Does bad luck come in threes??

[jaded jean]

I posted a couple of weeks ago that my mum had passed on . This was followed three weeks later by a schoolfriend of 47 years (we became friends at infant school) I was coping well having counselling thru Bupa at work and another bombshell. My husband left me last week-30 years together . its killing me . I am giving the outward appearance of not caring etc but inside I am dying .my anx is back big time and I am wanting to be sick I am just managing to take the dog for a 15 minute walk if that and if she does'nt perform so to speak I get really snappy at her , how long will this last. I just feel I am in a horrible place again. To cap it all my hours are being cut down again in April :weep::weep:

[Wuboo]

Really sorry to hear about what's been going on.

Anxiety will last as long as you let it. I think accepting what's happened is a good start and try and speak to someone about your thoughts and feelings because it's always good to get a different angle on things, maybe even some CBT which you can get as a self referral via your GP.

[Lindy]

That's horrific :( So sorry to hear about that, you've had such a bad time of things, no wonder you are feeling the way you are. My therapist tells me that anxiety covers up the other emotions that we feel, whether that just applies to me or everyone I don't know, but I hope you are still getting your counselling? If not, I think talking to someone should be a priority, once you are actively doing something that can help. Also, there is an online anxiety CBT programme recommended on the therapy forum, it's free for 30 days, that might with the general anxiety / panic symptoms if you get them too. Thirdly, I'd recommend reading some books, either on bereavement or marriage break ups, and see if you can make any sense of all these losses which have hit you recently. I really hope you start to feel better soon, it won't be like this forever. Maybe at the moment, having your hours cut isn't the worst thing in the world? It can give you some time to recover ? x

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

My heart goes out to you hun...how much more can be thrown at you?

Sometimes life can be so cruel and we feel we are being dealt all the horrible cards. I really really hope things will turn around for you and that you will find a way through all of this (I know you will) though it wont feel like it at the moment.

Sending you hugs matey:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Take care
Jo.xx

[jaded jean]

Hi Jo its like I had a good run most of my life(questionable ) and then its happening in job lots -yes I am having counselling thru bupa via work and have contacted her to let her know so I might be able to extend the sessions I have been bold and gone out every day I took the week as annual leave and not sick so doing it good my diet is pants at the mo but hey thats probably a bonus . my worst times are when I wake up i the night and look across the bed .and when I get up the anx is horrid and I want to cry . but I am taking dad out for a meal tomorrow with my girls and going to lunch sunday with my sisters so thats the weekend covered. I am trying my hardest . it is one day at a time in this situation.
Thankyou all for your support peeps xxxx Jean

[jaded jean]

My anx is really becoming questionable now- I feel so rough in the mornings. I have taken to sleeping on the sofa as the bed is just too much to deal with. My coping skills are suffering as well . I think as I am adjusting to being on my own the realisation of what my husband dealt with for both of us was pretty major re paperwork etc. something new crops up everyday and I wonder when will it stop . I am having bereavement counselling still and aske the counsellor if we could roll it in to one re my husband leaving too.its so difficult at times .I feel nearly as bad as I did when I first joined this brilliant site. its was my lifeline believe me

[flossie]

Hi jaded jean. I'm so sorry to read about the terrible time you have been having. Also my condolences on the loss of your mum. I know only too well what a huge loss that is. It took me a long time to think of my mum without it hurting, but the old saying 'time heals' is true. The time will come when you will carry your mums love with you in your heart and no one will ever take that from you.
You have been through so much and are trying to come to terms with it all in one go it's no wonder you are having trouble functioning.
Do you have a spare bedroom you could move into and make your own?
Is your bedroom big enough to rearrange the furniture or could you change the colour of the walls? Think how you could change it to make it your room - your own personal space that you can have just how you want. Buy a new duvet cover or a couple of pictures. Something that is yours alone and holds no memories related to anyone else. Perhaps you could find something you know your husband would hate and delight in displaying it in your house. I appreciate money is tight so you don't need to spend a lot.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You have a lot of changes going on in your life at the moment and a lot to deal with. Don't hide your hurt from your friends, let them support you while you find your way through this difficult time.
This is important - give your dog a big hug and cry on her shoulder. She is your best friend and will love you whatever.
Be kind to yourself

[jaded jean]

Flossie such a coincidence that was mums nick name at work when she was a postie !!. I greet each day with immense fear and thoughts of being totally useless and unable to carry out the daily tasks I have at work. I mentioned it at work to my team leader and he just made all these mm yess oh dear sounds and I though this is ridiculous why I am I actually telling him this as there doesnt seem to be any support here so I just ended the phone call.I hug my doggie loads she is a big animal so she wont get too worn out with it eh!! I carry on going to work so as I wont fall down that black hole of despair where I was 2 years ago -the thing is it feels just like that -its so close. I a, waiting for a consultatation call from the doctor just so I need to see whether I should up my dose of citalopram or not because of this . keep your fingers crossed x

[flossie]

You are not totally useless and you are able to carry out your daily tasks. You are trying to deal with two major traumas. Each, on their own, are difficult to come to terms with. Both coming together along with the loss of your friend and concerns about your working hours are making you feel unable to see through to the other side.
Recognise that a lot of your anxiety is actually grief, both for your mum and the end of your marriage. You are not useless you are grieving. You need to allow yourself to grieve so don't be so hard on yourself.
Give yourself little treats and things to look forward to. Buy something nice to eat and don't forget a chew for the dog. Find a programme you wouldn't mind watching and plan a girls night in together. Can you tell my dog is my best friend too?