Really, really desperate...

[emmasaurus]

After almost a year on medication (I’m currently taking three different drugs), two months of psychotherapy and three months of CBT, I’m still suffering from regular panic attacks. And every time I have a panic attack, I think, ‘it’s different this time; this time it’s for real; I’m dying’. I just can’t seem to rationalise the (constant) physical symptoms I feel – not on my own, anyway. It’s been a good ten months since I was able to spend more than six hours on my own, and at twenty-six (as you can well imagine) that’s both embarrassing and impractical: I’ve had to give up my job, and while my boyfriend works I stay at my parents’ place (as my mum works just up the road, and I need to know I have somebody nearby). Prior to becoming ill, my boyfriend and I were planning several months’ travel, marriage, kids – the lot. I was really independent. Now, it’s all I can do to get through the day, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. I’m so isolated and depressed; I don’t know what to do.

[william wallace]

You're not isolated Emma, you have a very supportive boyfriend, parents, and NMP:hugs:

[blingkasa]

What meds are you on?

[Carys]

Awwww Emma, I really feel for you. I really don't know what to say other than sometimes things can take a bit longer. Maybe your meds need reviewing ?

We will listen to you, don't feel alone there are lots of people feeling the same way as you right now. A full recovery is possible it just takes that moment of realising that panic attacks don't harm you.....and taking the fear out of them. You even know that, but you've not got there just yet. :weep:

[emmasaurus]

Thanks, guys. It's good to know there's someone listening.

Oh. And, I'm taking Mirtazapine, Quetiapine and Pregabalin.

[Carys]

That's quite a collection isn't it ! If all three are doing nothing to help after 12 months then a review surely is necessary.

You also know that the key to this is within yourself, you just can't find that key to stop fearing the panic attacks. I am sorry, it must be so hard, when you know what to do but can't quite yet make yourself believe.