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the8th
14-06-06, 08:13
Yikes. Well, being out in public on its own is pretty anxiety-inducing for me but I go every day no matter where it is, just to try to get accustomed to it. In a few days a band I really like is playing here, and well.. we have our tickets [my bf and i], but also about five or six of his friends from his hometown are coming to see this band play too and I've never met them before, and I'm nervous about that. I mean, we're there to see the band anyway so we won't be talking much, but still he has a habit of ignoring me when we go out to a thing where his friends are and after a few times of that happening I just stopped going out with him because .. well I'm shy and I'm a nervous person. Ergh. Just one of the things to happen this week that is going to be stressful. There are two more events I should be attending, both concerts my brother is playing at.. and then there's the dentist next week. I use Rescue Remedy to calm me down but sometimes it doesnt' have a good enough effect. I guess I just have to breathe and realise it's not a big deal, they are just people like me, they are probably awkward too. But man, I really feel like there's all this pressure on me since they are good friends of his and I'm the token girlfriend of 4 years that doesn't talk much. I don't know. I hate making a big deal of things like this. Sometimes I wish I drank more but I don't really like drinking that much. Ramblerambleramble....

Meg
14-06-06, 13:35
What fabulous news that you are getting out there and pushing yourself.

Just make sure your internal messages match the pushing prowess !

Shad helmstetter - what to say ..... is great for helping.

No point pushing if you're doing it compouding the fears each time

Good luck

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

the8th
16-06-06, 21:10
I've kind of been a mess lately with anxiety and head-raceyness.. & to be honest i've become very good at avoiding situations that make me anxious..
so yeah i am really very nervous and all kinds of anxieties are popping up.

the8th
17-06-06, 19:13
yeah i think i really do have to work on my thinking style/pattern, i notice almost every thought that goes through my head is a worry. anyway, i went and i did it [i would use many exclamation marks here but this keyboard is effed and it doesn't work]. i was very nervous.. and my mind was racing with all sorts of 'what ifs' but i ignored it and stuck it out for the entire show [about 4 hours]. i was really proud of myself because i was very close to bailing out. didn't drink, didn't take anything to calm me down, met all the people who seemed really friendly, and tried to enjoy myself.

hooray

now lets see how i do with the dentist.

ollie35
19-06-06, 14:52
I used to be the same and dreaded social situations. One day I thought however I feel I feel, I moved towards my fear without spending the day worrying about it , building up loads of tension before I got there. There is no proof that you will feel yuck when you get there, so off I went and without all the usual build up of "oh I can't do it" " I will look silly" things seemed to calm, I then realised a lot of the self-talk was what was making me worse.

Sometimes we have to pack in so much normal living before we start to feel normal. It really is just are subconcious saying well you always feel bad when your out so you will this time, start to float past this negative thought and see for yourself, sometimes you maybe surprised at how good you did feel.

Take care

Paul

www.anxietynomore.co.uk

PUGLETMUM
19-06-06, 20:46
[8D]this is exactly how i feel, i am nowhere near where i want to be after a relapse following an early miscarriage last year. the good thing to have come out of that was that i realised i had'nt been stretching myself at all!!! and also this negative self-talk is the only reason we feel so bad BEFORE we do something, usually nothing is EVER as bad as i've imagined, i'm sure many of you know the feeling. also i find that if it takes time to build up the HABIT of panicking and over-reacting to everything, the reverse is also true, it takes time to re-train yourself, and also acceptance, i have always lived in the shadow of an extrovert, charming older sister, but now i realise we can't all be like that, and also i have other attributes that are equally important just different ;) emmas