View Full Version : My most terrible news.....
Hello All.
I’ve been through the worst two weeks of my life.
My dear Dad died a week ago at the age of 55. He’d been diagnosed with terminal cancer, was told on last Friday and sadly died a week ago today.
I cant begin to tell you how numb I feel. I feel so empty that I don’t even know what to say from one hour to the next. I’ve had to leave my Mum back in the Lake District as my wife and I are living in Worcester at the minute. The drive back to the Midlands was agonising today as all I wanted to do was stay with my Mum and family to support and be there for her/them.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do to get over this. I miss him so much.
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.
hi dan
i am so sorry to hear about your dad - it must have been traumatic for you and your family.
it is normal to feel so numb at the moment as you have had such a shock.
Take care dan and my thoughts are with you and your family
Darkangel
........life is for living not just for surviving
Hi Dan, I sadly lost my father with cancer after nursing him at home, I feel in these circumstances it happens so suddenly it is a big shock, there is nothing much I can say, it does get easier, just try to take minute by minute, hour by hour, it is very difficult there is no denying, thinking of you, xxxx
nomorepanic
11-06-06, 21:27
Dan
So sorry to hear this news.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Nicola
thanks guys.
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.
Hi Dan, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to cancer nearly nine years ago, it was a shock it took about a month from diagnosis to him dying so i had a little more time but boy it is a shock. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Take care
Daisybun
'This too will pass'
Dan,
I am so sorry for your loss, and anyone is going to feel numb, especially when he died so quickly and so young.
In time, I hope that you will be able to celebrate your Dad's life and take comfort in that his illness was not as prolonged as some.
Meanwhile, this is a time for comfort through grief.
My condolences to you and your family.
Take Care,
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
Hi Dan,
Again, Im sorry to hear of your news. My brother died 6 years ago aged 46. It is a shock, even if your are expecting it. So if your not, then it the shock is double.
Like others have said time does heal, and how ever you feel, go with it. Everybody grieves in different ways.
Rays comment of celebrating your dads life is nice. I was given a lovely poem from my brothers funeral. If you are interested, let me have your email address and I will type it up for you. It may help you, or at least feel more at ease.
Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.
Emma xx
Keep focused, keep positive.
dan so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.thinking of you and your family at this very sad time
take care rachel x
PurpleRain
11-06-06, 22:30
Im so sorry to hear about your loss Dan. I lost my mother to cancer and understand the pain you feel.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Take good care xx
marie ross
11-06-06, 23:49
Dan,
So very sorry to hear about your sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family, god bless.
Take care.
Marie XXX
Dear Dan, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Take Care
Love Helen
Dan,
I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad when he was 58 and it was such a shock...it rocks your whole world. Of course you will be numb...just go with your feelings whatever they are, everyone grieves in their own way.
I'm thinking of you and your family.
Love Coni X
You know, waking up and reading all of your kind, kind words is a real beautiful thing. Thank you all so much for the messages. I was unsure if I should have posted this thread on here as I dont want anyone to think that I'm using it for something it's not designed for (if that makes sense).
After Dads funeral, I Was sat on the beach just looking up at the sky and trying to make sense of it all. I've never been a very religious person, but, call it a need to believe or a crutch to get me through, but I really feel like Dad is looking down on everything that has been going on.
To be totally honest, I feel like I'm struggling to believe that its all actually 'happened'. I just cant really get a handle on the past two weeks, but maybe thats the shock??
Thankyou again so much for the time you took to post your messages.
Love to you all.
Dan
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.
Paddington
12-06-06, 11:42
dear Dan,i am so sorry to hear of your dad's early death,Like so many here i too lost my dad to cancer,and so many others too,all young.The shock and grief is all consuming some days you will find ,and other days it is as tho it hasn't happened,it is coming to terms with the loss Dan,and it will take many forms .I am so glad you feel your dad around you,iwas sceptical when my dad died but,he has made his presence felt shall we say!?You keep talking Dan,it does help,and is so much better than what the majority of people do,which is keepit all locked away!It must have been so hard for you to leave your mom too.You will be on a roller coasterof emotion for a while yet,so let it out Dan.Thinking of you love Mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
Im so sorry.
I cannot even think what to say
to something so taumatic.
You are in my thoughts....Take care xxx
Hay x
Hi Dan
so sorry to hear of your loss.
Your an your family are in my thoughts an prayers.
xxxx
sford
Hi, I am so very sorry to hear of your awful loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this awful time. I believe you are in shock, take things slowly. I, too, am not religious at all, but believe my dad still looks down upon me. take care and take things one day at a time xxxxxxxxxxjean
Hi Dan,
I really don't know where I would start to cope with what you're going through. You're obviously extremely strong.
Just wanted to offer my personal sympathy and hope today is better than yesterday but not better than tomorrow.
I'm so very very sorry.:(
All the very best to you and yours.
Sharron
I AM AT EASE
I AM AT PEACE
I AM CALM
I AM LETTING GO
honeybee3939
12-06-06, 16:39
Hi Dan,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss,
you are in my thoughts, god bless you all.
Love
Andrea
xxx
Southern_Belle
12-06-06, 17:49
Hi Dan,
I too am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Bel
"Our thoughts are our reality"
I'm so sorry Dan. My Dad died of a massive heart attack 12 years ago. He was alive when I went to bed and dead when I woke up in the morning. I can so understand what you are going through.
