robin321
16-01-12, 18:53
really hard 5 months. I have had a lot of life changes. A new baby, a new job (actually I bought a business), a new house, and I moved to a new town.
Health anxiety has always been an issue, but it was in check. Meaning, it didn’t take over my life.
Anyway, last September it started with my arms hurting. I was sure I had MS, or ALS. This lasted a month. I went to the Dr, they were not concerned, and it faded (right after my son was born).
I had about a week of nothing to worry about, and then I had my blood pressure taken for my life insurance. It was a little high (135/90) but came down to 123/85 when she took it again. I took it myself the next day, and it was around 128/90. I got a bit concerned about the bottom number… Anyway, the next week I was taking my blood pressure at the pharmacy and got called for my prescription at the same time. When I turned back to see my reading, it was 148/100. I took it again, and it was 155/105. The cycle continued, and it kept getting the same reading. I went to emergency, and the Dr said is was 143, and 138 over 90, and it was prob stress.
I went to see a diff’t Dr, and had a full battery of tests, including full blood, and a EKG stress test. The stress test showed I was out of shape, but blood pressure wasn’t even high during test, just normal. I did a 24 hr blood pressure test, and it came out avg 123/85. I relaxed a little about the blood pressure after.
Then one day while shaving, I thought of a lump in my neck. I am not sure why I thought about it, it was beneath the skin, and I think it was always there. Anyway, I googled and Lymphoma comes up. At the same time, I got a bad shaving infection. My skin got red. All that week I played with my neck, and pushed deep down inside to see if I can feel, move it, etc.. Finally it swelled. I went to a Dr, who thought it was an ingrown hair but told me to come back in a week and I could have ultrasound. Trouble is I moved the next week.
So 3 weeks went by, and I still played with it a lot. I could move the bumps around, which I thought was good and it comforted me. It almost became a stress reliever. My skin was very red.
Then I noticed it was big again, and I panicked. I went to the Dr. I drove 2 hrs to go to where I had moved from. The dr felt all my nodes, and said they felt good, and it just felt like one swollen node. She told me to come back in 1 month. I persisted though, and finally she gave me a paper to get an ultrasound.
I paid and had one done. 3 weeks went by, and I didn’t hear anything. I started to touch them less, and they went down to the point where I couldn’t feel them easily anymore, unless I pushed on my skin.
Then the dr called, and she wanted to see me in 2 weeks. I panicked, and got here to call me. She told me I had 3 swollen lymph nodes, and that it was not necessarily cancer. She said she wanted to see me to check them again, but that if I wanted I could have a referral to an ENT. He could check them, and he has an ultrasound machine in his office and could do biopsy there if necessary.
I asked if I should worry, she said no ‘she wouldn’t lose sleep over it’ but I keep dwelling on what she said ‘not necessarily cancer’. I feel like I have it, and I feel like I cannot enjoy my wife, kids or family. I wake up thinking about it, and sleep thinking about it. The more I see them, the more I think I will lose them.
On the positives, it has gone down, although not away. But it is much smaller, because I used to see a very obvious 2cm bump when craning my neck. I cannot see it anymore, and although not touching lately, when I did tough last, it is harder to find. Before it was quiet obvious. When I saw Dr, had ultrasound, it was at its worst.
I have to wait 5 weeks to see the ENT. I do not know how to cope with the waiting. I am afraid to see other Dr’s, because I am scared they will feel and think they are still up.
Help on coping please!
---------- Post added at 18:53 ---------- Previous post was at 18:50 ----------
I forgot to mention, the radiologist wanted me to have CT scan, but my Dr wanted to see me first, and to be checked by ENT first.
Health anxiety has always been an issue, but it was in check. Meaning, it didn’t take over my life.
Anyway, last September it started with my arms hurting. I was sure I had MS, or ALS. This lasted a month. I went to the Dr, they were not concerned, and it faded (right after my son was born).
I had about a week of nothing to worry about, and then I had my blood pressure taken for my life insurance. It was a little high (135/90) but came down to 123/85 when she took it again. I took it myself the next day, and it was around 128/90. I got a bit concerned about the bottom number… Anyway, the next week I was taking my blood pressure at the pharmacy and got called for my prescription at the same time. When I turned back to see my reading, it was 148/100. I took it again, and it was 155/105. The cycle continued, and it kept getting the same reading. I went to emergency, and the Dr said is was 143, and 138 over 90, and it was prob stress.
I went to see a diff’t Dr, and had a full battery of tests, including full blood, and a EKG stress test. The stress test showed I was out of shape, but blood pressure wasn’t even high during test, just normal. I did a 24 hr blood pressure test, and it came out avg 123/85. I relaxed a little about the blood pressure after.
Then one day while shaving, I thought of a lump in my neck. I am not sure why I thought about it, it was beneath the skin, and I think it was always there. Anyway, I googled and Lymphoma comes up. At the same time, I got a bad shaving infection. My skin got red. All that week I played with my neck, and pushed deep down inside to see if I can feel, move it, etc.. Finally it swelled. I went to a Dr, who thought it was an ingrown hair but told me to come back in a week and I could have ultrasound. Trouble is I moved the next week.
So 3 weeks went by, and I still played with it a lot. I could move the bumps around, which I thought was good and it comforted me. It almost became a stress reliever. My skin was very red.
Then I noticed it was big again, and I panicked. I went to the Dr. I drove 2 hrs to go to where I had moved from. The dr felt all my nodes, and said they felt good, and it just felt like one swollen node. She told me to come back in 1 month. I persisted though, and finally she gave me a paper to get an ultrasound.
I paid and had one done. 3 weeks went by, and I didn’t hear anything. I started to touch them less, and they went down to the point where I couldn’t feel them easily anymore, unless I pushed on my skin.
Then the dr called, and she wanted to see me in 2 weeks. I panicked, and got here to call me. She told me I had 3 swollen lymph nodes, and that it was not necessarily cancer. She said she wanted to see me to check them again, but that if I wanted I could have a referral to an ENT. He could check them, and he has an ultrasound machine in his office and could do biopsy there if necessary.
I asked if I should worry, she said no ‘she wouldn’t lose sleep over it’ but I keep dwelling on what she said ‘not necessarily cancer’. I feel like I have it, and I feel like I cannot enjoy my wife, kids or family. I wake up thinking about it, and sleep thinking about it. The more I see them, the more I think I will lose them.
On the positives, it has gone down, although not away. But it is much smaller, because I used to see a very obvious 2cm bump when craning my neck. I cannot see it anymore, and although not touching lately, when I did tough last, it is harder to find. Before it was quiet obvious. When I saw Dr, had ultrasound, it was at its worst.
I have to wait 5 weeks to see the ENT. I do not know how to cope with the waiting. I am afraid to see other Dr’s, because I am scared they will feel and think they are still up.
Help on coping please!
---------- Post added at 18:53 ---------- Previous post was at 18:50 ----------
I forgot to mention, the radiologist wanted me to have CT scan, but my Dr wanted to see me first, and to be checked by ENT first.