Why Am I Being Silly

[Stormsky]

My hubbys gone away for couple days, and i invited a friend over today, and said she could stay over... however i am worrying 'what if i have those scary thoughts of harming her'... ive only ever had couple scary thoughts like harming someone, once a year ago, when my mum stayed over, and once about harming my pets... which I WOULD NEVER DO, i couldnt harm a fly... and i know its because it is the complete opposite of what i am, thats why the thoughts were so scary to me... i do get that... and i have not had any thoughts pop in my head at all that i would hurt my friend... its just the WORRY that i MIGHT have them when shes here...
So im thinking of cancelling her, shes not due til 2pm, but then i dont want to , as be nice to see her , have the company, be normal, have a larf... otherwise im home alone for 48hrs.....
oh what to do !!!!

[Wuboo]

I don't think you have a lot to worry about. A lot of people with anxiety/depression think like this but never do anything because it's not in their nature to do so. All it is is an irrational thought which you can challenge with positive thoughts.

It might not be much help.

[Stormsky]

thanks Jay xx

---------- Post added at 10:23 ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 ----------




It might not be much help.

i hope you dont mean that positive thinking might not be of much help..lol

[daisydoo]

You are not been silly. My mind thinks horrible things sometimes but the same as you we would never do anything. Mind you the things i think when my husband is snoring i could easily do!! Dont cancel you will have a lovely day/evening. Probably just what you need. Focus on enjoying yourself. Treat yourselves and have a great time it will be fine xxx

[Wuboo]

thanks Jay xx

---------- Post added at 10:23 ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 ----------



i hope you dont mean that positive thinking might not be of much help..lol

Sorry I meant I might not be much help lol.

[crystal17]

Hi,

I think inviting her over will help to distract you and take your mind off things and you'll probably find that you forget you were even worrying about these things!

Sometimes the fear and anticipation of something is half the battle and once we conquer that, the 'monster' is nowhere near as scary as the shadow suggests!

[Stormsky]

thanks guys, excellent advice ...xxxx

---------- Post added at 11:41 ---------- Previous post was at 11:40 ----------


Hi,

Sometimes the fear and anticipation of something is half the battle and once we conquer that, the 'monster' is nowhere near as scary as the shadow suggests!


Excellent quote Crystal !

[CONS]

Oh Stormsky I thought you were on the 'straight and narrow'?

Not that your having irrational thoughts of harming someone but of actually cancelling and giving in to it?

Pish!

Onwards and upwards soldier, enjoy being tested by yourself and winning another battle!

[crystal17]

Excellent quote Crystal !


Thanks, dont know where that came from lol.

[Stormsky]

CONS,- i know, Pish indeed!
im not having thoughts of harming anyone, just being silly and WORRYING what if i have them ? guess im having 'ghost' thoughts of what happened in the past,,, and worried i may have them again... but onwards and upwards like you say! xxx

[ShelleE]

Stormsky I had these thoughts as well, even thoughts about harming my children which was awful as I would die for them. I spoke to my CBT therapist about it as I thought I was going mad and he said it is all part of anxiety/Panic.

He gave me a sheet to write down the thought i was having (horrible putting it down on paper to read the first time!) and then think about the Evidence for and against that thought. Then I had to write about the situation I was in and how i was feeling based on a % (0-100). Then re-evaluate the thought after.

I thought it was a bit silly at first but I only had to write it down a couple of times and now I barley have then thank god! If I do I just shrug it off and think well like that would ever happen!! Just wish I could do the same for PA's!

Have your friend round you will enjoy it and regret it if you dont! If you want anymore info on this message me and I can send to you.

xx

[Stormsky]

Thanks ShelleE = like i said im not having the 'thoughts of harming' just worried i may have them once shes here! I'll be fine, gona keep distracted ! xxxx

[robinbrum]

I never had anything as extreme as this but if something is good I will always think of a way in which could be bad. If a friend came to visit I might be worried I would argue with them or perhaps they would get bored of my company or vice versa. Anxious people go through all these endless machinations that "non-anxious" people just do not understand. I freaked out going to the pub last night which was completely irrational and I downed my pint really quickly and left in less than 10 mins. Avoidance is not really an option is it?
Hope you have a great time with your friend and I'm sure you won't regret your decision:).

[Carys]

like i said im not having the 'thoughts of harming' just worried i may have them once shes here!Hey Stormsky ! I had invasive thoughts of harming my daughter many years ago. Like ShelleE I was told that I was the least likely person to ever do anything horrible. I love/loved her more than my own life and it was the fear of losing control and something happening to the person I loved the most, the most precious thing in the world, that made those awful fears appear. Anyhow, that was 14 years ago.....

....then a couple of years ago (anxiety free now) I needed to babysit some toddlers in the family. Out of the blue, the thought appeared 'I am scared that I will have THOSE thoughts again, that I could hurt them when they are here' and 'then that will lead to me actually doing something etc. etc.' Those thoughts had been out of my mind for many years, and then the situation of looking after the little ones brought the fears right back. It is similar to what is happening to you now. In was scared that in the future those 'hurting thoughts' could appear.

So, I faced those thoughts; after all I had had them lots of times before and nothing had happened. They are simply fear manifesting itself in a way that scares you, because your brain thinks up the most abhorrent things and slings them at you. I had no intention of avoiding the situation and being held prisoner by fears. I got myself ready for the fact that I might indeed have those thoughts (just as you might when your friend comes, after all, now you have reminded yourself it is probably likely that you will :winks: )and then decided that I would laugh at them and tell myself out loud 'oh what a surprise, the thoughts of harming someone, well I expected that after working myself up to them....thoughts and fears.....nothing more.....' I then spent a few minutes distracting myself and reminding myself that the thoughts meant nothing, they were fear trying to trick me.

You can't lose control, you won't harm anyone EVER. Take the fear out of the thoughts and they can't hurt you any more !!!

[VioletWings]

I used to have trouble with the types of thoughts you mentioned, and they were very disturbing to me as I am similar to you! One thing I realise that helped was that the thoughts are not MY thoughts, they are just thoughts, completely detached from me, and I can treat them as such -ignore them, tell them to go away, they are NOT you! (hope that makes sense!)
Hope you have a good time with your friend! =)

[mmb]

Hi Stormsky,
Last month, a dear friend (in fact the only one I have in this country!!) offered to come and see me for 48 hours... she is fully aware of my condition as she is also a sufferer! But that didn't stop me from panicking so badly for 2 days! I was crying and thinking that I would be the worst company ever, that I wouldn't be able to leave the bed and talk to her... and from the moment she arrived, all the bad thinking was gone :blush: I did have a few panicky moments but she was right there with me and distracted me and I had a wonderful 48 hours with her!! Please try to enjoy the company and give yourself a break :winks:

[Stormsky]

thanks everyone! my friend is here now, when she arrived i explained about the thoughts id had ref harming my mum, explained it all properly... then said 'dont worry i dont want to kill you! but if you want to put a chair in front of the door tonight if your worried!' all said jokingly, to which she replied ' i'll be sitting up all night now!' she was joking too though ( i think) ha ha... felt a bit panicky a few times since she been here,but prob cause not used to company, other than just family round, but we been playing call of dutie, nazi zombies, so taking my mind off it, and just cooked dinner....