Jenveale
27-01-12, 15:35
Hi everyone,
I'm Jennifer a single mum of 3 kids ages 17, 13 and 11. The 11 year old has ADHD and ODD and genetic link is myself.
Around 10 years ago I started on Venlaflaxine after loosing my dad and stayed on that drug till recently. Anytime I wasn't coping the doctor upped the dose. Two years ago I had a breakdown and it was put up to 225mg and my mum had to take the kids for me.
Last Jan I decided it was time to come off the drug as had been on it so long and felt good. Plus I was sleeping a huge amount and unable to wake up and so therefore not get my son to school. This was a long time problem that just seemed to get worse. Perhaps in line with each dose uppage??
By August I was down to 75mg and the sleeping problem seemed resolved and so the doc and I decided to go to 37.5mg and see how I coped on that. I did fine till just before xmas and had a complete mental breakdown. Doc upped me to 75mg again, but now anxiety kicked in with suicide thoughts, numb arms, can't breathe, crying hysterically. So I was told these will pass but given Diazepam to cope through xmas and new year. Things just got worse and I went out in the car one night to find a wall to drive into.
When the doctors opened back up it was decided to take me off venlflaxine and do a cross over with citalopram. So a week down at 37.5mg then adding in 10mg of citalopram.
Now off the venlafaxine and on 20mg citalopram plus 2 to 3 5mg diazepam a day. Mornings I can't do anything, I really struggled and suicide thoughts were a battle. By late afternoon I felt more in control and able to do normal daily things. I rang the doctor yesterday and asked if perhaps taking the citalopram in the evening might be better for me because I was also waking really early in the morning and unable to go back to sleep as i felt like coil unable to relax again. So she said could try it and I did last night. Have struggled all day (maybe just a bad day) but now the familar morning tears and horrible thoughts and the feeling of not coping is appearing, so now I may have just reversed the time instead. Next dose is due at 7pm and had 3 diazepam today already.
I feel so lost and with no control over anything. Everyone says you will get there and it'll be better. just hard to believe just now.
I see psychiatrist on weds to see if I have adult ADHD or something else. As before the meltdown I didn't feel depressed, but had had a stressful year and thought things were finally going right for me.
I'd do anything to feel normal and in control again.
I'm Jennifer a single mum of 3 kids ages 17, 13 and 11. The 11 year old has ADHD and ODD and genetic link is myself.
Around 10 years ago I started on Venlaflaxine after loosing my dad and stayed on that drug till recently. Anytime I wasn't coping the doctor upped the dose. Two years ago I had a breakdown and it was put up to 225mg and my mum had to take the kids for me.
Last Jan I decided it was time to come off the drug as had been on it so long and felt good. Plus I was sleeping a huge amount and unable to wake up and so therefore not get my son to school. This was a long time problem that just seemed to get worse. Perhaps in line with each dose uppage??
By August I was down to 75mg and the sleeping problem seemed resolved and so the doc and I decided to go to 37.5mg and see how I coped on that. I did fine till just before xmas and had a complete mental breakdown. Doc upped me to 75mg again, but now anxiety kicked in with suicide thoughts, numb arms, can't breathe, crying hysterically. So I was told these will pass but given Diazepam to cope through xmas and new year. Things just got worse and I went out in the car one night to find a wall to drive into.
When the doctors opened back up it was decided to take me off venlflaxine and do a cross over with citalopram. So a week down at 37.5mg then adding in 10mg of citalopram.
Now off the venlafaxine and on 20mg citalopram plus 2 to 3 5mg diazepam a day. Mornings I can't do anything, I really struggled and suicide thoughts were a battle. By late afternoon I felt more in control and able to do normal daily things. I rang the doctor yesterday and asked if perhaps taking the citalopram in the evening might be better for me because I was also waking really early in the morning and unable to go back to sleep as i felt like coil unable to relax again. So she said could try it and I did last night. Have struggled all day (maybe just a bad day) but now the familar morning tears and horrible thoughts and the feeling of not coping is appearing, so now I may have just reversed the time instead. Next dose is due at 7pm and had 3 diazepam today already.
I feel so lost and with no control over anything. Everyone says you will get there and it'll be better. just hard to believe just now.
I see psychiatrist on weds to see if I have adult ADHD or something else. As before the meltdown I didn't feel depressed, but had had a stressful year and thought things were finally going right for me.
I'd do anything to feel normal and in control again.