Ivory
25-01-12, 02:41
my name is Ivory. I am a 29 year old female who lives in Southern California with my husband and 2 beautiful babies and my stepson. I am a hair stylist and aspiring writer. I stay at home with my 3 year old daughter. We have two dogs and a coupld gold fish.
I've suffered from anxiety and panic for as long as I can remember (literally) along with worry and fear. I have a memory from when I was 7 years old and I was so scared and worried something bad was going to happen to me if I didn't do something specific. So perhaps a little OCD in there too. Anyway, as I got older the panic attacks were few but certainly there. By the time I met my first husband I had just been diag with GA and possible panic disorder. When he passed away 3 days after our son was born of a terminal illness thats when I went off the deep end. I became convinced that I was going to get cancer like him and die. When I met the man I am married to now I thought he could help me pull myself out of this. We've been married for almost 2 years and have a beautiful baby daughter together. But as time has progressed I've found that I've gotten worse and worse. I feel like I have full blown Panic disorder now, Health Anxiety, OCD, and now a little bit of depression. I struggle just to leave the house to pick up the kids from school. I have the need to constantly be checking my blood pressure or pulse or lymphnodes and I've had more test done than most people I know let alone anybody my age.
I want more than anything to be free of this panic and fear and worry. I believe everyday that I will and AM getting stronger. I take it one day at a time. I owe it to my babies, my husband, and family but most of all I owe it to myself to defeat this and get back to being me. Thank you for accepting me into this community and I look forward to meeting you all and hopefully helping eachother out. Thank you and God Bless.
I've suffered from anxiety and panic for as long as I can remember (literally) along with worry and fear. I have a memory from when I was 7 years old and I was so scared and worried something bad was going to happen to me if I didn't do something specific. So perhaps a little OCD in there too. Anyway, as I got older the panic attacks were few but certainly there. By the time I met my first husband I had just been diag with GA and possible panic disorder. When he passed away 3 days after our son was born of a terminal illness thats when I went off the deep end. I became convinced that I was going to get cancer like him and die. When I met the man I am married to now I thought he could help me pull myself out of this. We've been married for almost 2 years and have a beautiful baby daughter together. But as time has progressed I've found that I've gotten worse and worse. I feel like I have full blown Panic disorder now, Health Anxiety, OCD, and now a little bit of depression. I struggle just to leave the house to pick up the kids from school. I have the need to constantly be checking my blood pressure or pulse or lymphnodes and I've had more test done than most people I know let alone anybody my age.
I want more than anything to be free of this panic and fear and worry. I believe everyday that I will and AM getting stronger. I take it one day at a time. I owe it to my babies, my husband, and family but most of all I owe it to myself to defeat this and get back to being me. Thank you for accepting me into this community and I look forward to meeting you all and hopefully helping eachother out. Thank you and God Bless.