Trying...to make friends...at uni?

[Wolfie]

Hi guys,

Anyone got any tips for talking to people? I find this immensely and incredibly difficult and I feel intensely awkward, constantly, whilst in uni, around my classmates, let alone anyone else lol. They talk to me and I have no idea how to react...I want to make new friends and be a lot more sociable...but...I can't...any advice on how to relax would be great.

[nomorepanic]

Why don't you join some groups and meet people that way? There should be loads going on

[theharvestmouse]

Start off with basic chat, small talk, where they are from?, are they living in halls? Just try to not think too much, keep it natural, don't ask too many questions all at once. But show you are interested and they should respond.

Try to be relaxed about it, and you should be fine.

[theharvestmouse]

By the way I offer advice knowing how difficult it is. Luckily when I went to uni it was before my anxiety problems had started affecting my life.

But now I know how difficult it is to do things when you suffer from any sort of anxiety.

[Wolfie]

Nic - I can barely make it into Uni cause of my social anx, the idea of joining a group scares the hell out of me, I have no idea how to overcome this...I have a group presentation this semester and I have no idea how I'm gunna get through it lol.

Cheers harvestmouse - I had a couple of new people sit beside me today and I was so close to saying something like how are you, but I just couldn't, gahhh, it's so difficult isn't it? It's just so bizarre. Part of me is scared that I'll get snubbed/ignored or something, perhaps that's something to do with the difficulty? I dunno, I wish I had more health anxiety than social anxiety lol.

[CONS]

I had a couple of new people sit beside me today and I was so close to saying something like how are you, but I just couldn't, gahhh, it's so difficult isn't it? It's just so bizarre. Part of me is scared that I'll get snubbed/ignored or something, perhaps that's something to do with the difficulty? I dunno, I wish I had more health anxiety than social anxiety lol.

Ask questions about them or start off with a compliment, people in general love both.

"ooooh nice shoes, where did you get them from?"

or something about your class like:

"That last assignment was tricky, how are you doing with it?"

Then let them follow it up and you take it from there, remember though not everyone will get on with everyone, win some lose some but at least make the effort, even if it was unsuccessful you were successful in asking, right?

:winks:

[Elen]

Hi

I know exactly how you feel, I am the worlds worst.

Cons if spot on, compliment them on something and 9 times out of 10 they will take the convo from there.

Good luck hun, you can do it.

Elen

[oneofus]

You're not alone, I have a daughter at university who although in a good house with Christian friends still rings up every so often in a bit of state because she has no friends to go out with.

Try and look at yourself as if you were a friend. You know yourself best; what would you do with you as friend or just a person to chat to.

Even if you feel you're alone don't go into a shell. Find things to do alone. I used to love going into York market when I was at University, a piece of trout for tea and some mussels to eat on the way back - ah! I feel a wave of nostalgia already. If you go out you are more visible and other people may stop and talk. It seems to be working with my daughter she came back from her market with a Partridge, two huge chicken breasts and other assorted goodies, and then rang mum up at home "How do I cook a partridge?".

Believe me food make friends!I courted my wife with offer of mushrooms or roses, and the mushrooms won!

one of us