is reducing dose contributing relationship problems :(

[shazzie b]

hi there
i have been on 20mg of citalopram for a year now. referred myself to my doctor a year ago because of constant crying, not seeing the positive in anything, self esteem/confidence issues, insecurity, jealousy (in my relationship etc)...granted i had made a life change move from one end of the country to the other, but these issues have really plagued me all through my life and hadnt confronted them really..

aaanyway...was prescribed citalopram and had some CBT sessions (i think counselling would be more beneficial though), and funnily enough as i put the first pill in my mouth, my crying stopped and i felt instantly more positive (psychological huh?!) ive not been perfect by any means but things got better, i started to feel more settled in my life, im working, training as a massage therapist, do yoga, my relationship got better with my partner, he was really supportive and was proud that i had tackled issues and seem to have come through the other side as it were.

so a few weeks ago i decided i was better, my life was going so much better and wanted to come off them. so my doc has prescribed 10mg for a month. now i dont know whats going on but since starting the lower dose a couple of weeks ago, im picking fights with my partner causing massive arguements and im even doubing my relationship. im having all these constant thoughts about 'is it right', everything he is doing seems to annoy me and im being very intolerant of him, and very unfairly so i think. And this is so out of the blue (and its like revisiting before i started on the meds) because we have been so happy and ive felt so in love with him, secure and happy to look to the future (we've been together 2 years)

i have read so much on the 'bad' withdrawl symptoms that am i freaking myself out and latching onto 'what probably happens' when i lower the dose...im not getting the dizziness, electric shock feeling pains in the head or anything...just these horrible emotional mood swings and doubts. im definately more anxious again

can anyone else relate to this? im wondering if i should just up the dose again because i cant cope with it...and neither can he :s

[william wallace]

Too soon Shazzie, you need to keep taking it for at least six months after you feel 100% better. It's a common mistake:hugs:
:welcome:

[hungrycaterpillar]

I agree it sounds like its too soon! I have been taking them for many years and decided to come off them last year... I'm not in a relationship but I decided I hated all my friends, I couldn't stop crying and then ended up having a bit of a meltdown, and am now in a horrid continuous cycle of anxiety. I am back on them now. Not something I ever want to go through again!

[pinkdove]

Hi Shazzie, Yes i tottaly agree, did the same myself just before christmas have been on cit for around 15 months now.

So i reduced my dose by only 5mg, and for the first week all was well, however on new years day i could feel the anxiety getting worse and i was short tempered too, i left it a couple more days, and started to feel dizzy again, so on the 4th jan put it back up to 25mg.

Now since then i have been slowly getting back to where i was, although that was ont 100% but i now realise it was far too soon, i will stay on this dose for at least 6 months when i feel better, i think it's a common mistake as mr w say's

Good luck xx

[shazzie b]

Too soon Snazzie, you need to keep taking it for at least six months after you feel 100% better. It's a common mistake:hugs:
:welcome:


oh?! i didnt know this. but im wondering if my issues would STILL be there even if i gave it that long? my thinking now is go see my doctor to up again and explore my counselling possibilities on top - i had been thinking about this anyway

thanks for the welcoming smileys btw :)

---------- Post added at 17:47 ---------- Previous post was at 17:41 ----------


I agree it sounds like its too soon! I have been taking them for many years and decided to come off them last year... I'm not in a relationship but I decided I hated all my friends, I couldn't stop crying and then ended up having a bit of a meltdown, and am now in a horrid continuous cycle of anxiety. I am back on them now. Not something I ever want to go through again!

hi :)
this is interesting too, where you say you decided you hated all your friends...this feels like what im doing to my boyfriend, having doubts etc. but i'm thinking am i just deflecting (or reflecting?!) my negativity/insecurities about myself onto him with the intolerance, picking of fights etc....hmm one for the counsellor i reckon! i REALLY have to get to the bottom of this, for my sake....and to be honest this has reared its ugly head in a lot of my relationships (im in my late 30's now) and it cant go on :scared15:

---------- Post added at 17:50 ---------- Previous post was at 17:47 ----------


Hi Shazzie, Yes i tottaly agree, did the same myself just before christmas have been on cit for around 15 months now.

So i reduced my dose by only 5mg, and for the first week all was well, however on new years day i could feel the anxiety getting worse and i was short tempered too, i left it a couple more days, and started to feel dizzy again, so on the 4th jan put it back up to 25mg.

Now since then i have been slowly getting back to where i was, although that was ont 100% but i now realise it was far too soon, i will stay on this dose for at least 6 months when i feel better, i think it's a common mistake as mr w say's

Good luck xx

aww thanks for the advice :)
i dont think ive ever really acknowledged how much i may need them. im living and learning though i guess x

---------- Post added at 17:54 ---------- Previous post was at 17:50 ----------

one thing that really baffles me though is why i ALWAYS get emotional in my relationships (even when they are going good) and at the slightest sign of the anxiousness, i instantly doubt my relationship before anything else! a lot of the time resulting in me ending them.....hmm as i said, one for the counsellor?!

[NCP]

I concur, too soon. And take the opportunity of being stable on medication to get as much talk therapy and transformational work done as possible. When you come off them, do it as gradually and gently as you can.

A change in mood can of course affect relationships, whether that is underlying anxiety or depression or as result of coming off a medication too quickly or before time etc.

With me for example, when I get anxiety often comes irritability. When I am very anxious I wreck relationships because I feel over sensitive to rejection (or rather perceived rejection), I get paranoid that peoples intentions are negative when they are most likely not among lots of things. I can read all kinds of things into situations which were pretty innocent in nature.

And my reaction to most of those situations is one of anger or resentment, neither of which are healthy reactions in any relationships or friendships.

[shazzie b]

wow NCP you cannot believe how spot on this is to how i feel and react :ohmy:

its so reassuring to read because i give myself a hard time a lot, thinking im such hard work in relationships (and sometimes i think my boyf would agree, it wears him out sometimes), always apologising to my boyfriend and saying sorry for being this emotional up and down nightmare, and im always fighting with my emotions...wondering 'why cant i just get on with things, be happy with my relationship like everyone else' (silly i know) and stop sabbotaging my (personal) relationships/always wondering is this person is 'right' for me, one week yes, one week no...aaargh! :wacko:

I have the loveliest boyfriend, he does nothing to deserve these arguements because of my irritability, paranoia, anger, resentment..so my reactions HAVE to change because its not healthy :unsure:

[NCP]

Its not healthy, but don't get hung up on it or beat yourself up about it. Its not healthy because you're not well. And you're doing something postiive about getting better which is all the counts.

They are very common symptoms to a problem / condition that you are experiencing.

Anyone having to endure very anxious or dark/depressive emotional feelings will have trouble relating to other people. Most people only go through those emotions a few times in their life, when someone dies or something awful happens. Having to deal with it day in and day out takes its toll. And its very hard for other people to understand that or not to take it personally.

Sounds like your boyfriend loves you for who you are and understands your situation. Just make sure you let him know that when you react like that its because you feel unwelll and not anything personal.