blueangel
26-01-12, 12:04
Hi All
I don't make very frequent visits to NMP at the moment as I'm doing not too badly, but I'm looking for some information about agoraphobia (which I've never had myself).
I'm seeking a bit of input for my partner's mother, as she is an agoraphobia sufferer.
I gather it has crept on over many years, starting with things like having to sit at the back at the cinema so that she could "escape" quickly if necessary, but has progressed a lot over the last few years, to the extent now that she finds it difficult to go in any sort of transport. She can go out for walks to a limited extent, and does very occasionally go out in the car, but often this is only a couple of times a year, and for very short distances.
The big problem is that me and my partner are getting married in September, and we live 200 miles away. Getting married in their part of the country is absolutely not an option, as we wouldn't be able to have any guests to the wedding.
Obviously, she wants to come to the wedding, but has already found a reason to reject every way of getting there (I know this is part of the avoidance process and she is justifying to herself that it's impossible to do).
The issues to be dealt with are:
* if she can't go, she will be guilty forever more that she wasn't able to go to her eldest won's wedding, and this will most likely mean that she will never attempt any sort of journey again (therefore she will miss out on her grandchildren's major life events and wouldn't cope *at all* if anything happened to her husband
* my partner will naturally be upset and disappointed that his mum isn't able to be there
* it's actually ruining his dad's life as well - he can't go out anywhere as he doesn't want to leave her on his own. Although they're both retired, they're in very good health and he has a good pension, so there is all sorts of things they could be doing with their lives as well
I believe she might have tried some counselling a long time ago, but unfortunately she isn't the type of personality who will want to co-operate with other people. She is quite a "difficult" personality and isn't really interested in listening to other peoples' advice or opinions.
At the moment, the only ideas I can come up with are to try and have a chat with my partner's dad when we see them in a couple of weeks, and try to get to the bottom of how bad the problem is. I'm going to suggest that he tries to get her to the GP, as to be honest they are more than capable of paying for private treatment to get her sorted.
Any advice or opinions would be very welcome!
I don't make very frequent visits to NMP at the moment as I'm doing not too badly, but I'm looking for some information about agoraphobia (which I've never had myself).
I'm seeking a bit of input for my partner's mother, as she is an agoraphobia sufferer.
I gather it has crept on over many years, starting with things like having to sit at the back at the cinema so that she could "escape" quickly if necessary, but has progressed a lot over the last few years, to the extent now that she finds it difficult to go in any sort of transport. She can go out for walks to a limited extent, and does very occasionally go out in the car, but often this is only a couple of times a year, and for very short distances.
The big problem is that me and my partner are getting married in September, and we live 200 miles away. Getting married in their part of the country is absolutely not an option, as we wouldn't be able to have any guests to the wedding.
Obviously, she wants to come to the wedding, but has already found a reason to reject every way of getting there (I know this is part of the avoidance process and she is justifying to herself that it's impossible to do).
The issues to be dealt with are:
* if she can't go, she will be guilty forever more that she wasn't able to go to her eldest won's wedding, and this will most likely mean that she will never attempt any sort of journey again (therefore she will miss out on her grandchildren's major life events and wouldn't cope *at all* if anything happened to her husband
* my partner will naturally be upset and disappointed that his mum isn't able to be there
* it's actually ruining his dad's life as well - he can't go out anywhere as he doesn't want to leave her on his own. Although they're both retired, they're in very good health and he has a good pension, so there is all sorts of things they could be doing with their lives as well
I believe she might have tried some counselling a long time ago, but unfortunately she isn't the type of personality who will want to co-operate with other people. She is quite a "difficult" personality and isn't really interested in listening to other peoples' advice or opinions.
At the moment, the only ideas I can come up with are to try and have a chat with my partner's dad when we see them in a couple of weeks, and try to get to the bottom of how bad the problem is. I'm going to suggest that he tries to get her to the GP, as to be honest they are more than capable of paying for private treatment to get her sorted.
Any advice or opinions would be very welcome!