speckles69uk
26-01-12, 15:41
Hello everyone,
I am so glad that I found this site, as I feel like I am alone with what I am going through at the moment. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some advice.
This post might be quite long, so I do apologise and thank you for taking the time to read.
I first realised that I may have some sort of panic disorder a few months back. I was out shopping with a friend when I started to feel really ill. I felt like I could not feel one side of my face, it felt achy and numb. My left eye felt like it was not working the same as my right eye; I thought I was having a stroke. I started to move and twitch my face in places to see if they would move, I was shocked that they did. I also had an awful achy, numb, heavy feeling in my left arm and my left leg. I tried moving them and shaking them about to see of they would move, and they did. (I imagine anybody in the shop looking at me was thinking 'what on earth is that woman doing over there?'). Inside my head I was shouting somebody help me, please. My friend was in the queue at the time so was not aware of what I was feeling. I was moving around wanting somebody to help me, feeling scared, what was happening to me? When my friend had finished in the queue I told her I needed to go outside and get some air, and maybe get some water and a sandwich as I felt dizzy and shaky. We visited the nearest shop and I sat down at a bus stop to eat and drink. All of a sudden my physical symptoms got worse. My heart was racing and I felt a slight pain in my chest. I could not breathe, I felt like I could not get enough air in. I became really shaky and dizzy and felt like that was it, I am going to die, please somebody help me. My friend called an ambulance. Whilst waiting, the symptoms seemed to get worse, I couldn’t feel my legs and hands anymore and I had difficult speaking. When the ambulance arrived they placed a monitor on my finger, one of the paramedics said that I had 100% oxygen so was not struggling to breathe. He told me to focus on my breathing and breathe slowly. After a few minutes they took me to the hospital. In the ambulance one of the paramedics was extremely rude, he made me feel like an absolute idiot and that I had wasted his time. He said ‘it’s only a panic attack, are you stressed about shopping?’ How rude of him! I felt like I was dying. At the hospital I checked myself in, which I found very difficult as I was still shaking and found it difficult to speak. The lady behind the counter was also quite rude and kept saying in what appeared to be a rude manner ‘speak up, I can’t hear you, I can’t understand you’, so my friend had to assist. When I was seen by the doctors they asked me a few health questions etc etc. The outcome was the doctor telling me that I had had a panic attack. I did not feel reassured as I was thinking why would I have such horrible physical symptoms from what was explained to me as a psychological condition. I also did not feel as if I had anything to be ‘stressed’ about. I was made to feel like I had wasted their time. She said that she could not refer me to anyone as it was an accident and emergency department and discharged me.
Thank you, if you’re still reading, it’s really appreciated.
Since that day, I have had numerous ‘episodes’, all with horrible symptoms. As time has gone on, I now tell myself that they are just panic attacks; you’re not going to die. But they often pop up out of the blue, I want to get rid of them, they’re awful and I feel like it’s taking over my life. I have them on the bus, as a passenger in a car, sat on the sofa, in bed, watching TV, walking, but mainly on the bus and as a passenger in a car. They can happen anytime of the day, and I don’t recognise anything that ‘triggers’ them. I am also taking driving lessons at the moment and recently I had a panic attack during one. It was awful, I had to pull over and tell my driving instructor that I needed to end my lesson as I felt like I was a danger on the road. I needed to get out of the car. I try not to avoid going on the bus or as a passenger in a car, as I do not want to associate these things with a bad experience, otherwise I’ll never do them again. They are happening quite frequently and I want my life back, I want to be able to drive. I also do not want to become trapped in my house afraid to go out. I am also looking for work, as I am not working at the moment. How on earth will I be able to keep or even get a job if I keep feeling like this?
Please, please, please can somebody help me?
Thank you for taking the time to read my message.
Kindest regards
Rebecca
I am so glad that I found this site, as I feel like I am alone with what I am going through at the moment. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some advice.
This post might be quite long, so I do apologise and thank you for taking the time to read.
I first realised that I may have some sort of panic disorder a few months back. I was out shopping with a friend when I started to feel really ill. I felt like I could not feel one side of my face, it felt achy and numb. My left eye felt like it was not working the same as my right eye; I thought I was having a stroke. I started to move and twitch my face in places to see if they would move, I was shocked that they did. I also had an awful achy, numb, heavy feeling in my left arm and my left leg. I tried moving them and shaking them about to see of they would move, and they did. (I imagine anybody in the shop looking at me was thinking 'what on earth is that woman doing over there?'). Inside my head I was shouting somebody help me, please. My friend was in the queue at the time so was not aware of what I was feeling. I was moving around wanting somebody to help me, feeling scared, what was happening to me? When my friend had finished in the queue I told her I needed to go outside and get some air, and maybe get some water and a sandwich as I felt dizzy and shaky. We visited the nearest shop and I sat down at a bus stop to eat and drink. All of a sudden my physical symptoms got worse. My heart was racing and I felt a slight pain in my chest. I could not breathe, I felt like I could not get enough air in. I became really shaky and dizzy and felt like that was it, I am going to die, please somebody help me. My friend called an ambulance. Whilst waiting, the symptoms seemed to get worse, I couldn’t feel my legs and hands anymore and I had difficult speaking. When the ambulance arrived they placed a monitor on my finger, one of the paramedics said that I had 100% oxygen so was not struggling to breathe. He told me to focus on my breathing and breathe slowly. After a few minutes they took me to the hospital. In the ambulance one of the paramedics was extremely rude, he made me feel like an absolute idiot and that I had wasted his time. He said ‘it’s only a panic attack, are you stressed about shopping?’ How rude of him! I felt like I was dying. At the hospital I checked myself in, which I found very difficult as I was still shaking and found it difficult to speak. The lady behind the counter was also quite rude and kept saying in what appeared to be a rude manner ‘speak up, I can’t hear you, I can’t understand you’, so my friend had to assist. When I was seen by the doctors they asked me a few health questions etc etc. The outcome was the doctor telling me that I had had a panic attack. I did not feel reassured as I was thinking why would I have such horrible physical symptoms from what was explained to me as a psychological condition. I also did not feel as if I had anything to be ‘stressed’ about. I was made to feel like I had wasted their time. She said that she could not refer me to anyone as it was an accident and emergency department and discharged me.
Thank you, if you’re still reading, it’s really appreciated.
Since that day, I have had numerous ‘episodes’, all with horrible symptoms. As time has gone on, I now tell myself that they are just panic attacks; you’re not going to die. But they often pop up out of the blue, I want to get rid of them, they’re awful and I feel like it’s taking over my life. I have them on the bus, as a passenger in a car, sat on the sofa, in bed, watching TV, walking, but mainly on the bus and as a passenger in a car. They can happen anytime of the day, and I don’t recognise anything that ‘triggers’ them. I am also taking driving lessons at the moment and recently I had a panic attack during one. It was awful, I had to pull over and tell my driving instructor that I needed to end my lesson as I felt like I was a danger on the road. I needed to get out of the car. I try not to avoid going on the bus or as a passenger in a car, as I do not want to associate these things with a bad experience, otherwise I’ll never do them again. They are happening quite frequently and I want my life back, I want to be able to drive. I also do not want to become trapped in my house afraid to go out. I am also looking for work, as I am not working at the moment. How on earth will I be able to keep or even get a job if I keep feeling like this?
Please, please, please can somebody help me?
Thank you for taking the time to read my message.
Kindest regards
Rebecca