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xladyjx
14-06-06, 07:32
Hey! Im Jenny, Im 21 and am on this site looking for friendship with people who actually understand how I feel...
I have Social Anxiety (as well as OCD & Trichotillomania) and I feel trapped in my own life at the moment, I feel as if Im going round in circles cause the social anxiety makes me stay indoors, when Im indoors my OCD stricks up and I have to perform my rituals then cause of the rituals I begin to feel anxious so start pulling my hair...where does it all end?
I have no real friends who I could rely on and the last time I went out with someone other than my boyfriend was about 2-3 years ago. Im starting to feel inadequate (cant spell it!) as I cant do things that most other 'normal' girls could do such as attend a family social event with him without either a) making his life hell and causing arguements over anything so as to get out of it or b) completely avoiding the situation altogether. He understands to a certain point but I dont think anyone can truely understand unless they suffer it too, I sometimes think he thinks Im making a mountain out of a mole hill when I start saying I want to commit suicide just to avoid a party, etc.
I dont get any help from docs other than shoving drugs down my throat that they have even told me 'will not help me with my problems' so why the hell they give me them I dont know!
I feel as if Ive missed out on so much in my life as it is, Ive had chances of modelling, etc but due to all this couldnt face it; at the moment I cant work with all this happening and I just want to live my life in a confident, happy way where I dont feel held back byy my own thoughts and feelings.... is this ever gonna happen?

Daisybun
14-06-06, 07:46
Hi Jenny and welcome to the forum. There's lots of support and help on here, I hope that this helps you to realise that you are not alone, and that you can get better. There are alternatives to drugs - have you talked to your dr about CBT to help with your thought patterns and get your confidence back. Read through some of the post and you will find that people are going through similar things, that can reassure you you are not alone; some people have had successes and that will encourage you that you too can start on the road to recovery.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

kirgray
18-06-06, 17:47
Hi Jenny

Just wanted to say hi and totally understand how you feel, I hate social events too, I find it so hard to hold conversations with people, and feel they are critisising what I look like.

XkirstyX

clickaway
18-06-06, 17:56
Jenny,

Have you considered doing a 'No Panic' CBT course over the phone? They do group sessions and these sessions are free apart from the £15 membership fee and the cost of the phone calls.

The groups are customised and I know they do them for OCD sufferers too.

Give this number a ring to find out more
01952 590005

http://www.nopanic.org.uk/

Another site worth looking at at is Social Anxiety UK.
They have advice, message board and also arrange meet-ups.

Take Care,




Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

axel
03-07-06, 00:57
Jenny, i recently finished a cbt group and it sounds like this may be just what you need. Join a group, try the phone call deal mentioned above or read some books on it and do the exercises regularly and I am sure it will help you a great deal. We used two good and short cbt books in my group, Been there, done that? DO THIS! By Sam Obitz (www.tao3.com) and Mastery of your Anxiety and Panic-Third Edition by Michelle Craske and David Barlow (www.amazon.com). The first one is probably better suited to your needs as the second one focusses on panic disorder which you didn't mention being a problem for you, but the cbt exercises for anxiety overlap each other so both are very helpful in building your confidence and self-esteem.

xladyjx
03-07-06, 06:27
Thank you Axel! I will look out for those books, I am supposedly on a waiting list for CBT but who knows, the docs in this country are a disgrace to all ppl who suffer with anything to do with anxiety, they just dont wanna know!
Take care, Jen xxxx

chucklehound
03-07-06, 08:06
Hi Jen, I agree, the Drs are rubbish when it comes to anxiety. Hope your CBT goes well

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

carol1969
07-07-06, 13:57
Change is scary but it is so important so start by taking small steps like going to the local shop everyday. In time it will get easier and you can take an even bigger step and maybe go shopping in your local town.
Take Care
Carol x

If you have peace of mind you have everything

axel
11-07-06, 01:20
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Thank you Axel! I will look out for those books, I am supposedly on a waiting list for CBT but who knows, the docs in this country are a disgrace to all ppl who suffer with anything to do with anxiety, they just dont wanna know!
Take care, Jen xxxx

<div align="right">Originally posted by xladyjx - 03 July 2006 : 07:27:01</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
You're welcome Jen and I hope they are helpful to you. I'm in the USA and I went through quite a few not so stellar therapists and docs here before finding a cbt program that worked for me. Doctors here just want to give you a pill for anxiety and if one does not work they just turn you into a guinea pig until they find one that helps. I hope you get to start cbt soon and let me know how you are doing?

