Cyclothymia ???

[GwenBix]

Hi all, wondering if anyone could help me. Last year I started noticing how my mood was good for a while then became very depressing crying alot and feeling very frustrated and like I was just useless I kept going over it in my head and carried on as normal (I had very bad IBS which made me house bound for several months after reflexlogy, hypno and meditation I'm getting back to eating and feeling better than ever) Then a few months ago my mother had an affair and left dad, me my gran (who has depression and can't live on her own for the past 20 years). It was very stressful as other family members blamed us for the affair it got very messy. A few weeks in I had my first panic attack (i've never experienced fear like it) We now live in a remote area and I am now caring for my gran (like i said she's lived with us for 20 years but it is alot of stress),looking after alot of pets and housework which I stress over so much! because after having ibs stop me froming working/learning I'm still trapped and no transport to look for a job which would help me no end and I feel deperate for. I've had 3 more panic attacks since but my phases of depression and then a different mood are getting worse. I cry alot,very easily start on people, avoid social situations (will say I have always been anxious around people). I have low self esteem and think that I am nothing. Also I rarely feel like I can sit still very long. I feel guilty, sad and angry. Also wake up ofen in the middle of the night and find it difficult to get back to sleep. These "phases" last for a few days to a few weeks. Then I go back to try and get my life on track but always go back into the phases. We were also meant to move abroad aswell due to the split up that is now on hold for another year or so. Sorry it's a long post, I feel hopless most of the time my life has been on hold for so long and i feel like its getting too much. We do have plans for the next year I feel I need some help to get me by the next 6/12 months before I can really start again I have my wonderful partner who looks after me so much, will be great to have people who know what it's like I'm trying to keep positive as best I can I haven't told my dad that I have panic attacks because I don't want to stress him out more. Any info would be great Thanks

[mistymoo]

no wonder your feeling the way you do, you have alot to cope with, im pleased you have a supportive partner, would you benefit from getting in touch with social services, maybe your gran would go into respite care, to give you a much needed break, has the dr diagnosed cyclothymia ? you need to try and fing time set aside just for you, to indulge in treating yourself, hope things improve for you, take care Ang

[GwenBix]

Thanks for the reply. Being honest I haven't been up the doctors as I turn to natural therapy which helps me no end feel relaxed and whole again. So I will be treating myself to some healing and indian head massage (looking forward to!) I haven't had therapy for months now but will be booking up soon. Since reading up about symptoms I have been thinking about getting diagnosed, but things with work have been very stressful past few weeks but it's getting back to normal (family run business) now so some stresses have gone. With gran she's being very difficult at the moment but I don't think dad will look into help with her. Time to myself is mainly doing sports which makes me feel happy aswell. Many thanks again