Leukemia fear is destroying me...

[MaryMac]

Hi everyone. My HA has been focused on leukemia since around October/November. I have no idea why it's leukemia, I don't know anyone who has had it, but the last few months have been a living hell for me. I have better days sometimes, but it's always in the back of my mind. It seems like since I googled leukemia, I seem to have had symptoms of it. Even though I KNOW what the symptoms are, I keep googling it. I went to my doctor a couple of weeks ago and she's referred me for CBT which I've had before so I hope it helps. Anyway, I want to go for a blood test to put my mind at ease but at the same time I'm TERRIFIED of the results. Here are the symptoms I've had since November:
Tooth abcess (had the tooth removed and it's healed fine)
A really bad cold, the cough didn't leave for a few weeks afterwards
One or 2 nights waking up roasting (Not quite nightsweats but....)
Found a yellow spot on my tonsil (doc said nothing to worry about and it's gone now)
Sore bones (am sure through anxiety and shaking constantly)
Palpitations when I wake up in the morning and throughout the day
IBS attacks
Itching
Dry mouth
Some small bruises which I can mostly account for (a couple I can't) but they are fading as normal

What's REALLY bothering me now is that I have been looking for petechia, and I've found some really small red dots under the skin on my right leg. They're tiny and I wouldn't notice them unless I was looking. There's about 2 or 3, and they don't blanch when I press them.
I don't feel generally unwell, other than the anxiety, I'm not fatigued, I'm not bleeding easily, (I just had a period which was normal), and I KNOW that if I did have leukemia I'd probably feel awful. Why am I experiencing these symptoms when I'm so worried about it though? That's what I don't understand!!
ARGHH. Sorry for the rant but I'm just about at my wits end!!!! x

[justina]

When your thrombocytes are low (which is why leukemia can give you bruises and petechia) you can get really big, dark blue/black bruises and you can also feel them under the skin.
Two or three petechia is nothing to worry about. If you have many, it CAN be a sign of low thrombocytes, but maybe not - maybe you just sat with your leg in a strange position.

Also, leukemia - as far as I know - makes you feel really ill.

[MaryMac]

Thanks for replying. The area they are is an area of my leg that I don't usually shave but I did, and the skin is sort of puckered and marked anyway, so I don't know if they've always been there or not. It just annoys me that I'm actually leaving my work to go into a toilet to check things with the torch on my phone!! I hate this!!!!