axel
24-07-06, 21:32
How are you doing Jen? Have you started cbt yet?

xladyjx
25-07-06, 07:02
Hey Axel!
No unfortunately I still havent started CBT, Ive been told Im due to start it in Sept via an OCD group that runs for 8 wks...
Its not totally what I hoped for as I doubt I'll be cured within 8 wks but I guess its better than nothing!
Anyway how are you doing?
Take care
Jen xxx

axel
31-07-06, 22:15
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hey Axel!
No unfortunately I still havent started CBT, Ive been told Im due to start it in Sept via an OCD group that runs for 8 wks...
Its not totally what I hoped for as I doubt I'll be cured within 8 wks but I guess its better than nothing!
Anyway how are you doing?
Take care
Jen xxx

<div align="right">Originally posted by xladyjx - 25 July 2006 : 07:02:00</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Like you said 8 weeks are better than none but I know what you mean. I think most cbt groups last at least 12 weeks and up to 26 weeks. I think if you learn the exercises well enough to do them on your own during the eight weeks you will hopefully be able to keep at them and keep improving without the group. I am still benefitting from doing my tea forms everyday and hope to keep making progress until the new ways of thinking become my default way of thinking.
I'm doing well, but I still think I have room for more improvement and that keeps me motivated. The summer here has been unusually humid and it is driving me crazy but I can deal with it. Take care and let me know how you are doing and when your group starts. I hope it helps you and believe it will if you work at it:D

xladyjx
01-08-06, 06:50
Thank you Axel for your msg!
My CBT Group begins on the 1st sept and unfortunatly Im going away on holiday on the 30th Sept so Im going to miss 2 sessions out of the 8 so now its even less :(
Glad to hear all is well with you, I know what you mean about the humid weather, we are also having an unusually hot and humid summer this year!
Keep smiling! Take care xxxxxx

kate
01-08-06, 08:04
Hi Jen,

Have you asked about 1 to 1 CBT sessions also?

Good luck with your group sessions :D

Kate

"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

xladyjx
02-08-06, 06:59
Hiya Kate!
Thanx for your msg...
Well to be honest hun thats what I was promised right from the beginning but nearly 2 years later all of a sudden Im having group therapy which is awful, how can we talk about our past and true feelings in front of a bunch of strangers??
This country has seriously gone down the pan!!

How are you?
Take care, Jen xxxx

axel
08-08-06, 19:55
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Thank you Axel for your msg!
My CBT Group begins on the 1st sept and unfortunatly Im going away on holiday on the 30th Sept so Im going to miss 2 sessions out of the 8 so now its even less :(
Glad to hear all is well with you, I know what you mean about the humid weather, we are also having an unusually hot and humid summer this year!
Keep smiling! Take care xxxxxx

<div align="right">Originally posted by xladyjx - 01 August 2006 : 07:50:42</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Good to hear from you. Is there anyway you can reschedule your holiday? After waiting so long it would be a shame to have to miss a fourth of your sessions. Maybe you can talk to the group leader at the first session and he or she will be willing to let you make it up when you get back or offer something to help you have the full benefit of it.
Keep me informed and I'll be thinking about you[8D]

axel
08-08-06, 20:00
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hiya Kate!
Thanx for your msg...
Well to be honest hun thats what I was promised right from the beginning but nearly 2 years later all of a sudden Im having group therapy which is awful, how can we talk about our past and true feelings in front of a bunch of strangers??
This country has seriously gone down the pan!!

How are you?
Take care, Jen xxxx


<div align="right">Originally posted by xladyjx - 02 August 2006 : 07:59:24</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
You don't talk about your past much in cbt so the groups are not that bad. In my cbt group they discouraged us from getting all wound up about the past saying it can't be changed or made better so we are not wasting time on that, but you can change and make the future better so that is what we are here to focus on. It was very scary at first but I can understand what they are saying now because it has taught me to focus on things that are in my control and stop obsessing about things that aleady happened and are done with.

axel
30-08-06, 22:17
How are you Jen? Hope things are going well for you now.

axel
28-11-06, 21:52
Jen did you ever start your cbt? I hope it is helping you :)