Ray is very wise - all I can say is the pain and sadness you feel at the moment will slowly be replaced with the fondest of memories.
Take it easy xxxx
I really feel for you and your family at this sad time. My dad died of bowel cancer quite a few years ago. I stilll miss him but now when I think of him I see his face and I smile.
LOTS OF ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Jenny xxxxx
Hello Dan, just wanted to add my condolences to you at this difficult time. I lost my Dad 5 years ago in July. There are some very good bereavment councellors at 'cruise' that you may find helpful once the initial shock has subdued. I was told to write a letter to my dad to put down anything i wish i'd said/tie up any unresolved issues etc, then either put it away somewhere or dispose of it. I found this did help slightly.
Thinking of you, India x
hey Dan,
Really sorry to hear your sad news.. It is so sad, so dont be afraid to cry or let out any emotion. My dad died too when I was 21 and I miss him so much and i'm 30 now. I promise it gets easier, but nobody really understands unless they have been through it. I think of him every day and I know he is out there somewhere. Your dad will also be 'with you' and looking down on you from wherever and being proud of you.
Share your emotions - it will help in the long run..
take time out for you..
big hugs,
lisa
xxx
"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"
Hi Dan, yes I agree with Lisa, cry and let out any emotions,if it helps posting on here then do so, I have with my marraige split up and it really does help, the most important thing is to go through the process of grieving, I didnt and its reared its ugly head a few years later and Im receiving help now.
Still thinking of you and your family. Take care.xx
Hi Dan
Sorry to hear your sad news. Words can seem so futile at a time like this but your numbness will pass as you work through the grief. I lost my dad at a young age too and also my brother 4 years ago when he was only 43 so i understand how you feel.
I was touched to read about you on the beach almost searching for religious belief, a crutch and feeling that your dad was looking down on you. I'm not a religious person but i can tell you that your dad will always be with you. You'll keep him and his love alive in your heart and thoughts.
The shock will pass. Time will heal you.
May
The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun
Hi Dan,
I am sooo sorry to hear about your loss.
Just want to say that my heart and my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.
LOVE JILLXXX
again,
thankyou all so much for the kind messages. It has been a real hurdle, but I have returned to work today. All I wanted to do was to stay at home and potter about. I really was dreading coming back. But, at least its keeping me busy.
I cant tell you how much I appreciate all of the words of warmth and kindness. You are all wonderful people and the world is a better place for having you in it.
Dan
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.
Hia ,
Just wanted to offer my sympathy to you and your family at this awfull time.We lost my mum in law 12 months ago this week she was in her 50's its a shock and its hard to even accept for quite a while,and like you we are not religious but we know our departed are watching over us.
Take care and eventually the happy memories will take away some of the heartache...cheryl xx
Paddington
13-06-06, 14:52
hi Dan,how is today?You have gone back to work ,that is good if it feels good,BUT if you have days when you want to potter ,do it!Others may not handle your grief,and you may srart to bottleit up whilst at work,please dont!Keep talking to us and your family,then the grief wont escalate into another bout of anxiety[which is what happened to me!]sobe careful Dan ,it's early days!Thinking of you.love mary-rose.xxxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
Hi Dan,
I haven't been on the site for a while and I've just found your news about your Dad - what a shock. I'm so so sorry. You are clearly being incredibly brave and courageous. I wish there was more I could do than just drop you a line. You have been through such a lot this year, I hope you take a lot of encouragement from the fact that you have coped and coped well with all the pressure and distress. My thoughts really go out to you, with all the sympathy I have to offer.
Take care of yourself, take time to grieve and remember, go easy, and my thoughts like so many others' here, go with you.
Many condolences and warm wishes, Dan mate,
Jason
leanne1980
15-06-06, 07:53
hi dan
im so so sorry to hear about your loss, i lost my mum 6 years ago at the age of 41, its terrible.
keep strong
Leanne xx
Dan
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. You are so caring to want to stay and support your Mum. When things like this happen I just try to keep in mind that old saying 'time is a great healer' It sounds crap at the time & no help at all, but some days just wishing for time to pass by so that things can feel different again is the best comfort.
I try to keep thinking of all the best memories I can and feel gratefull that such a person was in my life.
I am sorry if this all sounds awfull to you and I hope I haven't made you feel worse!! But I so want to help when you feel so bad.
Cat
Hi Dan
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Here's wishing you strength to get through these difficult days.
KatiePie
Hi Dan,
Been away for a while so I'm a bit late getting back to you.
Anyway, so sorry for your loss. My step dad committed suicide the day after I found out I was pregnant and I have known a few people die of that horrid disease- my uncle last year at 44. It sounds like you have a good support network and I hope you come through this tough time.
Shiv x
PanickyPolly
18-06-06, 19:11
So sorry Dan *hugs*. I lost my nan when she was relitively young and I still feel it. Every day I miss her but it does get better I promise. Time does heal. Sounds a cliche I know but it's true. In the meantime hold on to your friends and family.
chucklehound
18-06-06, 22:14
Hi Dan, I am so sorry to hear about your loss... Just to let you know, you and your family are in my thoughts.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
Take care
Chuckle
xxxx
Dan I am soo Sorry about Your Dad. I lost my dad when I was 16 and he went really suddenly too. I pray that God blesses and keeps you and your family during such a hard time
worrying is alot Like a Rocking Chair It is something todo but it won't get you anywhere
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.