
I haven't been on anxiety meds for nearly 4 years because none of them worked for me. If i have a particularly bad few days they will prescribe diazapam in the little 2mg dose and tell me to take as many as help. That's it though. I actually hate myself at the moment for putting my teenage son through this. I'm in constant pain in various parts of my back, am light headed. My headache won't go and i'm just so tired to the point its an effort to stand up. I want to believe its all anxiety but the BP is really really high even when not panicked. I'm also having to go through menopause symptoms on top of that and i'm absolutely lost at the moment. The only medication i'm on is levothyroxine for Hypothyroidism and ramipril for blood pressure.
Thank you for answering. I'm embarrassed that i'm such a pain.
sickandtired
08-01-12, 14:38
I take Ramapril 10mg and a while ago they had to add Amlopidine alongside,because my BP was up again.....as high as 210/120 !!! Im surprised I didnt collapse!
I was having headaches and seeing little silvery slithers and going dizzy,plus I was anaemic as well....my blood count was 8.
try not to worry too much about blood pressure readings...they will be higher with anxiety and higher still when you see the doctor.He will be monitoring you,but I would tell him about the headaches.
My doctor said he had to be careful about BP meds ,they had to be built up slowly,because if say you start with 10mg of Ramapril instead of a lower dose of 5mg and your BP readings are much higher because of anxiety,then you would be at risk of stroke(because of the high dose of meds) ,because the anxiety would have given a false reading,if you get my meaning??
My BP is under control now,but on my last visit it was 170/100 even with my meds and doctor said it was my anxiety causing the high reading.
Its most likely a tension headache, try massaging the point between your thumb and forefinger, the fleshy area there. Its an acupressure point and helps.
miss polly
08-01-12, 15:58
Hi toodles ~ I'm so sorry you're going through this. We could be twins! I'm 50 and I'm terrified I'm going to die and leave my 16 year old son without me. I'm sure your anxiety is at the root of all your physical symptoms. It's incredible what an influence our minds have on our body.
My blood pressure was about 220/110 and I was so completely terrified I immediately went on a diet and lost weight. Apparently even a small drop in weight can lower bp. It's now 110/65. Unlike you I haven't managed to stop smoking or even attempt to but that's next on my list. My initial bp was taken at home when I was relatively calm so goodness knows how much higher it would have been in a doctors office. Your bp will probably be a lot lower than that when you are at home and calmer and your headache in all probability has nothing to do with your bp, but everything to do with anxiety!. It's my understanding bp has to be a lot higher than your reading to cause a headache.
I'm still having periods but am perimenopausal and oh my goodness it's enough to turn a person completely insane!! The hormone fluctuations are horrendous. Anxiety, palpitations, depression etc etc. Honestly toodles, you're not dying or even ill, it's just good old anxiety trying it's best to drive us crazy! Take care :hugs:
Hi toodles ~ I'm so sorry you're going through this. We could be twins! I'm 50 and I'm terrified I'm going to die and leave my 16 year old son without me. I'm sure your anxiety is at the root of all your physical symptoms. It's incredible what an influence our minds have on our body.
My blood pressure was about 220/110 and I was so completely terrified I immediately went on a diet and lost weight. Apparently even a small drop in weight can lower bp. It's now 110/65. Unlike you I haven't managed to stop smoking or even attempt to but that's next on my list. My initial bp was taken at home when I was relatively calm so goodness knows how much higher it would have been in a doctors office. Your bp will probably be a lot lower than that when you are at home and calmer and your headache in all probability has nothing to do with your bp, but everything to do with anxiety!. It's my understanding bp has to be a lot higher than your reading to cause a headache.
I'm still having periods but am perimenopausal and oh my goodness it's enough to turn a person completely insane!! The hormone fluctuations are horrendous. Anxiety, palpitations, depression etc etc. Honestly toodles, you're not dying or even ill, it's just good old anxiety trying it's best to drive us crazy! Take care :hugs:
omg you're right our experiences are almost identical. Thank you so much for replying. I know when my high BP was first diagnosed it was because i had a constant headache for a week and I do seem to have that symptom when its high. I wish i knew why its been so much higher than usual for the last 2 weeks but someone said before that it seems to have coincided with giving up smoking. I have to quit again tomorrow :( As for Menopause, I was ok until they started me on HRT a few weeks ago which i had to stop 2 weeks later because it restarted heavy periods etc that i hadn't had in a year. I'm hoping its all these things combined that have kicked in my anxiety to a higher level. I'm trying really hard to believe that. This forum is the only place i have to talk to anyone as i have no extended family apart from my children. I am only 5ft 3" and weight about 12 stone so am around 3 stone overweight. I know i need to lose weight but am always so tired. My son has got me a wii and wii fit which i am going to start tomorrow. I am going to lose weight no matter what it takes.
Thank you again for replying :)
miss polly
08-01-12, 18:03
You're never alone here toodles! If you ever want to pm for a chat, I pop on and off here all day.
I feel tired a lot too. I think anxiety is exhausting to the mind and body. We're on a constant high alert which is completely draining. I do think if you could possibly manage to lose a little weight your bp would come down. An added benefit would be more energy. I still have the same stupid health worries but I do feel better since losing weight and definitely have more energy and more get up and go.
It's very probable that the HRT has added fuel to your anxiety. Hopefully it will settle down.
Good luck with the weight loss! I know you can do it! Take care:hugs:
Thank you for the help and i'll do everything I can to lose weight :)
carefree68
08-01-12, 19:35
Hey Toodles I quit Smoking Cold Turkey last year, bad idea should have done it gradually its a lot to put on your body. I felt terrible had exact same symptoms as you mine lasted a 2 month (it depends person to person) but eventually they did fade and now I feel huge benefits from giving up. Well done Keep Going, Keep posting.
:hugs:
thank you for letting me know. I'm going to have go get some patches then i think. did give up for 2 years before using those. Regret the day i ever sat on Plymouth Hoe with my friends when I was 16 and we all shared a cigarette for the first time and a bottle of cider :) I don't drink thank God, but an overweight smoker I am.
carefree68
10-01-12, 10:19
I totally agree wish I never started. But I am 7 months on and although I put a bit of weight on and felt like rubbish for 2 months I am now reaping the benefits, especially in the purse. I love a drink but no so much now I have given up smoking, so thats a bonus too. I promise it will get better thing always get worse before they get better. You really have to do it for you though otherwise you wont stick to it. Good luck Hun and keep posting. xx:yesyes:
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