major panic going to court for access to granchild

[rooby]

I have a granchild I am not allowed to see and have a court date this thursday, the mother's family are threatening everything against me going and i am nearly cracking at this stage, I am in a constant panic, even on the phone to the solicitor I was losing it, not sure if I will be able to stand it, my heart pounds to the extent i cannot breathe, my stomach cramps, then my brain won't work and I cannot get out what I want to say. I am sure i will make a fool of myself. My son has not been allowed see his daughter she is coming up 2. While he is not applying for access he has no problem with me applying despite their threats against him.

[JaneC]

Rooby, that is just horrible :hugs:. Please don't think about "making a fool of yourself" this is a very stressful situation for you and the court should understand that. Could you write things down and ask if that could be submitted if you are struggling to speak? Perhaps it would help to give you strength if you try to remember that you are doing this so you can see your granddaughter and nothing and no-one is going to get in your way? Perhaps you could also ask your doc for some short-term medication that might help you through this?

I really wish you all the best - this is really tough but it will be soooo worth it if this gets sorted out on your favour :hugs:

[rooby]

that is such a good idea I hadn't thought about writing anything down I will def do that, I just go to pieces at the thought of seeing the mother and her family esp cos they are making nasty threats. I am taking seroquel and I have some valium for emergency from dr, but the feelings of panic are so intense when they hit that nothing stops it. thanks for caring

[Wuboo]

I really detest people who do this with their children and I really hope you're ok.

I also agree with jotting things down, sometimes if I have an appointment or something or other I come and say "oh blast, I wanted to ask them that". So if you write things down you can get everything off your chest properly.


Wish you the best of luck with it!

[rooby]

really stressing now, really not sure i can go through with it.

[agnes30]

Hi Roody, i cant even begin to imagine what you are goinging through emotionally right now, All i can say is you CAN DO THIS your not only doing it for you your doing it for your Grand daughter as well and with her as the focus and the goal you will find the strength :). Good luck will be thinking of you xxxx

[nikkinik]

I had to go to court about 6 years ago I think, that was for something related to my son. There were no other parties involved so I just represented myself/no solicitor.. I was also a mess and it wasn't that much of a big deal when it actually came down to it. Id worked it up to be some huge courtroom like you see on TV, that there would be a room full, all eyes on me and frowning upon me, but the people inside were lovely. I probably looked terrified, Id been unable to eat, my stomach was in knots, I felt sick, in pain.. just awful. But it was fine. I find most things are built up in your mind, that actually they aren't that bad when you actually do it.
If you need a break, just ask.. Sips of water etc, they appreciate its difficult for most people.

Just try and breath, focus on your end goal.. dont worry about them/their threats, theyre only making things worse for themselves. I write things down too.. Id rather look like a nut going everywhere with my bits of paper, than come away having only said a 1/3 of what I needed to!

I use a website and have printed off cards to carry around with me to look at to help keep me calm. Just Google stopp and have a nosy around their website. Remember to breath properly, just tell yourself that its the anxiety making you feel off and that its just a little part of your day/life.. everyone, well most people would be anxious, its not just you, its normal.. You'll be fine Im sure x

[munkeyinblack]

just wanted to say hope it went ok today , let us know how you got on,

thinking of you
munkey x

[miss polly]

I hope it worked out in your favour Rooby xx

[rooby]

thanks to you all for your kind support,
To be honest it was awful. My mouth was so dry I could hardly speak. at least I was sat down or I would of collapsed with the nerves. I had to do loads of talking, I was kind of cross-examined by their solicitor which was unexpected and horrible.
Then when the mother had to go up and speak I felt so sorry for her despite everything. She is very young and the last thing I wanted was for this to end up in a courtroom. I have tried everything to avoid it.
The judge said she felt the situation is a difficult one and needed a lot of thought so we have to go back in 4 weeks!!
My feeling now is that I don't want to go through that again EVER yet I have to face it again and it could all be for nothing.
My hubby brought me straight home and put me in bed.
I am still shaking.

[miss polly]

How awful Rooby! I really feel for you. I have two grandchildren and it would break my heart not be in their lives. I'm glad you have your hubby to lean on ~ you need all the support you can get. Keep strong Rooby ~ you've faced it once and you can do it again. Maybe in the meantime the mother will have a change of heart.
It's so cruel and sad that some parents try to deprive their children of their grandparents love. Mine meant everything to me and were such a huge part of my life.
I wish you lots of luck xx