hello and help

[mark10]

jan 24 2012, the day i seriously considered committing suicide for the first time. i only hope i can look back on this note one day, and breathe a sigh of relief. my children..my salvage....the only thing preventing me from pulling the plug. if only i knew why this thing had taken root inside me, and is so relentless and unforgiving. how could it happen to me? ive got it all, nice home, good job that pays well, 3 adorable kids. loving, caring partner, good family and friends. yet i am completely lost.

[diane07]

Hi mark10

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[clear blue sky]

Hi Mark,

Please take comfort in the fact there are other people who at some point in their life's have felt that very same way.
You need to really look at how your feeling and realise it is a illness just like any other and its not a reflection on you as a person.
It can happen to anyone even the happiest person in the world. It is not your fault, you are not to blame for how you felt at that time and for feeling lost now.
Have you spoken with your G.P? ?

[Haybee]

it sounds like you're having a really low moment :( there are lots of people on here who have felt like this, you'll get some great support here. what have you done about your anxiety so far, have you been the docs yet, on meds/therapy etc..?

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya and welcome to NMP:welcome:

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Lindy]

Sounds like you've had a terrible month so far :( Have you seen a GP or are you getting some help now? I really hope so, depression is a horrible illness, there's plenty of people here who can understand that... There are plenty of treatments so I hope you get some help soon.

[ExtremeAngst]

Hi

I'm new to this site as well. I suffer from GAD and have had it for 25 years. From 1995 it was really well controlled with 20mg of Paroxetine but for some reason it stopped working in May 2011 and I went into extreme anxiety which I have only been able to come out of when taking benzos. My family and friends struggle to understand the severity of the anxiety and total loss of sleep. They say you must get so tired after a few days that you will fall asleep but oh no my body just keeps producing adrenalin for the fun of it - my adrenal glands are like a nuclear power station:weep:

Now this is not nice - since May I've tried to kill myself 4 times but I'm still here due to non-toxic meds! I hope I won't get into such a desperate state again. Anxiety and depression change our perceptions so much. Please take comfort that there are people who can help you and I'm sure you can be fixed:) I'm not properly fixed yet but I'm getting there.

Take Care
Sarah

[mark10]

thanks people, your words mean a lot. i have seen a gp and am taking medicine, although im feeling like a guinea pig at the moment until they ffind the right potion.
as you know , each day is an eternity. if you do sleep, when you wake and realize how much effort and mental strength you are going to have to summon up to get you through the day. its just complete despair at the moment. got to keep going for my kids.

[notsobubblychick]

Hi Mark

I'm pleased to read that you've been to your GP and are on some medication for your problem. Even more pleased that you didn't actually go ahead with the suicide - this must have been very difficult.

You may feel like a guinea pig, but hey its a start.

Try not to bottle up how you are feeling - I feel its important to talk. You may find it difficult talking to family or friends, but there's always the Samaritans - and of course, you have this brilliant website!

You may want to see my response to another post after yours on here - think it was entitled - 'will it ever get better' - as I have suggested some therapy such as CBT or attending an anxiety course such as AMBER.

Take one day at a time and try to be positive.

All the best and
DONT GIVE UP - THINGS WILL GET BETTER!