having an anxiety attack during meditation??

[mmb]

Hello all,
I'm new to this site and this is my first thread... although I've been reading about all your experiences I've been a bit shy about posting mine... I'll make a short version of the problem. I've got GAD and, despite my doctor's attempt, I've decided not to take the anti-d's... I have tried but failed 3 times... they made me sick, nervous, terribly depressed and suicidal, but I am not here to say that they don't work... I just find them hard to cope. So I'm trying lots of reading, exercise, St. John's Wort , Rescue Remedy and meditation... I bought a book on mindfulness with a 8 week program on meditation and I was doing really well up to week 3... during an evening meditation I had a major freak out!!! Terrible thoughts, I was convinced I was going mad and there were no reasons for me to try to get better because I never would:weep:
That night I couldn't sleep... I went to bed having major shakes (like my body was in shock) and I could not calm myself down... the next morning I was a wreck!! This was 4 weeks ago and since then I have been so scared of trying meditation again! It's so frustrating because I read that it really helps with anxiety and obsessive thinking but I'm stuck! Maybe it's not for me, I don't know... but I'm running out of options apart from the medication that my doctor insists:unsure:
Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advices please. Thank you for reading x

[bignik]

sounds like you say anxiety attack , the terrible thoughts feeling of madness I find when the attack is at its peak , when listening to the meditation try concentrate on your breathing inhale slowly as stomach goes out , and exhale slowly allowing stomach to sink naturally ... apparently ( and I only told this recently by pyshcologist ) is trying keep to reassuring yourself only a thought and try and allow it ... not an easy task I know as can be frightening like you say but avoiding it they say makes it worse.

I would attempt to try again and try get relaxed and reassure yourself it wont happen again , as for me I find the relaxation cds very helpful at my moments of crisis.

[PanchoGoz]

Your mind doesn't like that you are trying a new routine. An anxious mind is not used to (and can't straight away deal with) just "stopping". What sort of meditations are you doing? With anxiety, avoid ones where you just sit and let thoughts come and go because an anxious mind will be used to latching on to all negetive thoughts, and that is just letting them in. Focused meditations like mindfulness and counting meditations involve a subject for your meditation and help you to concentrate on what is important. These are better. Keep at it!

[mmb]

Thanks for the replies!
I am using a CD as well... the voice is really calming and soothing... it's just my mind that can't stop! :mad: It does say that if my mind wonders just gently escort back to the meditation without getting upset about it... the problem is that my anxious mind will wonder to dark places and I don't like that!! But I guess the whole process is to try to calm my mind down and learn how to go with the flow... so hard!! But you are right, avoiding it will make it worse...

[Scared_11]

The exact same thing happened to me whilst doing these exercises! It sounds like we have the same book aswell. I found mindfulness very effective but had plenty of times where I couldn't relax my mind and doubted whether it wa for me. I was very anxious about trying it again the following few days after I felt freaked out but I did and it was fine. Try again. Maybe start from scratch with it.

[mmb]

Hi Scared11,
Thanks for your reply! I haven't tried the meditation again but been thinking about a lot!! Really want to try mindfulness because it was highly recommended and I don't like giving up like that... still very scared but to tell you the truth I'm scared of everything at the moment so one more thing won't make a difference! :)

[Scared_11]

Yes I have also only heard great things about it. I done about3-4 weeks of it and felt so much better about everything. I even remember thinking it was a cure. I have suffered anxiety all my life and I realy like the idea of meditating!

I havnt done it for about 6 months and I am having a huge set back at the moment do want to start it again but I feel apprehensive about doing it again invade it doesn't work this time. I feel like its my only hope for an escape sometimes as I don't take any medication and never want to.