bereavement

[jaded jean]

I lost my mum 4 weeks ago . I am beginning to feel I am 'losing it' a bit . work seem totally oblivious to how I am feeling ,especially when I asked to go home early yesterday as I was feeling 'off' and I got asked well what has bought this on?? what do you do?? I am getting counselling soon but this interim period should be interesting.:shrug::shrug:

[mandie]

Hi

I am so sorry for your loss.

Well your work are not very sympathetic are they?

Its no wonder you were feeling off, its very early days for you.

mandie xx

[nomorepanic]

So sorry to hear about your loss Jean. I really do feel for you and sending you loads of love xxx

[macc noodle]

Jean

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

If I were you, I would gather up my courage and speak to a senior member of staff and explain how hard you are finding the loss of your mum and that you are awaiting counselling to deal with this. You may well find that they are more sympathetic.

Equally, sometimes people find it hard to know what to say to bereaved people and that maybe the reaction was more of a general comment in response to your request and that they did not want to upset you any further by alluding to your loss.

Thinking of you.

Macc Noodle.
xx

PS I also wanted to say do try and keep working as it makes you focus on something other than your grief and sadness. xxx

[jaded jean]

Thank you all for your supportive comments -I aim to keep working as I know I will go into freefall emotionally if I didnt and I cant do that not again anyway . I will let you know how I get on with the counselling . Thanks again lovely people xxxx

[june]

So sorry to hear your sad news.
I agree with Mac that - if you can, then keep on working. But also have a word with your boss or whoever is in charge - explain your loss.
It is one of those awkward situations - people do not know until you tell them!!!!
You think common sense would help them to understand how you are feeling, sadly that is not the case.
Best wishes to you
June
xx

[JT69]

Hi matey,

So sorry to hear of your loss...not a good time either.

Yes if poss keep on working...occupy the mind.

Take care of you.

Lots of love hun.
Jo.xxx

[lizzie29]

So sorry to hear your sad news. As has already been said, 4 weeks is not long ago and you're bound to be feeling down about it. As has also been said, speaking to work may help, especially if there's someone you know will be more sympathetic.

Take care x

[jaded jean]

Thanks again for the additional replies peeps. I am contacting Bupa as we get this thru work so taking advantage of it. I am working but screwing up sometimes:doh: I think I must be at the depressed stage now -it wormed its way into my dreams where I find myself asking anybody to please help me as I cant go on any more then waking up with the good old chatterbox going again -I havent heard that for months and months . life and death really suck sometimes:weep:

[Connor_cbt]

Firstly you have my deepest sympathy, losing a parent is a sadness
and a shock at whatever time of your life it happens. We've all
heard about 'the stages of grief' and they are a good guide, but they
are not set in stone and each person will obviously handle things
differently. Did you return to work straight away or did you allow
yourself a little time to come to terms with your loss? Sometimes
we throw ourselves into work to keep our mind busy but what we
actually do is avoid grieving completely and this avoidance creates
a tension that only comes back later on. Keeping busy is a good
idea but you should allow yourself time to mourn the passing of
your mother its a healthy process we all need to go through. I really
hope you have a good counselling session and give yourself the
space you need to allow your emotions to surface and set them at
ease.

All the best,

[ElizabethJane]

Jean I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I am recently bereaved too. My Father died last April and we are still winding up his estate. I still have to sort out the headstone too. The loss of your Mum will feel 'raw' for some time to come. The dreams and feelings of 'losing it' are all part of the grieving process. It isn't something that you can put away in a drawer. This is the most important person in your life? it is right to be feeling like this. There are practical things like remembering to eat and drink. Talk to someone at least once a day. There is no set pattern to grieving. I still go over some aspects of my Dad's last days in hospital. If you need time to just 'be' and listen to music or cry then allow yourself to do that. I'll be thinking about you in the next few weeks and months. EJ

[watertheatre]

came across your post on berevement you right I threw my self into work after my mum died in a car crash last april found out from police onmothers day.mum was always a one for work and working no matter how ill she felt. now nearly a year on 2nd april i am crap ever since my bday in feb been feeling crap as mum and i were never close but got a bday text.and finding out her death on mothers day be the police been crap.last oct my dad lost his mum my grandma also my bf lost his step dad in june at min i coping through drink not good

[sam66]

My thoughts are also with you Jean, its awful losing someone you love so much, be careful, I threw myself into work, kids, other peoples stuff, put your 'brave face' on and carry on.
You do need time to mourn, to take on that loss and cope with it, if you can do that and still work good on ya, but perhaps some long overdue holiday could be taken just to give you a break for a short time and gather your feelings up?

Best wishes