Beyonderz
20-01-12, 03:25
Hello friends,
I am glad I found this website and forums, so I can share my story with you all. I hope it won't be a too long text :) - oh yeah, even though I had medication and managed to have 90% control over my panics, I'm still experiencing it sometimes.
First of all I am 36 years old and live in Sweden currently. Two years before moving to Sweden, in 2008, I started experiencing some weird things like sudden flu like symptoms without noticable fever, chill all over, muscle pains and disturbing headaches, slight dizzyness and nauseous feeling. I got divorced in 2005 but in my whole 4 years of marriage, I had so many troubles. But my ex-spouse experiencing very severe Panic Attacks wasn't the real problem there, it was just the usual personality problems as in many marriages. But I was always, since I was a little kid, a health concern type of person.
Because my ex had a different type of severe Panic Disorder as the only example before my eyes, years after, when I started experiencing things, I couldn't convince myself easily that I was actually really having the same disorder. I visited many doctors (of course, even the voodoo witch doctor :P) and had them only to eliminate serious diseases like lung, brain and heart issues. Even though I was only having problems in late evening and night times during sleep, I had hard time sleeping and sometimes I was walking around for 2 days without sleep. That was the time I said to myself "ok, there is something stupid going on here. Why am I not feeling similar things in daytime also..?? ". Then a doctor mentioned about anxiety for the first time, and that time my blood got frozen because of the only panic example I knew. I got checked by an psychiatrist, got diagnosed with anxiety disorder and then I started having attacks in daytime also. Knowing I had the disease, didn't help much at first.
I had hard time getting use to it, I got treated with medication for 6 months and I really got well. But I tried my best to come up with strange distraction methods like thinking about physical features of the nearest object during attacks, or demonstrating a helping and calming speech from my favorite psychiatrist by myself in front of mirror. Those seemed to be helpful but it sure wasn't easy. Convincing oneself is the hardest. Only way is, finding logical explanations for the symptom. And this logic, can not be yours.
Now, after years, I am having disturbing digestion problems and these are making me think that I am having a very serious problem with one of the important abdominal organs, like liver, colons and so on (there are many inside the abdomen). The more I google symptoms, the more I think of them. The more I think, the more stiff I get in muscles. Oh my back muscles start to hurt? I am having lung cancer, or wait no, since I have pain in right abdomen and back, it is Liver Cancer instead.
I always try to remind myself that I came over this s..t once and those symptoms mean nothing unless they are with other more notable ones.
Oh yeah, this became a very long text. In short, I try to remind myself what my doctor said once; "Do you have headache? Let's say your best friend called you suddenly. Do you still have this headache when you are talking with them or your brain-tumor-headache took a short break to wait for your phone conversation to finish..?" :)
Good luck all, take a deep breath!
I am pretty sure we all will step on this thing and continue life.
I am glad I found this website and forums, so I can share my story with you all. I hope it won't be a too long text :) - oh yeah, even though I had medication and managed to have 90% control over my panics, I'm still experiencing it sometimes.
First of all I am 36 years old and live in Sweden currently. Two years before moving to Sweden, in 2008, I started experiencing some weird things like sudden flu like symptoms without noticable fever, chill all over, muscle pains and disturbing headaches, slight dizzyness and nauseous feeling. I got divorced in 2005 but in my whole 4 years of marriage, I had so many troubles. But my ex-spouse experiencing very severe Panic Attacks wasn't the real problem there, it was just the usual personality problems as in many marriages. But I was always, since I was a little kid, a health concern type of person.
Because my ex had a different type of severe Panic Disorder as the only example before my eyes, years after, when I started experiencing things, I couldn't convince myself easily that I was actually really having the same disorder. I visited many doctors (of course, even the voodoo witch doctor :P) and had them only to eliminate serious diseases like lung, brain and heart issues. Even though I was only having problems in late evening and night times during sleep, I had hard time sleeping and sometimes I was walking around for 2 days without sleep. That was the time I said to myself "ok, there is something stupid going on here. Why am I not feeling similar things in daytime also..?? ". Then a doctor mentioned about anxiety for the first time, and that time my blood got frozen because of the only panic example I knew. I got checked by an psychiatrist, got diagnosed with anxiety disorder and then I started having attacks in daytime also. Knowing I had the disease, didn't help much at first.
I had hard time getting use to it, I got treated with medication for 6 months and I really got well. But I tried my best to come up with strange distraction methods like thinking about physical features of the nearest object during attacks, or demonstrating a helping and calming speech from my favorite psychiatrist by myself in front of mirror. Those seemed to be helpful but it sure wasn't easy. Convincing oneself is the hardest. Only way is, finding logical explanations for the symptom. And this logic, can not be yours.
Now, after years, I am having disturbing digestion problems and these are making me think that I am having a very serious problem with one of the important abdominal organs, like liver, colons and so on (there are many inside the abdomen). The more I google symptoms, the more I think of them. The more I think, the more stiff I get in muscles. Oh my back muscles start to hurt? I am having lung cancer, or wait no, since I have pain in right abdomen and back, it is Liver Cancer instead.
I always try to remind myself that I came over this s..t once and those symptoms mean nothing unless they are with other more notable ones.
Oh yeah, this became a very long text. In short, I try to remind myself what my doctor said once; "Do you have headache? Let's say your best friend called you suddenly. Do you still have this headache when you are talking with them or your brain-tumor-headache took a short break to wait for your phone conversation to finish..?" :)
Good luck all, take a deep breath!
I am pretty sure we all will step on this thing and continue life.