BAck Again

[Dusty]

I'm back again. It's been months since I was last here. Everything was going so well until this weekend. Then a busy weekend followed by the knowledge my husband - my major support - is away this coming week leaving me to cope with the kids alone has started the insomnia again. Add the really hot weather and mix well. And I feel I can't go on.

I'm sitting here at 1am, tears pouring down my face, and I feel so alone. He's in the house, he knows I'm crying but he also has to be up at the crack of dawn to catch a train to london. Am I being seflish? Am I wrong to expect support?

And do you want to know the daft thing? This all started because I went down for a hot cup of milk and found the fridge empty of any.

He's just come in!!

I'll let you know what happens. But please if you read this think about me and hope I pull through again. I haven't taken valium for motnhs and months but I have had two in the lasr 48 hours.

Dusty xx

PMT - Proof that God must be a man.

[Daisybun]

Dusty i am so sorry that you feel this bad. It's a shock isn't it when anxiety hits you after a good patch, I think it makes it worse in a way as you think you're OK then wham! Don't panic, you've felt better before and you will again, I've been on diazepam for last month due to panic but I'm coming off it now and working it out. You'll get there. Sometimes it just gets a bit much and our bodies and minds can't cope, just take one bit at a time, it will pass honest. Thinking of you

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[panicdiva]

Dusty, I am so sorry that you are feeling that horrible panic & anxiety again. I would not like it either if my husband had to go away for a week leaving me to cope with the kids on my own. HOwever, focus on the fact that you have been doing really well for quite awhile now which proves that you can cope. Also, give yourself a break & don't be so hard on yourself about having to take some meds again. Give yourself permission to feel the anxiety again but tell yourself it will pass, it has done in the past so it will again. Also, try not to think of the whole week spread out before you - instead try just to think of coping with each day as it comes. NO, I do not think you are selfish. When someone is used to having support there all the time it is only natural that you feel some anxiety & panic when having to do it yourself for awhile. Just keep telling yourself "I am a capable person & I can handle anything". Even if you don't believe it keep saying it to yourself - eventually you might just believe it.

Let us know how you are getting on throughout the week. PM me if you want & I will try to help in anyway I can. You are not alone.

[Dusty]

Hi!

Thanks for the replies.

Just to update: hubby hasn't gone to london today. After my outburst last night he decided I was not in a state to be left to cope alone. He also told me to take today off work sick. I also took anothr pill and afetr a while dropped off to sleep quite easily.

For those who don't remember me - I have a long-term history of insomnia which can have a spiralling effect - I can't sleep so I get anxious so I can't sleep so I get even more anxious. And on it goes.

Don't feel too tired this morning but do feel very fragile. Still worying about tonight but know of old that thinking about it is the wose thing I can do. So today I'm going for distractions but not makingmyself do anything.

Still feeling down about resorting to the pills and scared that I'll start relying on them.

And one more thing - hubby is away overnight quite frequently and while I'm not over the moon about it and have been coping quite well. It so ******* frustrating. (add your own expletive!)



Dusty xx

PMT - Proof that God must be a man.